


Promises Kept

by CelticGrace



Series: Lucy [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Stalking, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-05 09:02:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 58
Words: 72,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticGrace/pseuds/CelticGrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucy Shepard lost everything when the batarians raided Mindoir.  But what she gained afterward, she wouldn't trade for anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bioware owns the Mass Effect universe and all characters within. If you don't recognize a character, it's probably mine.
> 
> Beta: pixelatrix

Her father stumbling through the living room in a drunken haze was what woke Lucy Shepard nearly every morning. How he managed to get up and go out to work on their farm, she'd never figured out. But every morning, he did just that. And every evening, he would go into town and get slobbering drunk before coming home and crashing on the couch.

Today's _wake-up call_ was different. It was earlier than usual and it wasn't her father that woke Lucy, but her older brother Kevin as he threw open her bedroom door.

She blinked a few times to clear her vision and squeaked as he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of bed.

“We have to go. Now.”

“What's going on?” she asked thickly, catching the clothes he tossed in her general direction.

“Batarians. They're in the town, but they'll be at the farms soon enough. Hurry!” With that, he ran from the room. As she exchanged pajamas for a t-shirt, sweatshirt and jeans and pulled on a pair of boots, she glanced at her alarm clock.

It wasn't even 11 pm.

“Hurry up, Lucy!”

She ran out into the living room as Kevin was loading one of his heavy pistols. A second one lay on the shelf in front of him. “Where's Dad?”

“Where d'you think?” He shook his head. “He was still in town. Sent me a message.”

“Was?”

Kevin shoved one of the pistols into her hands. “It's a damn slave raid. How long do you think he's gonna last out there?”

“He's a soldier, Kevin.”

“He _used to be_ a soldier,” he corrected. “Now he's just a drunk who pretends to be a farmer.”

She glanced down at the weapon in her hands and back at him. “What the hell do you want me to do with this?”

He took the gun back for a moment and wrapped his arms around her. “Go. Run as fast as you can, anywhere that's not... here.”

“That didn't answer my question.”

He gently kissed her forehead and pressed the gun into her hands again. “Shoot anything that moves, that's not me or Dad. That's not... human.”

“Where-”

There was a crash as the front door was smashed open.

“No, Lucy. Go. Now!” He spun her around and shoved her out of the back door and into the darkness.

She stumbled a moment and ran headlong into an armored chest. She looked up and screamed as the four-eyed alien staring back at her easily grabbed the pistol from her and threw it across the yard. He reached out, grabbed her by the throat and lifted her a few inches off the ground. He squeezed hard, causing a talon on the thumb of his gauntleted hand to slice into her neck. Before she could do more than grab his arm with both hands, a bullet caught him in the side of the head and he fell to the ground, taking Lucy with him.

She struggled a moment to dislodge the talon from her neck but finally freed herself and scrambled to her feet. As she fumbled in the dark for the pistol, she looked around for the shooter, but found no one in the area except the dead batarian.

_What the fuck?_

As soon as her hand closed on the cold metal of the gun, she started running. She didn't know where she was going, or how long she ran. She just kept going until her lungs felt like they were on fire.

When she stopped, she was at the treeline bordering the back of the family farm. Figuring the trees would make a good temporary cover, she stumbled on a bit further before collapsing against a large fir tree. She slid down the trunk to the ground, clutching at a pain in her side as she gasped for breath.

She could still hear the explosions and gunfire in the distance, mostly in the direction of the farms. But the relatively early time meant there were a few people left in town and she knew the batarians were likely still there as well.

She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on something else, _anything_ else, that would take her mind off of the horror of slavers and the cut on her neck, which apart from being painful had started to itch. But all she saw was the bullet going into the batarian's head. She couldn't help wondering who the hell had shot him. When this was over, if she managed to get out alive, she intended to find them and thank them.

Endless hours passed. Lucy jumped at every twig that cracked, every animal noise. But eventually, fatigue set in and she passed out. She woke to the sound of voices nearby. Her grip on the pistol tightened instinctively as she opened her eyes and saw flashlights entirely too close by for her to feel safe in her current location. She hadn't seen a single human since Kevin had pushed her out the door and she wasn't at all optimistic at the chances of these being human either.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a ping on her omni-tool that echoed loudly in the mostly silent woods. She looked down at the message and her hand flew to her mouth to stifle a cry of surprise.

> _If you are still alive, tell me where you are so I can find you. -Uncle Steven_

It had been years since she'd seen her uncle, not since her mother's funeral when she was ten. He had stayed with the Alliance after the First Contact War, was now an Admiral and if Kevin was to be believed, he cared more about his career than his family.

And yet now...

She sent a quick reply:

> _I'm in the woods behind the farm. -Lucy_

As soon as she hit send, she heard a second ping not far off, in the direction of the flashlights and voices. Suddenly, one of those voices started calling her name. She tried to get up, but her legs refused to cooperate, giving out almost immediately, and she fell back against the tree.

“I'm over here!” she called out as loudly as she dared, still not quite wanting to believe the lights and voices belonged to humans. One of the lights broke away from the rest and started towards her. As they got closer, she couldn't help the feeling of dread that swept over her, that she'd made a mistake and now she was about to die just like everyone else.

The voice behind the lone flashlight was calling her name again. And this time, she recognized it as her uncle's voice.

* * *

When he had seen the burnt remains of the farm, Hackett's faith that his niece was alive had dwindled to almost nothing. His heart had nearly leaped out of his chest when he'd received her return message. And now, here she was, not 50 yards away.

“Thank God,” he said as he reached her. He knelt beside her, shining his flashlight on her. “Are you hurt, Lucy?” he asked in alarm, taking in all of the blood that covered her sweatshirt.

She shook her head, though he noticed it was with a slight wince. “I'm okay. The blood isn't mine.” She looked at him in confusion. “Why are you here?”

He was taken aback by the question. “What do you mean? Mine was one of the ships that responded to the attack. But-”

Her face fell. “Oh.”

He lifted her chin with one hand and brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “ _But_ the reason I'm here right now is because of you, sweetheart.” She nodded slightly. “Now would you mind telling me _whose_ blood that is if it's not yours?”

“A batarian at the house,” she said quietly, staring off into the darkness. “Somebody, I don't know who, shot him when he grabbed me.”

Hackett stood then and held a hand out to her. “Can you walk?”

“I think so,” she said, gripping his hand tightly as she stood on shaking legs. “Apparently not _well_ , but...”

He wrapped an arm around her. “Let's get you out of here.”

She stopped suddenly. “What about Kevin?” she asked, trying to pull away.

He tightened his grip on her shoulders. “He's... I'm sorry, sweetheart. He's dead.”

She pulled away violently and tumbled forward. He caught her around the waist before she hit the ground and pulled her back against his chest, even as she fought to get away. “No! We have to go back and check! We can't leave him!”

“Lucy, I need you to get a grip sweetheart.” She stopped struggling instantly, her pale grey eyes widening in shock as he turned her to face him again. He shook his head before continuing in a gentler tone. “We went by the farm first, or what's left of it. I saw him with my own eyes. I'm sorry.”

She slumped against him and started sobbing against his chest. It was then he noticed the pistol she was clutching tightly in one hand. He tried to take it from her and she resisted.

“I-I can't. It's all I have left,” she said quietly.

“I know, sweetheart.” He put a hand over hers. “Just... let me take the bullets out. You won't need them anymore. You're safe now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos and comments!

_You're safe now._

The words still echoed in Lucy's mind as she sat curled up under a blanket on the couch in her uncle's quarters. The ship's doctor had checked her over and, apart from the deep gash and some heavy bruising on her neck, he had found no other injuries. When he'd tried to keep her overnight for observation anyway, her uncle had argued against it, stating that what she needed was family, not a stranger's observation.

She was ordering a few sets of clothes and books when her omni-tool pinged with an incoming message. She frowned. As far as she knew, everyone she'd ever known was either dead or sitting not five feet from her, typing up a report on the attack, so who the hell would be sending her a message?

> _From: Zaeed Massani_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: You Alive?_
> 
> _Don't know if he ever mentioned me, but I was a friend of your brother. We were in the Alliance together years ago._
> 
> _I'm so goddamn sorry. I tried to help him after I shot the bastard that had grabbed you, but I was too late. And then I tried to find you when I left the farm, but I had no idea where you'd gone._
> 
> _Let me know if there's anything I can do to help._
> 
> _-Zaeed_

She stared at the message for a full five minutes before she was able to type out a reply.

> _From: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _To: Zaeed Massani_
> 
> _Subj: Thanks_
> 
> _Kevin didn't talk much about his days in the Alliance but I think he mentioned you a couple of times. Your name seems familiar anyway._
> 
> _I'm sure I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for you. And please don't blame yourself for Kevin's death. That was the batarians, plain and simple._
> 
> _I think I'll be okay. Maybe. Someday._
> 
> _-Lucy_

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” She looked up to see her uncle watching her with concern.

She shook her head. “Nothing. Found out who shot that batarian back on the farm; he sent me a message. I was just sending him a reply.”

“I see. Who was it?”

“One of Kevin's friends from his Alliance days.”

“Is he still with the Alliance?”

She shrugged. “He didn't say, but I don't think he is. Just said to let him know if there was anything he could do to help.”

“I see,” Hackett said again. “What his name?”

“Zaeed Massani.”

His jaw clenched tightly. “No. He's definitely not still with the Alliance. Left not long after your brother did.”

“You know him?”

“He left with another friend of his. They decided they didn't like the rules of military life so they made up their own and started a mercenary group. Until you mentioned his name though, I thought he was dead.”

“Why?”

“Partnership soured about a year ago. I'd heard he got shot point-blank in the face, so it's interesting that he survived.” Hackett turned serious eyes towards her. “Stay away from him, Lucy. He's dangerous.”

“If it wasn't for him, _I'd_ be dead right now,” she protested. “Not like I was gonna date him or something. It was just a simple e-mail.”

“Nothing is ever _simple_ with Zaeed Massani.” He shook his head and sighed. “Get some sleep, sweetheart. We'll be docking at Arcturus in a few hours.”

“And then what?”

“What do you mean _and then what_?” He frowned. “Did you seriously think I was going to come get you and then dump you on some stranger's doorstep?”

Now that he'd said it out loud, it did seem ridiculous. She looked down at her hands and mumbled, “I don't know. Kevin always-”

He came over to sit on the coffee table and took her hands in his. “I am well aware of what your brother thought of me, though I have no idea _why_. But, before your mother died, I promised her that I would always look out for you.”

“Why?”

“She wanted to make sure you had a safe place to go if your father's drinking got worse and he turned violent. Or, if _this_ happened.”

Lucy shook her head. “Dad definitely drank more, a _lot_ more, after she died, but he was never violent. He was never... _anything_ really. He just sort of operated on auto-pilot, ya know?” She bit her lip in thought. “So, you've been prepared for this for six years?”

He gave her a small smile. “In as much as a person can be prepared for something like this, yes.”

She sighed. “I... thanks for coming to find me tonight.”

“I don't know what I ever did to give the impression that I don't care,” he said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head before he stood up. “But family means everything to me and I will do anything to protect them.”

* * *

 _Overwhelming._ That was the first word that came to mind when Lucy set foot on Arcturus Station. Having spent the last eleven years on Mindoir and not remembering a hell of a lot of the five years she'd spent in Dallas before that, everything about the station was huge and extremely bright. And crowded. She'd never seen so many people in one place in her life.

She pulled up the hood of the jacket she'd borrowed from her uncle so it covered her face and stuck close to him as he navigated through the throngs of people at the docks. A woman claiming to be from ANN approached, demanding an interview, and Lucy cringed, expecting a barrage of questions. But Hackett merely wrapped a protective arm around her and pushed on towards the skycab stand, ignoring the reporter entirely.

“The public has a right to know what happened on Mindoir, Admiral!” she called after them.

He stopped and sighed, giving Lucy an apologetic smile as he turned, putting himself between her and the reporter.

“With all due respect, the public already knows everything it _needs_ to know,” he said smoothly, though Lucy could hear a hard edge to his voice. “Nothing will come from harassing the survivors and witnesses of this nightmare except more heartache. You likely won't get any more answers today and you certainly won't get them from me. Good day.”

He turned on his heel and gently pushed Lucy onward. He didn't speak again until they'd settled into a skycab and were on their way to his apartment. “Lucy, promise me something.”

She raised an eyebrow as she glanced over at him. “What's that?”

“Whatever you decide to do with your life, for the love of God, please don't become a reporter.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments and kudos :)

“We are gathered here today to remember those who were lost, be they civilian or Alliance, to the batarian attack...”

The Alliance chaplain droned on and on, but Hackett stopped listening after awhile, his attention focused instead on Lucy. He had an arm wrapped around her as she sat next to him with her head on his shoulder, sobbing quietly as the chaplain read out the names of the dead.

He had thought at first that coming back to Mindoir was going to trigger some sort of panic attack for her, but she had welcomed the idea of going to the service. And now that all was said and done, he was slightly relieved. Until now, she'd shown absolutely no emotion since the night of the attack and he had started to worry about her. She'd been acting much the way she'd described her father, minus the drinking. Except that Hackett knew that his brother-in-law had been more aware than he'd apparently let on to either of his children. The two men had corresponded frequently over the years and it had been Michael's own message, not the Alliance itself, that had first alerted Hackett to the slaver attack.

When the service was over, Hackett and Lucy walked over to the memorial stone that had been placed near the entrance to the town.

“Thanks for bringing me here, Uncle Steven,” she said quietly, running her fingers over the names of her father and brother. “I think I really needed this. A bit of closure or as close to it as I'll ever get, I suppose. And I'm sorry I've been so... out of it lately.”

He pulled her into a hug. “You're not grieving alone. I'm always here for you.”

“I know,” she said, nodding slowly. She glanced at the stone. “I think I just... I want to stay for a bit. I know it's stupid, but there's a lot of stuff I didn't get to say. Like... goodbye.”

* * *

Lucy had been standing alone at the memorial stone for no more than a couple of minutes when someone came to stand beside her. She glanced over to see a man, about Kevin's age, with a tattoo on his neck, several more on his arm and a long scar running the length of the right side of his face.

Neither of them spoke for several minutes.

“He made me promise to keep an eye on you,” the man said quietly after awhile. “I don't know what the hell he meant by that, but...”

She turned to look at him and noticed he was looking at the same two names she was. She placed a tentative hand on his arm. “Zaeed?”

He nodded as he turned toward her. “Glad to see you escaped _relatively_ unscathed,” he said, gesturing to the now-scarring talon wound on her neck.

She gave him a small smile. “Only thanks to you.” She leaned in to gently kiss his cheek and quickly turned away, blushing furiously as she made her way over to where her uncle was talking with a couple of members of the Admiralty.

He raised an eyebrow. “Who was that?” he asked as the men walked away.

“No one,” she mumbled, looking away to avoid his piercing gaze.

“Lucy.”

She sighed. “Fine. It was Zaeed.”

“I see.” He shook his head. “I'd wondered if he would show up. And?”

“And nothing.” She shrugged. “We just talked for a second.”

“That did _not_ look like _just talking_.”

She rolled her eyes. “Think whatever you want, Uncle Steven, but it was completely innocent.”

He seemed unconvinced. “I'll only say one thing, if you insist on staying in contact with him,” he said as they walked together past the memorial stone and into the remains of the town. “Be careful. Whether or not _he_ is dangerous, which I still think he is, he certainly has dangerous enemies, not the least of which would be his ex-partner.”

Lucy didn't know how to respond to that, so she just nodded. If her uncle wanted to think there was something to her non-relationship with Zaeed, that was his problem.

She pushed all thoughts of the bounty hunter out of her mind and ignored the ping on her omni-tool as she and Hackett approached the remains of the farm. When he'd asked her why she wanted to come back so soon to the farm itself, she'd had an answer all ready but hadn't known how to articulate it. Now that they were actually _in_ the place, sifting through the charred remnants of her childhood, she couldn't rightly remember what the hell that reason had been.

“Are you all right, sweetheart?” Hackett asked, placing a hand on her shoulder as she stood in the middle of what had been the living room. The last place she'd seen and talked to Kevin.

She sighed heavily and shook her head. “I'm sorry. We shouldn't... it was a mistake, coming back here. I don't know why I thought I _needed_ to see this place again, especially like this.”

He gripped her shoulder tightly and turned her to face him. He didn't say a word, only held her as she buried her face in his shirt and sobbed.

“You may not realize it now, but sometime down the road, the fact that you chose to come back here may help you,” he said after a prolonged silence. “There's no right or wrong way to grieve, and it will take time.”

“If you say so.” She knew he was probably right, about coming back to the farm. But at the moment, it still felt like it had been an incredibly stupid idea.

“Do you want to go?” he asked, pulling her back from her thoughts that had once again started to wander to her last conversation with Kevin.

She nodded. “Yes, please. I needed closure, but I got that, for the most part, at the memorial.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

She looped her arm through his as they walked out of the house and away from the farm. “Everything.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments

“Are you sure you'll be okay to stay by yourself?” Hackett asked, yet again, as he prepared to leave. “It's not too late to change your mind.”

Lucy smiled. “I'll be fine. If you were going to a conference on Earth or something, I'd definitely tag along. I could go sight-seeing or... something. But this, spending a month on a starship? No thanks. I'll be bored out of my skull within a day.”

He chuckled. “You may be right. At least if you're here on the station, I know you'll have school to occupy your time.” He looked at her sternly. “You will keep up your school work.”

“Of course,” she scoffed. “No way am I falling behind now. I still plan to graduate and go to university on Earth.”

“Excellent plan. Stick with it.” He pulled her into a hug. “If you find you don't want to stay by yourself, don't forget the Moreaus said you're more than welcome to stay with them. And you can message me any time, all right?”

She nodded.

He lifted her chin in one hand, forcing her to look into his eyes. “And don't forget what I said about Massani.”

She huffed and rolled her eyes. “I know, I know.”

They'd had the same argument at least half a dozen times in the weeks that had passed since the memorial service on Mindoir. And since Hackett had received notice of his next mission, brief though it was going to be, he'd worried over what would happen while he was gone. He wasn't stupid; he knew that if she needed someone to talk to, it was much more likely she'd message the bounty hunter than she would her own family. He also knew that if he forbade her from contacting Massani at all, she'd rebel and... only God knew what she'd likely do. So he kept up his warnings to her, in hopes that _one_ of them would sink in and she'd decide to stay away from Massani on her own.

“Seriously, I'll be fine, Uncle Steven,” she said, holding out one of his bags for him as he put on his jacket. “And yes, I'll be careful of Massani.”

“Good.” He kissed the top of her head, took the bag from her hand and walked out the door.

* * *

 _Fuck_. Lucy woke in a cold sweat. It was the eighth time since her uncle had left that she'd had a nightmare about batarians. She hadn't told him about them, but she needed to do _something_. The lack of sleep was affecting her school work. She sighed and grabbed her omni-tool as she pulled on a sweatshirt and padded into the living room with a blanket.

It hadn't been until they were on their way back to Arcturus after the memorial service that she'd remembered the ping on her omni-tool. She'd pulled up her messages to find one from Zaeed: _Send me a message if you ever need to talk. Any time. - Z_

She decided now was the time to take him up on that offer.

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Arcturus_
> 
> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Zaeed_
> 
> _02:25 L: Hi_
> 
> _02:28 Z: Hey_
> 
> _02:30 Z: What's up?_
> 
> _02:35 L: I... crap this was stupid._
> 
> _02:36 L: Forget it._
> 
> _02:39 Z: Lucy, what's wrong?_
> 
> _02:40 Z: I wasn't kidding when I said you could message me any time._
> 
> _02:50 L: Do you ever have nightmares?_
> 
> _02:52 Z: All the bloody time._
> 
> _02:55 Z: Why do you ask? You have one tonight?_
> 
> _03:00 L: Not just tonight. Uncle Steven is... away... and I've had at least one every night he's been gone._
> 
> _03:01 Z: Shit. And I'm guessing you haven't told him._
> 
> _03:05 L: No. I'm afraid if I do, he'll... come home or something. Or make me go with him._
> 
> _03:06 Z: Surprised he agreed to leave you by yourself as it was._
> 
> _03:07 L: Why?_
> 
> _03:09 Z: I dunno really. I remember how bloody strict he was when I was with the Alliance. So I just always pictured him as the overprotective to the point of smothering type._
> 
> _03:13 L: That's what I'm afraid will happen. I know he keeps trying to prove that he's more of a family man than Kevin ever thought he was, but at some point, that's probably going to translate into being the overbearing “dad” that my own dad just... wasn't._
> 
> _03:15 L: I... um... sorry. I didn't mean to say quite that much._
> 
> _03:16 Z: 'S all right._
> 
> _03:17 Z: What was your nightmare about?_
> 
> _03:19 L: Batarians. The others have been the same as well, except those all involved me. I usually wake up gasping for breath, like somebody is choking me._
> 
> _03:20 Z: And this one?_
> 
> _03:22 L: This one wasn't... it wasn't me. It was Kevin and Dad. And a couple of my friends._
> 
> _03:26 L: Why were you at the farm that night?_
> 
> _03:28 Z: Picking up a bounty._
> 
> _03:30 L: Kevin???_
> 
> _03:31 Z: Hell no._
> 
> _03:33 Z: I was in town, saw your old man at the bar. I was already heading to the farm to see Kevin when the raid started._
> 
> _03:34 L: Oh._
> 
> _03:35 L: Did you go to Mindoir a lot?_
> 
> _03:36 Z: No. Small farming community like that, a criminal, particularly an alien one, would stick out like a bloody sore thumb._
> 
> _03:38 L: Right._
> 
> _03:40 Z: But I'd tracked this one into town. He ran off before I could nab him though._
> 
> _03:41 L: Batarian?_
> 
> _03:42 Z: Yes. Should have known something was up._
> 
> _03:43 L: Not your fault._
> 
> _03:45 L: Thanks._
> 
> _03:46 Z: For?_
> 
> _03:48 L: Listening._
> 
> _03:50 Z: You gonna be okay?_
> 
> _03:51 L: I think so._
> 
> _03:52 L: I'm gonna try to get some sleep now._
> 
> _03:53 Z: G'night._
> 
> _03:55 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

_Three Weeks Later..._

Hackett was positive something had gone horribly wrong. He unlocked the door to his apartment, stepped into the living room and was overwhelmed by the scents of... home. Of Buenos Aires.

Perhaps he'd hit his head at some point and been knocked out, because he _had_ to be dreaming. He dropped his bags by the door, stepped into the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks in the doorway.

Every surface was covered in pots and pans, and Lucy was in the middle of it all, dicing sweet potatoes.

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “What is all this?” he asked, walking over to the stove to see a stew bubbling away.

“It's a recipe Mom tried to teach me when I was little,” Lucy replied, carrying a handful of sweet potato chunks to the stove and dropping them into the pot. She smiled ruefully. “She had more success with Kevin, mostly because... he could reach the stove.”

Hackett grabbed a spoon to sneak a taste. “For something she _tried_ to teach you, you seem to be doing quite well.”

“Oh yeah. Well, after she died, Kevin decided to start a tradition of making this dish on her birthday. And eventually he taught me, with limited success.” She added the rest of the potato chunks along with a cup of raisins and stirred it all together before putting on the lid. She turned away from the stove with a sigh. “I figured, with Kevin gone, I should continue the tradition.”

An hour later, they were sitting down to a delicious cumin pork and sweet potato _guiso_. Lucy seemed nervous, and not just about the food.

“What's wrong?” Hackett asked refilling his bowl with a second serving. “You're not normally this quiet over dinner.”

She shrugged. “Nothing. Just tired I guess. Had a long day.”

“Lucy, it's Sunday. Unless you had some big school project, you did _not_ have a long day.” He ate a few spoonfuls before continuing. “You haven't been sleeping well, have you?”

She looked surprised but didn't deny it. “How'd you know?”

“Your English teacher called and said she was concerned about the quality of your last paper.”

“Oh.”

“So? What's going on?”

“Just... had a few nightmares.”

“How many is a few, Lucy?”

She mumbled something he couldn't quite make out, but vaguely sounded like “almost every night.”

He raised an eyebrow. “For a whole month?”

She shook her head. “Not... exactly.”

He frowned. “Why didn't you tell me?”

She shrugged again. “I dunno.”

“Did they eventually stop?”

“Yes. I... talked to Zaeed once,” she said quietly, looking down at her bowl of half-eaten _guiso._

“I see. And the reason you felt the need to talk to _him_ instead of me?”

“You wouldn't understand.”

“I wouldn't understand _what_ exactly?”

“Never mind. Forget it.”

Hackett got up and walked around to the other side of the table, crouching down beside her chair. “Lucy, what's wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

She shook her head. “No. I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that.” She sighed. “The reason... it was partly because I'm so used to being _alone_. I mean yeah, Dad and Kevin were... around, more or less, but I couldn't ever really talk to them.”

“I can't honestly say I'm any less confused than I was before, sweetheart.”

She didn't say anything for a minute. “I... was afraid that if I told _you_ , about the nightmares, that you would take my independence away or something. That's also why I never went to stay with the Moreaus.” She looked down at her hands. “And also, apparently I still had questions for Zaeed.”

“I see. I'm not going to try to change who you are, Lucy. Ever.”

She nodded. “Does it help that it was 0230 and I didn't want to wake you because I knew you had early meetings the whole time you were gone?”

He chuckled. “Yes, I suppose that helps a little.” He stood up and began clearing the dishes. “How long was this _chat_ , anyway?”

“About an hour and a half.”

He set the dishes on the counter and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, Lucy. You are forgiven. As long as it was just chatting.”

“Of course. I didn't actually _see_ Zaeed. Haven't seen him since the memorial.”

Hackett sighed as he began washing the dishes. “Thank heaven for small miracles.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments :)

_Eighteen Months Later..._

“Lucy Jane Shepard!”

Lucy heard whistling and cheers coming from a section of the stands as she got up to get her diploma. She looked over her shoulder and saw her boyfriend Tony had come home from college and was sitting with her uncle and the Moreaus. She also quickly scanned the stands for Zaeed but didn't see him anywhere.

 _That doesn't mean he's not here_ , she reminded herself as she carefully walked up the stairs and across the stage.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she was back at her seat, cheering the rest of her classmates as they walked up to the stage. She only dressed up when forced to and today was one of _those_ days. She'd barely made it across the stage without tripping in the heels Mrs. Moreau had picked to match her equally uncomfortable dress. One thing was certain, she was _never_ letting that woman take her shopping ever again, best friend's mother or not.

Finally, it was over.

Except that it wasn't. After the ceremony, there was a long session of picturing-taking, with everyone grumbling that hadn't their parents already taken a billion pictures before? Why did they need more after?

What felt like _hours_ later, it was time to party.

* * *

“Congratulations, Miss Shepard.”

Lucy turned away from the refreshment table and smiled. “Thank you, Commander Anderson,” she said, shaking the man's proffered hand.

“So what do you plan to do now, if I may ask?”

She shrugged. “I'm going back to Texas for college, that much I know. As for what I'm studying, I don't know yet. Possibly archeology or history.”

“ _Back_ to Texas?”

“Yes, sir. I was born in Dallas. We lived there 'til I was five, right before I started school. That's when my dad decided he wanted to be a farmer and the family moved to Mindoir.”

“Well, good luck with whatever you plan to study,” he said with a smile. “Hope we'll see you around here on your breaks.”

“Definitely.” Lucy spotted someone who looked slightly out of place among the military brass. “Excuse me a moment, Commander.”

He nodded as she stepped away. She started across the room where she'd seen Zaeed standing alone in a corner, looking disgusted at the drink in his hand. She couldn't help but laugh. The punch _was_ horrid, though she suspected his objection was less about the actual taste and more in the lack of alcohol.

However, before she got anywhere near him, a hand clamped down on her wrist and she found herself being dragged onto the dance floor.

She swore as she came face-to-face with Tony as he began spinning her towards the opposite side of the room. “I was just-”

“Ignoring me,” he said, pulling her in closer. “I came all this way specifically to see _you_ , babe, and you haven't said a damn word to me.”

She huffed impatiently. “I wasn't _ignoring_ you, idiot. I was going to talk to a friend. _You_ are gonna be here for a while. He's... not.”

“Right. A _friend_ ,” he said sarcastically.

She glared at him. “You trying to tell me I can't have friends now?”

“Don't be stupid, Lucy,” he scoffed. “Of course you can have friends. Just not-”

“Not what, Tony? Think long and hard before you finish that sentence,” she snapped as she put her hands on his chest and pushed him away. “Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go talk to my _friend_.”

* * *

Zaeed could see a war of emotions playing out on Lucy's face as she stalked towards him, a mixture of anger and... relief. He reached a hand out to pull her into a hug when she got close enough but she shook her head and grabbed his hand.

“Come on. I need to be... anywhere that's not here right now,” she said as she started walking towards the door, dragging him along behind her.

He followed her out to the school's courtyard where she flopped down on a bench and kicked off her shoes. He sat next to her and tentatively put an arm around her shoulders.

She leaned into him, her head on his shoulder, and sighed. “Thanks for coming, Zaeed. I'm really glad you're here.”

“Aren't graduations usually _happy_?” he asked after they'd sat in silence for a few minutes. “What's with the anger?”

She shook her head slightly. “Boys suck.”

He choked back a laugh. “Well, if that's the way you feel...”

She raised her head and gave him a bewildering look. “I said _boys_ , not men.”

He smirked. “Good to know. So whowas that jackass you were talking to?”

“My boyfriend, Tony,” she said softly, looking down at her hands. She didn't look or sound at all happy about it.

“No offense, Lucy, but anyone who puts _that_ look on your face isn't worth your goddamn time,” Zaeed said gently.

She nodded. “I know. I want to break up with him but I don't... I'm a little scared of how he might react.”

He frowned. “Has he ever hurt you?”

She shook her head. “No. But he's crazy jealous. He's not... _controlling_ , exactly, but probably only because he's terrified of Uncle Steven.” She sighed again. “Mostly, he's just-”

“Oh do tell us, Lucy,” a snide voice said from somewhere behind them. “What _am_ I?”

Lucy paled as she jumped up off of the bench and whirled around. Zaeed got up as well and stood close behind her but not touching her, as he watched Tony, who was glaring at them both.

“You are a fucking bully,” she said after a moment in what Zaeed thought was a surprisingly steady voice. “And we are _over_.”

Tony scoffed. “You can't be serious. You don't have the-”

“Is there a problem here?” Hackett asked as he came up to the group, glancing between Zaeed and Tony.

“No, no problem,” Lucy said between gritted teeth. “I was just saying _good-bye_ to Tony before Zaeed walked me home.”

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

She rolled her eyes as she bent down to pick up her shoes. “Because I asked him to, that's why.”

Hackett spun around to glare at Tony. “What the hell did you do to her?” he growled as Lucy and Zaeed started walking across the courtyard to the school's front gate.

* * *

As soon as they rounded the side of the building, Lucy leaned against a wall and sank to the ground. “That, breaking up with him, is going to bite me in the ass, I just know it.”

Zaeed crouched down beside her. “If he's really that bad, tell your uncle about it. You know whatever Tony is telling him is probably a lie.”

“I know.” She leaned her head against the wall. “But I'm leaving for Earth in a couple of weeks. After that, I don't have to worry about Tony anymore.”

“That's not the way the universe works.” He stood up and hauled her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they started walking again. “Let's get you home.”

By the time they were standing at her front door, Lucy's thoughts had wandered from Tony and how much of an ass he was to the man standing next her. He was saying something, but she didn't have a damn clue what it was. She was too busy staring at his lips to actually hear the words coming out of them. Suddenly, all her thoughts were focused on... what it would be like to kiss him.

“Lucy?”

She looked up into his eyes. “Hmm?”

“Is there a particular reason you've been staring at me for the past five minutes, with a look on your face that clearly says you haven't heard a bloody word I said?” he asked, pure amusement in his voice.

She blushed deeply and mumbled something unintelligible that even she didn't understand. She turned around and fumbled with the keypad by the door. Finally the door slid open and she stepped into the hallway. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her shoulder, only just remembering that Zaeed was still with her, a moment before he spun her back around to face him again.

Suddenly, he pulled her into his arms, tangled his fingers in her hair and crushed his lips against hers.

She gasped for breath when he finally pulled away. “What-”

He shook his head. “Sorry,” he said gruffly, releasing his hold on her hair and arms.

She raised an eyebrow. “Why? I'm not.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and grinned. “Kiss me again.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments! :)

“Have any plans for today?” Hackett asked casually as he sat across from Lucy at breakfast.

“I'm going up to the arcade this afternoon for my last shift and...” she trailed off as she read something on her omni-tool.

He frowned. “Something wrong, sweetheart?”

She shook her head in response as she stood up and ran from the room, her eyes filled with tears.

He waited a few moments before he got up and followed her. As he reached her room, he heard something softly hit the wall and fall to the floor. He knocked once to let her know he was there and then opened the door.

She was sitting on her bed, hugging her knees, staring off into the corner of the room. Her omni-tool was on the floor a short distance away.

He walked over and picked up her omni-tool before he sat on the edge of the bed. “What happened?” he asked as he tried to hand her the 'tool.

She pushed his hand away and rested her head on her knees. “Last night, right before you showed up, I'd told Tony that we were over. He was being a jerk at the reception and really he's always been like that and I was sick of it.”

Hackett had been wondering if that was what had happened. “And this morning?” he prompted after she'd fallen silent for several minutes.

“I was checking my e-mail and apparently he'd sent me one last night, right after you two finished your... chat.” She hugged her knees tighter and shivered. “He said he was the one who would decide when the relationship was over, not me. That he wasn't the least bit intimidated by you, which is crap, by the way. And then he described what he would do to me if he saw me with Zaeed again.”

“I knew that son of a bitch was no good,” Hackett muttered under his breath.

“Yes, so you've said several times since the first moment you met him. Wish I'd listened to you,” Lucy said ruefully as she leaned back and put her head on his shoulder. “What do I do? I don't trust that he won't do something even if I stayed away from Zaeed. Which I won't do anyway.”

“I figured as much. We're going to have to have a _discussion_ , young lady, about kissing where security cameras are present.” She gave him a horrified look and he smiled as he kissed the top of her head. “Later. Much later. For now, I am going to have a very different sort of _discussion_ with your ex-boyfriend.”

She followed him out when he walked back to the kitchen. “I don't want to stay here by myself. I know that probably sounds paranoid but Tony has a lot of friends. And I really wouldn't put it past him to have them _keep an eye on me_ if he knows I'm home alone.”

“Knowing what I do about him, no that doesn't sound paranoid at all.” Hackett raised an eyebrow. “Is this your way of asking if you can call Massani to be here while I'm out?”

“Um... no. That was my way of _telling_ you that I already did.”

He glanced down at the TCU tank top and purple and white argyle pajama pants she was wearing. “You're getting dressed before he gets here.”

She rolled her eyes.

“And he is under no circumstances to enter your bedroom.”

“Ugh. Why would you even _say_ something like that?” She stalked back to her room and spun around in the doorway. “It was one kiss. That's it.”

“I counted at least two, Lucy. Security cameras in the entrance hall, remember?”

She rolled her eyes again as the door slid shut.

* * *

By the time a full-dressed Lucy stepped back out into the living room fifteen minutes later, Zaeed had arrived. He and her uncle were sitting in chairs at opposite ends of the room, both looking decidedly pissed off. She walked over and sat down on the couch, tucking her legs up under herself and waited for one of them to say or do something.

After five minutes of complete silence, she'd had enough. “Uncle Steven, didn't you say something about going out to _discuss_ something with Tony?”

“I did. And I will. _After_ Massani understands that if he so much as-”

“Ugh. Enough.” Lucy hopped up off of the couch. Stopping by Zaeed's chair, she put a hand on his shoulder before turning back to face her uncle. “If you two want to sit here and bitch at each other, fine. When you want to _talk_ ,” she squeezed Zaeed's shoulder for emphasis, “let me know. I'm going out.”

She saw them exchange a brief look as she started to walk away. Zaeed reached up and grabbed the hand that was gripping his shoulder, using it to pull her into his lap. Hackett glared at them both.

Lucy smirked. “What? I'm not leaving am I?”

He sighed as he stood up. He pulled her off of Zaeed's lap and deposited her back on the couch. “No, you're not. I will be back... later. When I return we will discuss what happened here last night,” he added, once again glaring at Zaeed.

“Wait, before you go,” Lucy said, bringing up her omni-tool. “Let me send you the e-mail, so you'll know _exactly_ what you're... discussing... with Tony.”

The moment the front door was closed, Zaeed moved from the chair to sit next to Lucy on the couch.

“See? I told you breaking up with Tony would bite me in the ass,” she murmured after awhile, running her fingertips across the back of his hand.

He wrapped his arms around her. “You had no choice, Lucy. If you had stayed with him, there's a bloody good chance he would have done something to you.”

She leaned back against him and sighed. “I know. But there's no real guarantee he won't do something to me _now_.”

“There is, actually.” They looked back to see Hackett walking into the living room. “Hands to yourself, Massani.”

“What are you doing back so soon?” Lucy asked as she defiantly wrapped Zaeed's arms tighter around herself.

Hackett sighed but didn't try again to separate them. “Tony was in a bar fight late last night. There was an unlicensed gun involved and because they're all accusing each other of owning it, the whole lot of them are in lock-up for at least a few days.”

“Did you actually see him?”

“I did, but I didn't speak with him. Wouldn't have done any good anyway. He was still so drunk, he probably wouldn't have remembered anything I said.”

“Probably won't listen to anything you say when you do talk to him,” she muttered bitterly.

“You may be right, but I'm still going to try.” Hackett sat in the chair he had occupied earlier. “Now about last night...”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment and kudos :)
> 
> tw: abusive relationship

“Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, your boyfriend stopped by while you were doing your last exam.”

Lucy glanced up from the book she was reading to stare at her roommate, surprised the girl had even spoken to her. It was a _rare_ occurrence. “My... boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend, Brandi.” It was true. While they'd gone on a couple of dinner dates and he'd rescued her from that one supremely boring Alliance fundraiser her uncle had dragged her to just before she'd left for college, Lucy and Zaeed had decided they weren't dat _ing_. Yet.

Brandi shrugged indifferently.

“What did he look like?”

“Basically tall, dark and _so_ hot,” Brandi gushed. “Looked like he could be a model.”

_Tony. Had to be. Shit._ “That's... my ex.”

“Poor baby,” Brandi said in a mocking tone. “Did he dump you?”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “No, I dumped him.”

Brandi raised an eyebrow. “You broke up with _that_? Are you stupid?”

“Stupid if I'd stayed with him. Did he say anything, like why he's here?”

“Yeah, he said he'd meet you at the coffee shop, that he'd have your usual order waiting.”

Lucy paled.

“Now meeting for coffee freaks you out?” Brandi shook her head. “Hey, if you don't want to go, I'll go.”

“You want to date him, be my guest,” Lucy said as she looked through her closet, trying to find something to wear that might turn Tony _off_. She knew it wouldn't work but it was worth a shot anyway. “Some stuff you should know about him before you go try to fuck his brains out though.”

“Like what? Is he a stalker or something?”

Lucy gave her a pained smile. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Seriously?” Brandi narrowed her eyes. “You're not just saying this to keep me away from him, are you?”

Lucy shook her head. “I broke up with him more than six months ago, and yet he still refers to himself as my boyfriend. What's that tell you?”

“That he's a psycho.”

“Exactly.” Lucy exchanged the tank top she'd worn to her exam for a long-sleeved henley t-shirt that was only slightly less formfitting. The coffee shop was always a little chilly. “All right, I'm ready. How do I look?”

“Like a girl who claims she's not stupid but is still going to meet a psycho for coffee,” Brandi said with a wink. She raised an eyebrow. “You sure about this?”

“It's just the coffee shop. Nothing bad is gonna happen,” Lucy said, her voice sounding a lot more sure than she felt.

“Famous last words,” Brandi muttered as Lucy walked out the door. “Good luck.”

* * *

“Aren't you supposed to be in New York?” Lucy asked warily as she sat across from Tony. “Why are you here?”

He shrugged. “I had the weekend off, thought I'd come visit you.”

“Okay, first of all, it's Tuesday. Second of all, I thought I made it perfectly clear I didn't want to see you ever again.”

“And yet, here you are.”

“ _You_ came to see _me_ first.” It was a weak argument and they both knew it. She took a sip of her coffee and tried again. “How did you even find out where I go to school?”

No matter what he said, she knew that he'd known for awhile. _He_ may have just gotten into town, but she knew for a fact he'd had some of his friends from the old days watching her since she'd arrived in Fort Worth in August. Well, _now_ she knew for a fact. Before, it had just been a strong suspicion. But when Brandi had said he'd have her _usual order_ waiting, she knew.

It had started around the third week of school, when she'd come into the coffee shop one morning to find someone had already ordered for her. She'd played it off as a random act of kindness until it happened every day for a week. Then she'd changed her order, to see if whoever was doing this would noticed.

They had.

After a couple of weeks, they'd stopped, but even two and a half months later, Lucy continued to change up her order every few days just in case. And yet, when she'd come in a few minutes ago, Tony had what he'd said was _this week's_ usual order waiting. She'd promptly dumped it in the trash and ordered something else. Not a chance in hell she was drinking anything Tony had touched. There was a 99.99% chance he'd drugged it.

She glanced at him over the top of her cup. He still hadn't answered her question. “Well? Who the fuck did you pay off to find out where I was?”

“You weren't exactly in _hiding_ , babe.” He shook his head with a laugh. “But I didn't _pay anyone off_.”

“Bullshit. And stop calling me babe.”

“You may think the worst of me, but I swear, I didn't go hunting for you.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

“Look. A guy I know works for the company that installed the security cameras in your uncle's apartment and-”

Lucy shuddered. “Gross.”

Tony sighed. “Will you let me finish?”

“Fine.”

“Apparently there was some problem with all of their systems over the summer, so they were going around doing maintenance in every place that had their cameras. Davis just happened to be the one who was assigned to your uncle's place.”

“And? You still haven't gotten to the part that doesn't make me want to scrub all my skin off. Any friend of yours-”

“He's not one of _those_ friends, Luce.”

“ _Those friends_ being the ones you have keeping tabs on me, following me around, even here?”

Tony sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Yes.”

“So you admit you're a creep.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. I admit I'm a creep,” he said sarcastically. “You're still the one who willingly came to meet me.”

“And that was a mistake,” Lucy said as she got up to leave.

He put a firm hand on top of hers. “Wait. Please. All I wanted to do was talk to you.”

“Then you should have called,” she snapped, trying to free her hand.

“You wouldn't have answered.” His grip tightened slightly. “Just sit and let's talk, okay?”

* * *

Brandi sat cross-legged on the end of her bed and stared at Lucy. “You're going on a _date_ with him?” she asked incredulously. “After you lectured me on how much of a creep he was?”

“It's not a date. He wants to _talk_ over dinner.”

“That's a date, sweetie. And I thought that's why he wanted to get coffee.”

“It was,” Lucy said, her head once again buried in her closet, looking for something to wear.

_Stupid ever-changing Texas weather._

“So what happened?”

“We didn't get past him trying to justify how he found out where I was.” Lucy pulled out a black over-sized cable-knit sweater and held it up for Brandi to judge.

“That'd be cute with jeans.” She frowned. “And? How _did_ he find out?”

Lucy crouched down to inspect her shoes. “One of his friends was apparently _legitimately_ in my uncle's apartment while I was on vacation, recognized me in a couple of pictures and saw the TCU stuff scattered all over the place. He just _happened_ to mention it to Tony the next time they talked. Tony never did tell me how he found out I was in Hawaii at the time.”

“Okay, that may be one of the creepiest things I've ever heard.” Brandi shuddered. “Why the hell would you want to talk to him more?”

Lucy shrugged. No way in hell she was ever going to say it out loud, but a very tiny part of her had missed him. Not that she wanted to start dating him again. She was _not_ going down that road ever again.

“You know you _did_ say that out loud, right?” Brandi asked with concern.

_Shit._

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Lucy replied, sitting on her own bed to pull on a pair of stiletto ankle boots.

“Fine, live in denial. But be careful, all right?”

Lucy nodded. “I'll be fine.”

* * *

“Winslow's? Really?” Lucy crossed her arms. “You really think I'm stupid enough to go to a _wine bar_ with you?”

Tony held up a hand. “I won't drink. I swear. Scout's honor.”

She rolled her eyes. “You were never in the scouts. And what's the point of going to a bar if you're not drinking? _I'm_ not drinking, you know that.”

He shrugged. “Dunno. What's the point in picking a steakhouse and then ordering chicken? And yet you did that _every time_.”

“Bite me. And that's so not the same thing.” She took a step back from the door. “I dunno, Tony.”

“Come on. They have incredible food.” He held out a hand to her. “It'll be worth it, I promise. And I will be on my best behavior.”

“That's such a comforting thought.” She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But I'm gonna regret this, I just know it,” she muttered as she reluctantly took his hand and they walked into the bar.

Even on a Tuesday, Winslow's was exceptionally busy. By the time they finally got seated, Lucy was beginning to relax a bit. She even let her guard down enough to sit next to Tony instead of across from him at the table.

She knew she was playing with fire, but she kept ignoring the warnings in her head telling her that something was wrong. He was every bit as sweet and charming as he'd been when they'd first started dating. It was as if the jealous asshole she'd broken up with six months ago was gone, though she knew he was still there, lurking just under the surface.

“So, what exactly did you want to talk about?” she asked after they'd finished their meal and were waiting on dessert.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. “Us.”

“There is no _us_ , Tony,” she said quietly. “Not anymore.”

“There will _always_ be an us, babe.” He used his free hand to cup her face, running his thumb across her lips as he leaned in closer. “Always.”

Lucy was saved from the inevitable kiss by a beep on her omni-tool. A vid-chat hail from Zaeed. She'd all but forgotten he was supposed to be picking her up for Christmas break in all of about 12 hours. And, despite having watched Brandi doing it for the last two days during study breaks, she'd also forgotten to pack.

“Who is it?” Tony asked, his voice laced with suspicion. He'd obviously seen the relief that had crossed her face when the call came in.

“Uncle Steven,” she lied. “I... I gotta go, Tony. Thanks for dinner.” In one smooth motion, she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, which she knew she'd regret later, and swiftly made for the door before he could stop her.

She didn't get far up the street before he caught up to her.

“Finished chatting already?” he asked as he grabbed her wrist with an iron grip.

She nodded wordlessly. She'd ignored Zaeed's vid-chat entirely and sent him a text instead: _you may have been right about how the universe works_ _._

“So how is dear old Uncle Steven? Looking forward to you coming home for the holidays?”

“Leave me alone, Tony. I have to get back and study.”

He shoved her up against a wall. “That vid-chat wasn't really from the Admiral was it? It was from Massani!”

“So what if it was?” The steadiness of her voice was belied by the racing of her heartbeat. “I told you six months ago, Tony. You and I are _over_.”

“And I told you what I would do to you if I saw you and Massani together.”

“We're not together and you've never _seen_ us together.”

“Maybe not yet, but I'm sure if I stick around, I will tomorrow.” He pressed his body up against hers and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Have a good night, _babe_.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

 

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: San Diego_
> 
> _From: Zaeed_
> 
> _To: Lucy_
> 
> _20:46 Z: Are you okay?_
> 
> _20:48 L: Depends on your definition of okay._
> 
> _20:49 Z: What happened with Tony? Is he there right now?_
> 
> _20:52 L: No. And it's... too long to explain on chat._
> 
> _20:53 L: I'll tell you everything when you get here._
> 
> _20:55 Z: Are you safe?_
> 
> _20:59 L: I'm sitting in the closet of my locked dorm room. What do you think?_
> 
> _21:01 Z: That I should get there faster._
> 
> _21:04 L: I'll be fine. I still have to pack anyway._
> 
> _21:05 Z: Cutting it a bit fine, don't you think?_
> 
> _21:06 L: Shush._
> 
> _21:10 Z: I'll be there first thing in the morning._
> 
> _21:11 L: I'll try to stay alive 'til then._
> 
> _21:12 Z: That's not even a little bit goddamn funny._
> 
> _21:13 L: I know. I'm sorry. It's been a long day._
> 
> _21:14 Z: I'll see you in a few hours._
> 
> _21:14 User has disconnected._

* * *

 “You didn't sleep at all last night, did you?” Zaeed asked as he attempted to help Lucy finish packing. The third time she swatted his hand away, he gave up and flopped down on her bed to _observe_ instead.

“Not really, no.” She tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. “How'd you know?”

He shrugged. “You look hungover, like you went on a bloody pub crawl. But you don't drink.”

“ _I_ didn't drink, no. But Brandi sure as hell did.” She shook her head. “Most of the night, I felt like I was back on Mindoir during the raid, jumping at every little sound. With all the activity going on here last night, Tony could have easily gotten into the building if he'd wanted to. Didn't help when Brandi came crashing through the door and passed out on the floor. Scared the hell out of me. I spent the rest of the night making sure she didn't choke on her own puke.”

“Where is she now?”

“One of her dads came by to pick her up a couple of hours ago. He took us out to breakfast before they left. The three cups of coffee I had are the only reason I'm not completely dead on my feet right now.”

“So you say. You look like you could pass out at any second.”

“I'll sleep on the ride home.” She zipped up her suitcase. “I'm done. Let's go.”

“Have you told you uncle what happened with Tony?” Zaeed asked, already knowing the answer was _no_ , as he got up and hauled the suitcase off of the bed.

“Not yet. But I will. Told Brandi's dad though. He's a cop. Both are, actually.”

“Here in town?”

Lucy nodded. “Yeah. Brandi could easily live at home instead of the dorms if she wanted to.”

“So what did he say?”

She shrugged. “He said I had a strong case for a restraining order.”

“So you're going to file for one, yes?” he asked as pulled out into the traffic headed for the spaceport, again knowing the answer was _no_.

“What's the point?” She shifted to get more comfortable in the seat. “A restraining order isn't going to stop Tony. That's just not how he operates. He gets other people to do the dirty work for him.”

“At some point, he _will_ step up his game and come after you personally.”

“I know. I think he probably would have yesterday if I'd refused to go see him at the coffee shop.” She sighed and rubbed her fingers over her bruised wrist. “And I think I was damn lucky to get away from him last night.” She glanced over at Zaeed. “Remind me never to be that stupid again.”

He shook his head. “That wasn't your fault, Lucy. That was Tony being manipulative, turning on the charm to make you forget how much of a goddamn sleazy bastard he is.”

She nodded slightly, but the look in her eyes told him that she didn't quite believe it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments, kudos, etc. :)

“What the bloody-” Zaeed cut off a prepared rant at whoever had been trying to bang down his hotel room door when he found Hackett standing on the other side, looking exceptionally worried.

The Admiral stalked past him into the room. “We... may have a problem.”

Zaeed quickly closed and locked the door. “Problem with what?”

“Lucy.”

“What's wrong?”

“She told me she was going to a movie with Jeff Moreau.” Hackett began pacing the room. “I was happy to hear it. She hadn't been out of the apartment since the day you two arrived on the station. She'd spent all of her time obsessing and worrying over Tony.”

“Okay, not hearing the problem yet,” Zaeed said casually, though he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what was coming next.

“I got a call from Jeff about ten minutes ago, telling me that he'd gone into the theater to get seats while Lucy waited in line for their snacks. When she hadn't come into the theater after about fifteen minutes, he went out looking for her and saw her talking to someone he thought looked a lot like Tony.”

_Shit._

Hackett must have seen the look on Zaeed's face, because the next second, the bounty hunter found himself slammed up against the wall, Hackett's arm pressing against his throat. “You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?” he growled.

“No, I didn't,” Zaeed snapped, pushing Hackett away. He shook his head. “I'm sorry. I remember her talking in her sleep when we were on our way here, but I didn't actually expect her to act on it. She was a goddamn wreck that day.”

Hackett rounded on him again. “If _anything_ happens to her-”

“If anything happens to her, it will be Tony's fault, not mine.” Zaeed clenched and unclenched his fist a few times to keep from putting a hole in the wall beside Hackett's head. “Did Jeff say anything else?” he asked as he walked towards the door, not bothering to find out if the Admiral was following him.

“He said he was too far away to hear what they were saying but it looked like the conversation was friendly enough, for a conversation that involves Tony.”

“Well, that's something anyway,” Zaeed muttered, pacing in front of the elevator.

Hackett swore as he glanced down when his omni-tool beeped. “Dammit. Apparently they left and Jeff followed as long as he could, but lost them in the crowd after awhile.”

They exited the elevator and walked swiftly to Hackett's skycar.

“So where the hell are we going?” Zaeed asked as the car took off.

“If this is Lucy's plan to get rid of him for good,” Hackett said. “She would find it poetic if it happened at the arcade, which is where they met. Same goes for him. I can see him trying to use happy memories of their time together to do that.”

“Sick bastard,” Zaeed growled. “Should have just taken him out somewhere and shot him or dumped him in a deep crater. Drive faster.”

* * *

_This was just about the dumbest idea you've ever had_ , Lucy thought as she walked out of the arcade with Tony. She'd been surprised when he'd agreed to go where she wanted, though she shouldn't have been surprised when they didn't stay long. “Where are we going now?” she asked, hoping to keep the apprehension out of her voice.

“Somewhere special,” Tony replied as he tugged on her hand, pulling her closer and silently urging her to stop dragging her feet.

_Great. I'm gonna die._

They walked along in silence for awhile, Tony presumably knowing exactly where they were meant to be going. Suddenly, he pulled her down an alleyway between two shops.

Lucy dug in her heels and attempted to pull her hand from his grasp. “Seriously, Tony. Where the fuck are we going? I agreed to go out with you because I thought we were going to do something fun like we used to. That's why I wanted to go to the arcade.”

Tony swung around to face her, tightening his grip on her hand. “Oh, we _are_ going to have fun, babe.” He pulled her in close against his body and leered at her. “ _Trust me_ ,” he whispered as he slowly backed her up against a wall, still awkwardly holding her one hand tightly as his other hand started sliding up her side under her shirt.

“Tony, stop it.” She tried to move away from him as she pushed his hand away.

He chuckled darkly. “Admit it babe, you missed this. You missed _me_.” He tightened his hold on her hand again and moved his free hand back to where it had been but started moving it in the opposite direction, towards her jeans.

“Stop it,” she repeated, more forcefully, again pushing his hand away.

His expression hardened and he backhanded her across the face. Hard. “I am through playing games with you, babe,” he growled, bringing the hand down to wrap around her throat.

Lucy panicked at how quickly he had snapped. She knew she had to do something before things escalated further.

Before he could say or do anything else, she slammed her head into his face, their height difference meaning the force of the blow was directed at his nose. A second later, there was a sickening crack as Tony, whether consciously or subconsciously, squeezed her hand to the breaking point before releasing it to tend to his face.

Running on adrenaline, Lucy ignored the pain and took advantage of his distractedness to plant her knee in his groin. He immediately fell to his knees and doubled over on the ground, mumbling incoherently.

She moved a few feet away from him and settled on the ground with her back against a nearby wall. She opened her omni-tool and sent a brief message to Jeff, telling him where she'd ended up and to send somebody to help. No way she was going anywhere without assistance anytime soon. The adrenaline was wearing off and the pain in her hand was quickly becoming unbearable. And she supposed, though he definitely deserved worse, it would be cruel to just leave Tony lying in the alley. But if it was Zaeed who came, that's probably what his vote would be anyway.

After what seemed an eternity but probably wasn't more than ten minutes, Lucy heard running footsteps headed in the direction of the alley. She turned her head just as her uncle and Zaeed came running around the corner. They immediately stopped in their tracks at the sight of Tony, still whimpering and lying motion-less on the ground.

After a moment, they seemed to regain their senses and stepped over to Lucy, standing on either side of her to carefully help her to her feet.

She shook her head with a tired laugh as she looked at the confusion still evident on their faces. “What? Did you think Kevin, overprotective brother that he was, never taught me self-defense?” She glanced over at Tony and sighed. “Wish I'd done that a week and a half ago. Could have saved myself a lot of pain. Merry fucking Christmas to me.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments, kudos etc. :)

“Is this what it feels like to be drunk?” Lucy asked, sitting on a barstool in Hackett's kitchen. “If it is, I don't like it.”

Zaeed looked up from plating the pizza they'd picked up on the way back from the hospital. “Never had prescription meds before?”

She shook her head slightly. “No, never had a need for them. Fell off the back of a motorcycle when I was 10, but all I need was a few stitches here,” she said, pointing to a long scar he'd noticed before on the back of her left forearm. “No prescription pain meds required.”

“A motorcycle?” He raised an eyebrow. “Who the bloody hell puts a kid on the back of a motorcycle?”

“Kevin.” She folded her arms on the counter and rested her head on them. “It was pretty soon after he'd moved back home, after Mom died. He and Dad got into a huge fight over something and Kevin stormed out, decided he needed to go for a ride to clear his head.”

Zaeed shook his head and muttered _irresponsible bastard_ and a few choice curses under his breath before he said, “And he took you along because...”

“Because I asked him to.” She sighed. “Back then, Dad stayed home to get drunk and I hated it. That fight was the first emotion I'd seen out of him other than depression in a long time and I didn't want to be around to see what he looked like as an angry drunk.” She shook her head. “It wasn't Kevin's fault, Z. I was a master of the puppy dog pout and he was incapable of saying no to me. So will you please stop trying to think of ways to resurrect him just so you can maim him for it?”

He rolled his eyes as he rounded the counter, carrying a plate in each hand. “I make no promises.”

He noticed she was somewhat unsteady on her feet as she followed him into the living room before she collapsed face-first on the couch.

He put the plates down and sat on the coffee table, looking at her with concern. “You okay?”

She turned her head and gave him a small smile. “I'm just tired. It's been a... long day and it's past my bedtime.”

It was lie and they both knew it. It was much more than just being tired, but it was obvious she didn't want to talk about it so he left it alone. For the moment.

“You need to eat. Otherwise, that _drunk_ feeling is only gonna get worse and you'll wake up with a goddamn hangover.”

She sighed melodramatically as she slowly sat up. “Fine, have it your way. On one condition.”

“What's that?” he asked, handing her a plate.

She took the plate and looked him in the eye. “Don't leave when I go to sleep.”

He moved to sit next to her on the couch. “I'm not going anywhere until I know you're okay.”

“Then you may be here for awhile,” she said quietly, picking at a piece of sausage on her pizza.

He leaned over and gently pressed his lips to her forehead. “That is not a problem.”

* * *

“Anybody home?” Hackett called when he finally trudged through the front door. He frowned when he didn't get a response. He was sure he'd heard voices in the living room. “Hello?”

He walked down the hall and into the living room to find that the voices he'd heard were from the TV. _Blasto Saves Christmas_? He shook his head. No wonder it appeared both Lucy and Zaeed were asleep. He didn't know anyone over the age of six who could stand to watch the whole thing. As he sat in the recliner and found the remote to change the channel, he heard a muttered “Oh thank God” from the couch.

Zaeed shifted carefully to avoid waking Lucy and looked over at Hackett. “If I had to listen to one more minute of that bloody hanar saying _this one will bring peace_ , I was going to lose my goddamn mind.” He raised an eyebrow. “What happened with Tony?”

Hackett switched off the TV and turned to face the couch. “That slimy son of a bitch tried to claim she attacked him without any provocation whatsoever.” He tossed the remote aside. “When we made him watch the security tapes from the alley, he claimed they must have been doctored. I swear, I nearly slugged him.”

“Why the hell didn't you?” Zaeed growled.

“Didn't need to. His father did it for me.” Hackett shook his head. “Let me tell you, I have _never_ seen someone go from a look of arrogance to pure fear so fast as Tony did when Major Carlson stepped into that room.”

Zaeed looked skeptical.

“The Major was a SpecOps agent after the war. I suspect that's where Tony learned how to manipulate people.” Hackett held up a hand when Zaeed started to speak. “But I have no idea why he would have ever thought to use those _skills_ in his personal relationships. Because obviously it wasn't just with Lucy. He uses his friends as well.”

“He could have easily learned that at home.” Zaeed sounded bitter, as if he were speaking from personal experience.

Hackett shook his head. “I never knew Tony until the first time Lucy brought him home from work one day, but I've known his parents for probably fifteen years. The Carlsons have one of the happiest and healthiest marriages I've ever seen, especially in a military setting.”

“You never know what goes on behind closed doors.” Zaeed clenched his jaw for a moment and then glanced back at Hackett. “So? What's actually going to happen to the jackass?”

“He's not leaving the brig anytime soon, that much I know for certain.” Hackett frowned. “Are you all right?”

“Fine. Why?”

“No reason.” Hackett sighed heavily as he stood up. “I'm going to bed. I assume you're staying?”

Zaeed looked surprised for a moment before nodding once. “I promised Lucy I wouldn't leave until I knew she was okay.”

“Good.”

“I'm sorry, did you just say _good_?”

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “Did you _want_ me to say something else? Look, Lucy likes and trusts you. Hell if I can figure out _why_ , but the fact that she does is enough for me.” He narrowed his eyes at the mercenary. “Break that trust and I will break _you_.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments, kudos, etc. :)

The first week back at school had been fun if a little stressful and Lucy was looking forward to the weekend. Zaeed had helped her move back into her dorm and then gone down to Mexico for a _job_ but said he'd be back in town before the end of the week if all went well.

She  hadn't dwelt on what he might have meant by any part of that statement. 

Friday morning, he'd sent her a message saying he was done and would be back in Texas that night. Now she was nervously rifling through her closet, trying to find the perfect outfit to wear to dinner,  with  her roommate providing commentary, as usual . 

“This seems very _familiar_.” Lucy could hear the concern in Brandi's voice.

She  finally  stepped out of  the closet  in a blue  short -sleeve sweater dress and gray leggings . “In that I'm going on a date you mean? Yes, sweetie. People  _do_ that.”

Brandi sighed. “First of all, you swore up and down that last time it wasn't a date. Second of all-”

“Second of all, nothing,” Lucy snapped. She sat down on her bed to awkwardly pull on a pair of black knee-high boots. It had been a little over three weeks and she still wasn't all that greatat doing things with the cast on her hand. “Zaeed is not Tony. Period.”

“Are you sure?”

Lucy didn't hesitate with her answer. “Yes.”

A knock on the door interrupted whatever Brandi's reply would have been. She got up to answer it and inhaled sharply.

Lucy looked up and saw why. Zaeed was standing in the doorway wearing a white dress shirt, dark-wash jeans and black motorcycle boots.

_Damn._

Brandi took a step towards him. “Hi. I'm Brandi. You must be-”

“Not available for questioning,” Lucy growled, quickly pocketing her pain meds as she grabbed her leather jacket and walked to the door. “I'll be back later. Behave. And don't drink too much. I won't be here to hold your hair if you start puking again.”

Brandi rolled her eyes. “Yes, mother.”

* * *

“So where are we going?” Lucy asked as she looped her arm through Zaeed's while they waited for a skycab.

He shrugged. “Your choice, sweetheart. This is your town.”

“Actually, _my_ town is thirty miles that way,” she said, gesturing off towards the east. She laughed when he rolled his eyes at her. “But I won't make you go that far for dinner. There's a great little Italian place not far from here.”

* * *

> _Text Chat_
> 
> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Brandi_
> 
> _20:48 L: This is not going well._
> 
> _20:50 B: Why? What's wrong?_
> 
> _20:51 L: Your dads._
> 
> _20:52 B: What? Oh shit._
> 
> _20:53 L: Yeah. We ran into them at Cafe Bella._
> 
> _20:54 L: Our date has turned into an interrogation._
> 
> _20:55 B: I am so sorry._
> 
> _20:56 B: They mean well, they've just been cops so long, they don't know how to turn it off._
> 
> _20:56 B: Plus they like you._
> 
> _20:58 L: I know they mean well. But... Zaeed isn't exactly what you'd call law enforcement-friendly._
> 
> _20:59 L: He avoids interacting with them whenever possible. He does seem to be holding his own for now though._
> 
> _21:02 B: Just be thankful you're not their daughter, bringing home your first date at 16._
> 
> _21:03 L: Considering I started dating Tony when I was 16, I'm kinda wishing I had been._
> 
> _21:04 B: Fair point._
> 
> _21:04 B: Tell them you're late for a movie or something. They'll back off. Probably._
> 
> _21:05 L: Thanks._
> 
> _ 21:07  L: We  are almost late for our movie. We switched times because of how long it took us to even get seated here. So um... I may not be back tonight. _
> 
> _21:09 B: If you want to get out of that restaurant within the next millennium, don't mention that to them._
> 
> _21:10 L: Duh._
> 
> _21:11 B: And be good._
> 
> _21:11 L: You too. I'll see you tomorrow._
> 
> _21:13 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

With a well-timed “emergency text” from Brandi, Lucy and Zaeed were finally able to escape the interrogation and just made it to the movie on time. But it turned out not to matter; the movie was dull and they left halfway through.

“Wait just a fucking second.” Lucy narrowed her eyes at Zaeed as their skycab pulled up in front of an apartment building twenty minutes later. “You _live_ here? I thought you were staying in a hotel.”

He shook his head with a laugh at her indignation. “I have an apartment, but no, I don't live here. I have an apartment or a safe house in several cities on Earth and a few other places.”

“So where _do_ you live?” she asked as they rode the elevator to the fourth floor.

“I...” He frowned. He'd never thought about it. He hadn't really ever stayed in one place for long; even the Suns moved their base too often to ever really settle into one. “I don't know,” he admitted after a moment. “I go wherever a job takes me. If I find myself coming back to a city often enough or staying there long enough, I'll buy a place.”

The elevator stopped on his floor and they walked in silence to his apartment.

He turned to her before opening the door. “I haven't been here in awhile, a few months at least. I need to check to –”

“To make sure there's no bad guys hiding in the closet or under the bed?” she interrupted with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes. “Yes.” He punched in the code and the door slid open. “Stay. I'll be back in a minute.” He silenced her next comment with a kiss. “I know you're more than capable of taking care of yourself. Just... I don't want to see you get hurt on my watch, okay?”

She nodded and he went inside. He came back five minutes later to find her leaning up against the wall across from his door, twirling and twisting a butterfly knife between the fingers of her uninjured hand.

“No bad guys?”

He shook his head. “Where'd you get the knife?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You don't remember? You gave it to me for Christmas.”

“I did? I –”

“A year ago.” She folded the knife and stowed it in her boot as she pushed off the wall and walked into the apartment.

“Right.” He remembered giving her a knife, he just hadn't recognized it. He also remembered giving her a few lessons on how to use it most effectively. Apparently, she'd been practicing since then. “How long you been carrying that thing?” he asked as he locked the door behind him.

“Since the day you decided I'd learned enough not to accidentally stab myself.”

He helped her take her jacket off and tossed it on a chair. “I taught you well then.”

He didn't like the glint in her eyes when she said, “Let's find out how much I remember.”

He shook his head. “I'm going on record to say that this is a _bad_ idea.”

“That's not a no, Massani,” she said, pulling the knife out of her boot but leaving it closed. “I promise not to hurt you _too_ much.”

_Bloody infuriating woman._

“All right,” he growled as he cracked his neck. “Let's do this.”

Five minutes later, Zaeed was in a daze, lying flat on his back, wondering where the hell Lucy had learned _that_ move. Clearly he'd been duped.

She collapsed on the floor beside him and answered his questioning look with one word. “Kevin.”

Of course. He should have known. Kevin had taught her self-defense and how to handle a gun. The basics of it anyway. It followed to reason he would have taught her how to use a goddamn knife.

“So why did you fake your way through all those lessons? You clearly didn't need me to teach you anything.”

She rolled over on her side and traced her fingers along the scar that took up most of his right cheek. “I thought it was obvious,” she said after a moment. “It was the only way I could think of to spend a lot of time with you without Uncle Steven going all bug-eyed, since I was underage at the time.”

He tugged her closer so she was curled up against him. “I seem to recall he was still less than pleased.”

“That was a _little_ about you because he just doesn't like you.” She laid her head on his chest. “But I think he was also afraid that if I ended up liking weapons too much, I'd skip out on going to college and join the Alliance after graduation.”

“Would that really have been such a bad thing?”

“In his eyes, yes. He saw what it did to my dad, to Kevin. He didn't want me to end up like them. And to be honest, I didn't either. Especially my dad.”

Zaeed sat up and leaned against the side of the couch, pulling her with him so she ended up sitting in his lap. “So what changed your mind about joining?”

He couldn't believe it had taken him this long to actually ask that question. She'd sent him a message the day after New Year's saying that she'd gone to the recruitment office on Arcturus, with the proviso that she wouldn't go to boot camp until after the end of the semester. She still needed time for her hand to heal properly.

“If I'm honest, it's been awhile coming. I didn't want to skip college altogether, so I went along with it, but my heart wasn't in it anymore. I didn't want to be an historian. I wanted to help people and the best way I could do that was join the Alliance.”

“So, you want to be _in_ the history books, not write them.”

She grinned. “Something like that.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments, kudos, etc. :)

Lucy was more than a little thankful that she'd had the foresight to spend all of her free time during spring semester in the gym. She knew she wouldn't have lasted long, if at all, at boot camp otherwise. She'd always had an athletic build, born of years playing softball back on Mindoir. But most of the others in her recruit class outweighed her by at least 30 pounds.

She'd made _no_ friends among her fellow recruits. They all thought she was pretentious because she didn't drink and spent her down time trying to finish her college education. She'd given up trying to explain _why_ she didn't drink.

It also didn't help that she was top of the class in just about everything. The male recruits seemed especially affronted that a _girl_ could out-shoot them, particularly with sniper rifles. But Lucy suspected if it had been one of the _other_ female recruits who'd beaten their scores, the guys wouldn't have batted a fucking eyelash. They'd probably have thought it was sexy.

> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Uncle Steven_
> 
> _Subj: I'm Fine_
> 
> _You can stop worrying all the time. Seriously. Stop it. It's annoying._
> 
> _But thanks for the cookies. Still didn't help me make any friends but that just meant more goodies for me._
> 
> _See you in a couple of weeks for graduation?_
> 
> _-Lucy_

 

> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Zaeed_
> 
> _Subj: Graduation_
> 
> _If you have any feelings for me at all, you will make sure you're at my boot camp graduation. I am going to hunt you down if you make me spend the entire time with Uncle Steven._
> 
> _-Lucy_

 

> _From: Zaeed_
> 
> _To: Lucy_
> 
> _Subj: re: Graduation_
> 
> _Yeah, I'll be there. Got a couple of bounties to square away, but they won't take long. I'll be back in plenty of time. God forbid you have to talk to other people._
> 
> _-Z_

* * *

Hackett surprised Lucy at graduation by bringing the Moreaus along; Jeff had even gotten a pass from flight school to attend as well.

"Looks like I wasn't entirely necessary after all," Zaeed said with a wink as he wrapped his arms around her. "Guess I'll just –"

She lightly tugged on his hair and pulled him down into a heated kiss. "Don't you fucking dare."

"Oi, Hilary doesn't need to see you two going at it like animals." She pulled away and turned to see Jeff walking over with a little girl toddling along beside him.

She raised an eyebrow and shook her head. " _Going at it like animals_? Does your mother know you talk like that around your baby sister?" She crouched down in front of the three-year-old. "You remember me, cutie?"

Hilary nodded. "Loothie."

"That's right." Lucy noticed Hilary's eyes widen as she looked at a point behind her. She followed the girl's gaze and grinned. "And that's Zaeed."

"Zeed." She leaned forward to whisper in Lucy's ear. "Is he your boyfriend?"

It wasn't a _quiet_ whisper.

Lucy smiled as she glanced back up at Zaeed. "Yes."

Hilary seemed to be considering both of them carefully. Finally she asked, "Are you gon' marry him?"

Jeff coughed to cover his laughter as Zaeed choked on his drink and Lucy blushed furiously. It was a long moment before she found her voice again. "I don't –"

" _There_ you are." Mrs. Moreau was walking across the courtyard. She took Hilary by the hand. "Come on, little one. It's time for your nap."

Hilary dug in her feet and complained loudly as her mother dragged her towards a skycab, Jeff following close behind.

"I am so sorry," Lucy said quietly, looking at the ground in front of her instead of at Zaeed. "She wasn't this chatty last time I went home. To me anyway."

He held out a hand to help her up and wrapped his arms around her. "Nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart."

"I just... we haven't been dating that long, only a few months," she said, still not looking at him. "It's _way_ too soon to think about that. We haven't even said –"

He stopped her rambling with another kiss. She was relieved; she hated talking about _feelings_ , but usually once she got started, she couldn't stop.

She leaned her head against his chest. "Thank you."

"You have any time off before you head out?" he asked after they'd stood in silence for a few minutes.

"Couple of days, yeah. Why?"

Before he could answer, Hackett and Anderson joined them and the topic turned to what she could expect at Officer Candidate School.

* * *

> _From: Jeff Moreau_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: My Sister_
> 
> … _is still asking inappropriate questions about you and Massani. My parents are less than amused._
> 
> _I'm sorry about that by the way. Hope things didn't go all awkward for you after that._
> 
> _Anyway, good luck at OCS._
> 
> _-J_

* * *

Officer training was no less frustrating friendship-wise than boot camp had been, but Lucy didn't care anymore. Everyone was too busy to socialize during the week anyway, and they all made themselves pretty scarce at the weekends.

For her part, Lucy spent nearly all of her free time with Zaeed. Where Tony had been a bully, pushing her to do whatever _he_ wanted to do when he wanted to do it, Zaeed was unbelievably patient. He was content just to be with her, not be _seen_ with her. The more time they spent together, the less afraid she became of whatever might be in their future. Even marriage. Eventually.

* * *

> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Zaeed_
> 
> _Subj: Shore Leave_
> 
> _I've finally got real shore leave, that's longer than two days. Two whole weeks before I head to my first post, a patrol unit out near the border with the Terminus._
> 
> _Since I know I likely won't get any more time off for awhile, and therefore will miss the 5 year anniversary, I'm heading to Mindoir for a couple of days first. Let me know when you're free, if you want to do anything after that. Otherwise, I'll probably be at my uncle's place the rest of the two weeks, staying as far from Hilary Moreau as possible._
> 
> _-Lucy_


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments, kudos, etc.

“Are you certain this is something she wants?” Hackett asked, not for the first time.

“I don't...” Zaeed absently rubbed the scar on his face. “We've talked before, in very broad terms and far off dates, about possibly getting married someday. But no, I don't know for certain that she will say yes.”

“And have you told her about you and Vido?”

“No. I just... never found the right time. That's not exactly something someone brings up in the course of a normal conversation.”

“You have to tell her. You realize being married to you would put a huge target on her back, right?”

“I know. Just being in a relationship up to this point has done that.” Zaeed raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean you give your blessing?”

“Whether I _bless_ it or not is irrelevant. Lucy is going to do or not do whatever the hell she wants in her personal life.” The Admiral shook his head. “First time she ever mentioned your name, when you sent that e-mail after the attack on Mindoir, I tried to discourage her from talking to you.” He sighed. “Clearly, that worked _exceptionally_ well.”

Zaeed crossed his arms and said nothing.

“I wasn't wrong about Tony and she's told me on several occasions that she wished she'd listened to my warnings about him. But I _was_ wrong about you. Don't make me regret saying that.”

* * *

> _From:_ _Lucy_
> 
> _To:_ _Zaeed_
> 
> _Subj:_ _re:_ _Elysium_
> 
> _Since_ _I'm being_ _ forced _ _ to take shore leave before I _ _ 'm allowed to _ _ even  _ _ think _ _ about  _ _ trying the  _ _ N3  _ _ course _ _ , Elysium sounds perfect. I've always wanted to go there, never got the chance. It was actually supposed to be my next posting, before I got tagged for Rio. _
> 
> _This will be fun!_
> 
> _-L_

* * *

Zaeed had originally suggested Elysium because he had a bounty to finish there. He'd hoped to be done with it by the time Lucy arrived, but it was another couple of days before it was finished. She didn't seem to mind though, spending the time exploring the city, quickly picking out the places she would have frequented if she'd been stationed there.

With the bounty behind him, Zaeed knew there was no point in delaying. He knew he was going to have to tell her about his past before they made _any_ plans for their future.

It was _now or never_ when she grew suspicious that he'd elected to cook for her instead of ordering in.

“Sit.” He grabbed her hand and gently pulled her down next to him on the couch. “There's something we need to talk about.”

“Okay.” She started chewing on her bottom lip the way she always did whenever she was anxious about something.

He instinctively reached out a hand and pulled her lip free with his thumb. “It's nothing bad, I promise. Nothing bad to do with _us_ anyway.”

She frowned and brought a hand up to cover his. “What the hell  is going on, Zaeed ?”

“You ever heard of Vido Santiago?”

She  nodded . “ Head of the Blue Suns. We got a briefing on all the major mercenary gangs when I was posted out near the Terminus. Why?”

“There's... something I want to ask you.” He brought her hand up to his lips and laid a kiss on each knuckle. “But before I do, I think it's long past time you knew the goddamn truth about my past.”

“So what Uncle Steven told me about you wasn't true?”

“It _was_ the truth,  but so bloody glossed over I barely recognized it.” He squeezed her hand once before he got up and began pacing. “That wasn't his fault though. No one who wasn't actually a part of the Suns at the time knows the whole truth. And all but two of us are dead now.”

“You and... Vido?” 

He nodded. “We didn't join the Alliance for some higher purpose, to help people, like you, or because it was _family tradition_ , like Kevin. Vido and I were bloody street rats. It's just what you _do_. You either join the Alliance or join a gang.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah yeah, the irony's not lost on me, believe me. Some make it, thrive on the structure of military life and all, like your uncle. 'Course he had more structure growing up anyway, because he had your mum looking out for him. But that wasn't me and Vido. We'd been on our own since before we knew how to tie our goddamn bootlaces, and we liked it that way.”

“Why'd you join the Alliance instead of an existing gang?”

He shrugged. “We hadn't necessarily ruled out gang life, obviously, but we'd been dodging the likes of the 10th Street Reds for years. We wouldn't have lasted long with the Reds, 'specially Vido. And we wanted to get off of Earth, but we needed money to do it. Hell, we made it a whole year, which is more than a lot of people can say. Some don't even make it through boot camp.”

She groaned. “Don't remind me of that hell hole.”

“You survived and came out on top –”

“With no friends.”

“You were in with a lot of judgmental idiots. You don't want friends like them, sweetheart.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know, I know. Continue.”

“Anyway, we'd had our plan from the beginning, before we ever set foot on Alliance training grounds. Eventually, Vido started gauging who might be up for joining us when we decided our time was up.” He sighed heavily before he added, “like Kevin.”

She frowned. “But Kevin _always_ said he left the Alliance because Mom died.”

“That was why he left _when_ he did. But before she got sick, he'd been making plans to leave months later with us.”

“Oh.” She was quiet for a long while and Zaeed worried that he'd pushed her too far. Finally, she said, “You mentioned before that only you and Vido know what happened between you, that everyone else involved is dead. What happened to them?”

He sighed. “The ones who were still loyal to me, Vido killed 'em all. The rest, the ones who sided with him outright and especially those of my own goddamn men that he paid off to fucking betray me,” he clenched his fists so hard, he could feel his nails digging into his palms, “I hunted those bastards down myself.”

He saw the troubled look on her face and suddenly realized why she'd asked.

_Shit._

“Don't think about it.” He sat beside her again and took her hands in his. “It doesn't matter now whose side he'd have taken.” He shook his head. “Wish I'd never brought it up in the first place.”

“Why _did_ you?” She narrowed her eyes. “What's this sudden obsession with my knowing every little detail about the past?”

“Look, I should have told you a long time ago, at the beginning of our relationship, if not before, so you'd know what the hell you were getting into.”

“That's not an answer, Z. Or at least it's not an answer to the question I asked.” She hesitated a moment before she moved over to sit in his lap. “What's going on?”

He reached up and tucked a stray curl of jet black hair behind her ear. “I'm telling you all this now because I wanted you to know all the facts before I asked you to marry me.”

“You... are you...” Her eyes went wide as she stared at him. “You're serious, aren't you?”

“Yes.” He leaned in to kiss her gently as he opened a drawer on the side table and took out the small velvet box he'd put there the day he'd arrived. “Lucy Shepard, will you –”

A massive explosion suddenly rocked the building. Zaeed quickly wrapped his arms around Lucy and tucked her head against his chest as they were thrown from the couch and landed a few feet away.

“You all right?” he asked as the dust settled and they got to their feet.

She nodded. “What the hell was that?”

“Slavers or pirates would be my guess.”

“Fucking batarians,” she grumbled, checking the guns he tossed her from the weapons locker in the corner of the room.

“You ready?”

“Let's do this.” She turned and kissed him before they reached the front door. “By the way, my answer to your unfinished question? Yes.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: mentions of child abuse

Lucy had received a flurry of e-mails from various people after the attack on Elysium; most were from complete strangers who had watched the various ceremonies on TV afterward. But some were from friends like Jeff and Brandi, a few from military acquaintances like her boot camp and officer training instructors as well as Commander Anderson.  She'd even received a message from Tony's father, which she thought was _strange_.  Until she read it.

> _From: Major Carlson_
> 
> _To: Lt. Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: Your Victory on Elysium_
> 
> _Surprise, babe... even in the brig, us lowly prisoners heard about Elysium. Me? I was rooting for the batarians, hoping they'd wreck that pretty face of yours. Too bad really. Then you'd match with that fucking interfering bastard you keep around for protection._
> 
> _Watch your back, babe. I'll be out before long, and Massani can't always be around._
> 
> _-Tony_

“You won't be out as soon as you think, you smug jackass,” she muttered as she forwarded a copy of the e-mail to both her uncle _and_ Major Carlson. She figured the Major might like to know his extranet account had been hacked.

“What's that?” Zaeed asked, looking over her shoulder as she hit _send_.

“Just Tony trying, and failing, to scare me.” She leaned back against her fiancé as he wrapped his arms around her. What Tony didn't understand, and probably never would, was that she felt _safe_ with Zaeed, but she didn't _keep him around for protection_. She could take care of herself. And Zaeed knew that, understood it and respected it. Even so, they both knew she'd gotten lucky that day in the alley. If she'd hesitated for even a second, things could have gone sideways and very wrong.

“You sure the account was hacked?” he asked, reading the note she had attached to the forwarded copy.

She shrugged. “I don't have any reason to believe otherwise.” She glanced over her shoulder and saw the hard set of his jaw. She raised an eyebrow as she turned to face him. “Do you?”

“I don't know if it was hacked or if the Major intentionally gave Tony access to his account, but...” He shook his head. “There's just something _off_ about the whole thing.”

“What do you mean?” She frowned. “Major Carlson would never –”

“Abusive assholes like Tony don't just one day decide they're going to be that way,” he said gruffly. “It's learned from years of having it done to them or watching it happening to someone else.”

She could see the pain in his eyes, memories from long ago, that told her he wasn't speaking hypothetically, but from experience.

“Is that what happened to you?” she asked quietly.

He shook his head. “It wasn't my parents, if that's what you mean. Dad was never in the picture and mum died when I was a baby. I grew up in an orphanage. Or that's what it _appeared_ to be, to outsiders. To the bitch who ran it, it was more like a bloody workhouse. I don't even remember what we supposedly made there. What I do remember is what happened at the end of every day. If we did everything we were supposed to, we got food. If not, we got a beating, from one of the other kids.” He was quiet for several minutes before he spoke again. “When a kid reached a certain age, they were given the option to begin _training_. How to give a proper beating or some bullshit like that.” He sighed. “One day when I was about six I guess it was, I was put in a group and asked if I wanted to be one of those who handed out beatings.”

“And that's why you ran away?”

“That was part of it, yeah. I didn't want to end up like them. Though it also had a lot to do with the fact that I wasn't going to stick around to find out what happened after the guy that was supposed to _train_ us... ended up dead.”

Her eyes went wide. “Did you... have anything to do with it?”

The muscle in his jaw jumped before he answered, “Not solely, but yes. Vido too. 'S how we became friends, really.”

“What happened to the 'orphanage,' to the woman that ran it?” she asked hesitantly.

“We heard rumors a couple of years after we left that the place had finally closed down. But that was _all_ we heard. Dunno if she finally got caught somehow, or maybe the whole lot of them snapped and killed her.” His eyes lit up briefly at the thought. “Wouldn't surprise me though if she'd just up and moved the whole goddamn operation somewhere else,” he added bitterly.

Lucy's heart ached at the thought of all the pain Zaeed had been through in his life. Her life had been a damn fairy tale by comparison. She thought of all the times she'd complained about some little something and –

A loud and persistent knocking on the front door brought her out of her reverie. She looked over at Zaeed and he shrugged.

“I didn't order anything,” he said, walking toward the door, Lucy on his heels. He frowned at the image on the security camera, of a young man in Alliance fatigues, looking _very_ nervous. “Punk don't look old enough to be in bloody uniform.”

Lucy rolled her eyes and slid the door open. “Can I help you?”

“L-l-lieutenant S-shepard?,” the kid finally managed to squeak out. “F-from the.. erm... I mean... from Admiral H-hackett. Ma'am.” He snapped a salute before he practically threw a data pad at her and fled down the hall.

Zaeed raised an eyebrow as she came back inside and closed the door. “An adoring fan?”

“Nah, probably just scared of Uncle Steven. The new ones always are.” She looked at the data pad and immediately went to the terminal in the living room to sent a hail to her uncle. “What the hell is this?” she asked when he finally answered.

“What is what?” he asked, his face the picture of innocence.

“ _Congratulations. We have determined that your actions during the Skyllian Blitz equaled or surpassed those needed to pass the N3 course of the Interplanetary Combatives Training Academy. Report to Villa Militar within a fortnight to_ _receive your instructions for the_ _N4 course_ ,” she quoted from the data pad in her hand. She narrowed her eyes at him when she'd finished reading. “Did you have anything to do with this?”

“Absolutely not. What would make you think I did?”

“Because the kid who nearly shit his pants delivering the damn thing mentioned that it was from you.”

“Ah.” His attempt to suppress a smile failed. “I had received the orders myself and had planned to forward them to you but the young corporal was very eager to meet you and –”

“Told you,” Zaeed muttered in her ear.

She turned to glare at him. “Bite me.” She turned back to Hackett. “Wait. If you had nothing to do with the decision, then why would they send the orders to you instead of directly to me?”

“They'd already made the decision to advance you past N3; they just wanted to know if I thought you were ready to go now or if you needed time off to heal after the Blitz.”

“Because clearly you have the medical training to determine that.”

He ignored her comment. “You've taken the time off they _recommended_ before you were allowed to continue in the first place, so as far as I'm concerned, it's up to you.”

“Thank you. I'll probably leave in the next couple of days. I'll let them know when I'm on my way.”

“Good. Now about the message you forwarded to me earlier...”

_Shit._ She'd nearly forgotten about Tony's message. “What about it?”

“I passed it along to the warden and he said he'd already received it from Major Carlson as well.”

She glanced back at Zaeed, who only shrugged in response.

“The warden said they'll be restricting Tony's _activities_ for awhile,” Hackett continued.

Zaeed growled. “Any chance he'll be out and away from Arcturus anytime soon so I can _shoot_ him?”

“No.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment and kudos :)

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Unknown_
> 
> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Zaeed_
> 
> _02:32 L: Hey you._
> 
> _02:36 Z: Well well. Wondered if you were ever coming back to civilization._
> 
> _02:38 L: I was busy._
> 
> _02:39 Z: So I hear._
> 
> _02:42 L: Ran into a 'friend' of yours while I was playing soldier._
> 
> _02:43 Z: I don't have friends, sweetheart._
> 
> _02:44 L: I know. That's why I said 'friend'... it was Vido._
> 
> _02:46 Z: Y ou ok? Where the bloody hell were you ?_
> 
> _02:48 L: Somewhere in the Terminus, that's all I know. He's long gone though._
> 
> _02:49 L: And yes, I'm fine. Got a little (lot) singed in an explosion but otherwise ok._
> 
> _02:50 Z: An explosion?_
> 
> _02:52 L: We were sent to clear out a Blue Suns base. That's why I don't know where I was, it was all secret, etc._
> 
> _02:53 L: Anyway, we were in a heavy firefight; one of my squad missed his target and hit the fuel tank the idiot was standing in front of. Set off a chain reaction._
> 
> _02:54 Z: Christ. You still passed your test?_
> 
> _02:56 L: Yeah. It was supposed to be a test of leadership skills or something. They said 'The team leader was not at fault for the destruction of the building; her actions under extreme pressure were exemplary...' blah blah blah_
> 
> _02:57 Z: What happened to the fucker who set off the explosion?_
> 
> _02:59 L: He'll be in the hospital for... awhile. But he'll be ok. Probably._
> 
> _03:03 L: I just wanted to let you know I had a Vido sighting. My first, but I'm sure it wasn't my last._
> 
> _03:04 Z: He may not still be there, but it's as damn good a place to start as any._
> 
> _03:05 L: Also, my last test is... long. Like several months long. Just thought I'd let you know so you don't worry._
> 
> _03:06 Z: I always worry, Luce._
> 
> _03:07 L: Yeah, yeah. You sound like Uncle Steven all of a sudden._
> 
> _03:08 Z: Bloody wonderful._
> 
> _03:10 L: I love you. I'll send you a message the second I can._
> 
> _03:11 Z: Be careful. I love you too._
> 
> _03:12 User has Disconnected._

* * *

_Six Months Later..._

She'd taken her time in reaching the end, but Lucy had finally achieved N7 status.

The ceremony on Arcturus was short. Only she and two others had graduated. They received their commendations, a couple of speeches were made, and then it was over.

Hackett stood talking with the recently promoted Captain Anderson and a few other senior officers at the reception afterward. He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation however, having drifted away about the time Anderson started recalling, for the umpteenth time, his own graduation many years before.

Instead, the Admiral's attention was focused on Lucy and Zaeed, standing near the bar. He watched as the mercenary leaned in to whisper something in her ear. A moment later, she grinned and jumped into his arms.

Hackett shook his head and sighed as they made their way over to him. He muttered an apology to the group and stood off to the side.

“How long do we have to stay at the reception?” Lucy asked, the grin still plastered on her face.

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “Why? Is there someplace else you need to be?”

“Need? Not especially.” Lucy was looking at the ring on her finger, a circle of small white diamonds surrounding alarger blue diamond. “Want? More than anything.” She must have noticed the way he was glaring at her _fiancé_ when she looked up as she said, “I... think I'm just gonna go get some drinks. For you two.”

“ _That_ was your idea of a proposal?” he growled at Zaeed as they watched Lucy walking back to the bar, stopping to talk to one of her fellow N7s along the way.

“Of course not,” Zaeed scoffed. “I proposed literally thirty seconds before the goddamn batarians attacked Elysium. After all the crazy died down, we talked some more and decided to wait until she'd finished all this before we actually got married.”

“Since I never heard anything else about it after you and I talked, I just assumed that you'd asked and she'd said no but that you'd stayed together anyway.” Hackett sighed. “I guess that's why she never told me.”

Zaeed nodded. “Too much happening all at once.”

“So what are your plans now?” Hackett asked warily. “She's got three weeks' leave before she heads to her next post.”

“We're going to Corfu.”

“Greece?”

Zaeed nodded. “She wanted to go to the beach, and the place I found is fairly secluded, so she can relax.”

“And you? This won't be like Elysium, a _working_ holiday?”

“No. Finished up my last bounty about a week ago. Anyone contacts me in the next three weeks, I'm telling them to bugger off. Lucy's not the only one who needs to relax.”

“Fair enough. I take it you're planning to go through with it, get married, before you head to Earth?”

“Yes,” Lucy said as she rejoined them. She handed them each a tumbler of scotch, keeping a glass of cranberry juice for herself. “And we wanted to ask you to officiate.”

From the way Zaeed was looking at the ceiling as he drank his scotch, it was clear that particular point had been all Lucy's idea, not his.

“If you're absolutely sure this is what you want,” Hackett said.

“It is,” they said together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucy's engagement ring: http://www.polyvore.com/reeds_diamond_blue_round_halo/thing?context_id=9522971&context_type=user_fav&id=92733995


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the overly long wait  
> thanks for the kudos :)

 

> _From: Brandi_
> 
> _To: Lucy_
> 
> _Subj: re: Thanks Again_
> 
> _You looked so beautiful! (How many times did I say that already?)_
> 
> _Hope you can come visit me some time in New York! It's so much fun! I do miss my dads though. Oh, and they said to remind you that they'll still kick Zaeed's ass if he ever hurts you. I not so subtly reminded them about the vid somebody sent them of you kicking Tony's ass in that alley, and they backed off. Offer still stands though if you ever need it._
> 
> _Be good! (But not too good *grins*)_
> 
> _-B_

 

 

> _From: Jeff_
> 
> _To: Lucy_
> 
> _Subj: re: Thanks Again_
> 
> _Glad Massani talked you out of just getting married in your uncle's office. I would have been pissed if I'd missed it. Plus, I' d never been to Argentina before. Hell, aside from boot camp and a couple of vacations, I've rarely been to Earth at all ._
> 
> _My parents said they left a thing for you at your uncle's place. Also, next time you visit them , you might want to have a chat with Hilary. She's 100% convinced, no matter what anyone says, that she's the reason you guys got married, that she put the idea in your head back at your boot camp graduation. Amazed she still remembers that._
> 
> _Anyway, have fun wherever the hell you went for your honeymoon. And good luck wherever your next post is._
> 
> _-J_
> 
> _PS: Is your friend Brandi single?_

* * *

“Your uncle is going to string me up by my balls when he finds out you're doing _exactly_ what I swore to him you wouldn't be doing during these three weeks,” Zaeed said as he set a couple of drinks down and slid into the booth beside Lucy in one of the seedier bars on Omega.

She rolled her eyes and resumed typing out her brief reply to Jeff:

 

> _I am not a matc_ _h-_ _making service. You two need to find your own fucking dates. (_ _Fine, y_ _es, she's single.)_

“And what exactly is it that you swore to him I wouldn't be doing?” she asked, closing her omni-tool and leaning back against him.

“Working.”

She turned amused grey eyes on him as she reopened her omni-tool and showed him the e-mails. “Does this look like work to you?”

He rolled his eyes as he slid an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. “That not what I meant.”

“I _think_ the part he's gonna be pissed about is that you told him we'd be getting our tan on in Greece and yet we're on Omega.”

“And the fact that it was _your_ idea will somehow turn out to be _my_ bloody fault,” he grumbled.

She grinned. “Of course. That's how Uncle Steven's mind works. I may be twenty-four, but I'm still a young impressionable mind, easily influenced and corrupted.”

“Pretty goddamn certain _you're_ the one doing the corrupting, sweetheart.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Massani, if it'll help you sleep better at night.” Her grin faltered as she glanced toward the bar's entrance and saw the man who had just entered. “Shit. He's here.”

Zaeed followed her gaze and his grip on her shoulder tightened. “If this thing goes south,” he muttered against her hair. “Hackett is going to castrate and then behead me, twice.”

“Don't be so damn negative,” Lucy said as she shifted to straddle his lap, though she sounded more confident than she felt.

He tangled both hands in her hair and looked into her eyes. “If you don't want to do this, tell me now. You know I can just as easily do it on my own.”

“You could,” she agreed, leaning in to bite down on his bottom lip. “But I didn't come all this way just to sit by and _watch_ you work, Z.”

“It's fucking now or never, sweetheart.” He ran a hand along her upper thigh, partly for the show if anyone was watching them, but also to check on the knife garter under her dress, holding the butterfly knife she still never went anywhere without. “Just remember, I'll be in your ear the entire time.”

She nodded almost imperceptibly and took a deep breath. “Ugh. You are _such_ a jerk!” she said loud enough that it carried across the bar. From the look on Zaeed's face, everyone, including their target, had turned their attention to them.

_Perfect._

“I can expl–” Zaeed started to argue, and Lucy slapped him across the face, just hard enough to make the fight look legitimate, before she climbed off of his lap.

When he grabbed her wrist as she started walking away, she _winced_ as she turned back and said, “Oh and you can keep these too,” as she made a show of handing him her rings. “We are so over.”

Based on the reactions of the men at the bar as she walked away from the shadowy booth, he had reached his hand out to grab her again and then _thought better of it_. Now, she was essentially on her own until he made his move against the target.

* * *

Zaeed drummed his fingers nervously on his tumbler of scotch as he watched Lucy at the bar. The man they were after, Gustavo Silva, was a career criminal with a laundry list of offenses and a 50,000 credit bounty on his head. As expected, he approached her the moment the bartender, a friend of Zaeed's, left to make her drink.

Zaeed knew he couldn't stay long; he was going to be waiting for them in an alley near his safe house, and if he left after they did, he'd never get out without being harassed by the others at the bar. They were all lowlifes in general, but most of them were goddamn protective of seemingly vulnerable women.

“ _Are you all right? He didn't hurt you, did he?”_

“ _No, I'm okay. It was an old injury.”_

“ _Here's your drink, miss. That'll be –”_

“ _No, let me get it.”_ As Silva stepped in to pay for Lucy's drink, Zaeed knew she likely had him hooked and decided it was time to get in position. He would be able to hear the rest through her earpiece. She would feed Silva a sob story, complete with how much of a bastard her husband was, then plead for him to walk her home. He wouldn't be able to resist the allure of playing the _hero_ by walking her home before robbing her blind.

Zaeed listened to Lucy talking as he quietly slipped out of the booth. Considering the eyes that were on him as he left, he was more than a little thankful they'd been sitting fairly close to the exit.

“ _I've seen you in here the last couple of days, but you've always been alone.”_ She'd been staking him out, with Dan, Zaeed's bartender, keeping an eye on her.

“ _We got married a few days ago. We were supposed to be on our honeymoon, but he got a call about a drug deal that he just couldn't pass up. Big shipment of red sand. He dragged me along and I've been on my own since we got here. And to top it off, I found out today that I... I'm...”_ She started sobbing hysterically.

“ _You're too good for the likes of him, my dear.”_

“ _I k-know. I don't mean to impose, but... I saw him leave a few minutes ago. Would you mind walking me back to our apartment?”_

“I'm in position, Luce, so you don't have to drag it out too long,” Zaeed said as he reached the alley they'd decided on.

“– _don't seriously intend to stay there, do you?”_

“ _I... no, I just want to get my bags. I'm... I want to leave, tonight.”_

Less than five minutes later, Lucy and Silva walked past Zaeed's hiding spot. Zaeed reached out and grabbed Silva by the back of the neck and pinned him against the wall.

Lucy waved as she kept walking on towards the safe house. “See you at home, honey.”

She was waiting for him when he'd finished delivering Silva to his contacts. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed that she actually _had_ packed her bags.

“You goin' somewhere, sweetheart?”

She shrugged. “Figured if we were done here, we could still spend at least a few days in Greece so we wouldn't have to _completely_ lie to Uncle Steven. 'Sides, I think we both deserve an actual vacation now.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her fiercely. “Agreed. But no more checking your goddamn messages.”

Her omni-tool started flashing with what was likely a message from Hackett. She threw it into her bag and grinned. “Deal.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment and kudos :)

**Five Years Later...**

“Joker stole my ship.”

“Well, hello to –” Zaeed stopped short in the doorway of Hackett's apartment as Lucy wandered into the kitchen. “Wait... who did _what_?”

She stuck her head around the corner. “Jeff Moreau. He stole the SSV Normandy.”

He followed her into the kitchen and leaned against a counter. “And this is your way of telling me you got assigned to a new ship?”

“ _S_ _í_. I'm Anderson's XO.”

“Again.”

“Third time in five years.” She shrugged as she put a lid on what smelled like spaghetti sauce and hopped up on the counter beside him. “Could be worse though. Could be under Uncle Steven's direct command.”

“True. That would be a goddamn disaster.” He turned so that he was standing between her legs, one hand on either side of her waist, and flicked his tongue out to lick a line of sauce from her bottom lip. “When do you leave?”

She seemed to be avoiding his gaze when she answered, “About... sixteen hours.”

“You always get like this, Luce.” He gently ran his thumb along her jaw and lifted her face to look into her eyes. “We'll be fine. Always are. Sixteen hours is a bloody eternity compared to your first assignment with Anderson, when I didn't find out until a week _after_ you'd left, and not even from you.”

She smiled weakly. “Yeah, I remember. And I know it's stupid, I just... I hate this part so much.”

“I know, sweetheart. I do, too.” He pulled her to the edge of the counter and pressed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss before he changed the subject. “So, why the bloody hell would Moreau steal the ship?”

“Hell if I know; I haven't talked to him yet. Maybe it was to give Hilary a laugh, or give one or both of their parents a stroke? Maybe just prove that he _could_ steal it?”

“But why? Everybody already knows he's the best pilot in the Alliance; can't get through a fucking conversation with him without hearing about it.”

She leaned forward and nipped his nose. “Be nice, Z.”

He rolled his eyes. “So what happened to the ship stealer?”

“Not a damn thing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nope. According to Anderson, the Admiralty wanted to put him in the brig, probably throw away the key. But the Captain had another idea.”

“He didn't...”

“He did indeed,” Hackett said from the doorway. “Moreau is the Normandy's helmsman.”

“That's a bloody mistake.” Zaeed shook his head as he turned and leaned back against the counter again. “Anderson's going to have his hands full with him and Lucy on the same ship.”

Hackett chuckled. “I'll agree with you there.”

Lucy rolled her eyes at her uncle and shoved her husband out of the way so she could jump off of the counter as a timer went off. “I had every intention of making y'all a _family meal_ before I leave for six months, but maybe I should just kick y'all out and invite Jeff and Anderson over instead.”

“You know how bloody hard it is to understand her when her Texas accent comes out?” Zaeed didn't even attempt to hide his smirk when she flicked a piece of spaghetti at him.

“I need a fucking time machine,” she muttered as she took garlic bread out of the oven. “I'd go back and tell my sixteen-year-old self two things: _don't date To_ _ny Carlson_ and _life is much simpler, for you, when Zaeed and Uncle Steven don't get along_.”

The two men exchanged amused glances when she stalked past them with the platter of spaghetti.

“I wasn't aware we _did_ get along,” Hackett said as he followed, carrying the garlic bread. “Massani?”

Zaeed shook his head. “No, it's news to me.”

Lucy rolled her eyes and pushed them towards opposite ends of the couch before taking the seat between them and turning the TV on to the college biotiball playoffs. “ _Idiots_.”

* * *

 

> _From: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: re: Nihlus_ _Kryik_
> 
> _If you're so interested in why he's following you around, why don't you ask him yourself? I'm more interested in why he claims he saw you on Omega five years ago, during a period of time in which I specifically remember you claimed you were on Corfu “doing things to Massani you don't want think about or have me talk about so leave me alone, Uncle Steven.”_
> 
> _Care to explain?_
> 
> _-SH_

 

> _From: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _To: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _Subj: re: Nihlus Kryik_
> 
> _Unless you want your ears to bleed and your brain to explode, there's nothing to explain._
> 
> _And you don't think I tried asking him? He just... gives me an appraising look and ignores the question. Other than introducing himself to me when we boarded the ship on Arcturus, he hasn't said a damn word to me in a month and a half._
> 
> _When did you talk to him??_
> 
> _-Lucy_

* * *

“Lieutenants, do either of you know where Nihlus is?” Lucy bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing when Lt. Kaidan Alenko jumped out of his seat to salute her every single time she approached the cockpit; he seemed to be the _only_ one on the entire ship who couldn't, or _wouldn't_ , relax around her.

“At ease, Alenko.”

“He was up here about ten minutes ago, ma'am,” he said as he resumed his seat to the right of Joker. “We assumed he'd gone to find you or Captain Anderson.”

She gave him a small smile and turned to go. “Thank you.”

“Can I ask, why is he here? I know the ship was built by both the turians and humans, but why send a Spectre? Why not send a turian Ambassador?”

She shrugged. “As far as I can tell, Alenko, his only purpose on this ship is to make my life a living hell.”

Finding no sign of him on the CIC, she went down one deck, finally finding her turian shadow sitting alone in a corner of the mess.

“We need to talk,” she said, grimacing as she sat across from him and took a sip of what _had_ to be day-old coffee. “Why are you following me around?”

He stared at her with the same look he always gave her whenever she asked a question and remained silent.

She hadn't expected any different but pressed on anyway. “All right, different question. Why were you in the Devil's Cure on Omega five years ago?”

There was no change in his expression, aside from a subtle twitch of his mandibles, and she thought she'd failed to crack him again. But then... “Spectre business. The better question, Shepard, is what were _you_ doing there?”

“If you were actually there, I'd have thought it was fairly obvious to a trained eye like yours,” she shot back with a smirk.

“Indeed. To the casual observer, you appeared to be a naïve child caught up in a bad relationship, on your way to a worse end.”

“And to you?”

“You were a highly skilled warrior, though perhaps still naïve in the ways of men.”

She rolled her eyes. “You've spent entirely too much time with Admiral Hackett.”

His mandibles twitched again in what she guessed was the turian version of a smirk. “Not at all, Shepard. I've only spoken to the man once. I just hold a rather guarded view of your mercenary husband.”

“You and the rest of the fucking galaxy,” she muttered into her coffee. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Wait. You... know we're married?”

“If I didn't before, I do now,” he said, his smirk widening into an unmistakable grin. “Don't worry, Shepard. It may not be the big secret the two of you would like to think it is, but it's known by far fewer people than the shock on your face says you're imagining.”

Lucy cleared her throat and took a sip of what she now suspected might be battery acid posing as coffee. “All right, so you don't like Massani. Is that why you told the Admiral about Omega?”

“No. If it had had anything to do with Massani, it wouldn't have taken me five years to bring it up. And whatever my opinion of him, your personal relationships aren't _my_ concern.”

“Fair point. So? Why _did_ you bring it up?”

“I'm not prepared to say just yet. But you'll find out soon enough.”

“Great. Thanks.” She sighed and prepared to get up from the table.

“Shepard! Nihlus!” Anderson's voice boomed out over the ship-wide comm system. “Meet me in the comm room ASAP.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow at Nihlus as they walked back up to the CIC. “Okay, how about now?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

> _From: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _To: Zaeed Massani_
> 
> _Subj: re: Lucy_
> 
> _For the moment, I'm putting aside my anger at you taking her to Omega for a bounty (no, I don't care if it was her idea, since that undoubtedly will be your argument)._
> 
> _Yes, I know the news reports from Eden Prime look bad. And they are. Lucy's fine, in theory. Alive at least. She's not responding to your hails because she's unconscious. She got caught in an explosion just before she and her squad were picked up at the LZ. The Normandy is on its way to the Citadel._
> 
> _I suggest you haul your mercenary ass to get there before they do. She'll be busy for at least a couple of days. In the meantime, there is a... package... that seems to have “mistakenly” made its way from Arcturus to the Citadel and is waiting for her. I need you to deliver it back to the proper authorities on Arcturus before Lucy finds it. Do not, under any circumstances, destroy, the package._
> 
> _Let me know when it's done, and do it quickly._
> 
> _-SH_

* * *

Zaeed had no difficulty finding Tony; he wasn't quite as discreet as he seemed to think he was. He did have difficulty in following Hackett's strict  _do not destroy_ rule, however. Tony had apparently learned a lesson from his little stunt in using his father's extranet account and decided to go a different route when he rented a hotel room near the Alliance Officers Block. Zaeed nearly broke the terminal at the front desk in half when he came across the name Tony had used.

An hour  later, the pimply- faced teenager  delivering a pizza to “Kevin Shepard's” room  was paid off , and after Tony had a  slight _disagreement_ with a desk lamp  to assuage Zaeed's blood lust ,  they were on their way back to Arcturus .

* * *

> __Inter-Relay Text Chat_ _
> 
> _Location: Arcturus_
> 
> _From: Zaeed Massani_
> 
> _To: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _14:08 ZM: Package delivered._
> 
> _14:11 SH: Any trouble?_
> 
> _14:12 ZM: None I couldn't handle. It was goddamn unnerving really._
> 
> _14:13 SH: You wanted trouble?_
> 
> _14:15 ZM: From that one? Hell yes._
> 
> _14:16 SH: Why?_
> 
> _14:18 ZM: I'm attaching an image of the registry from the hotel where the package was found._
> 
> _14:19 ZM: See anything out of place?_
> 
> _14:21 SH: I do. I see why you wanted trouble._
> 
> _14:23 ZM: There was some damage but it's far from destroyed._
> 
> _14:26 ZM: You should know, I only followed your instructions to the letter this time because of what Lucy was trying to accomplish._
> 
> _14:27 ZM: Next time, I will_ _ destroy _ _the bloody_ _thing_ _. End of story._
> 
> _14:28 SH: Understood._
> 
> _14:30 SH: Spectre ceremony is tomorrow._
> 
> _14:35 ZM: I'll be there._
> 
> _14:36 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

“ Is it my paranoid side coming out or is that lieutenant a little overly friendly with my wife?” Zaeed muttered to Hackett as they stood in a corner of the Council Chambers after the Spectre ceremony was over, watching Lucy trying to navigate her way through the media frenzy, Lt. Alenko directly on her heels.

“You're paranoid, Massani.” Hackett sighed. “Look. Eden Prime was hard on the crew, Alenko especially because he feels he's at fault for Lucy getting caught in the explosion.”

“It _was_ his bloody fault.”

Hackett continued as if he hadn't heard him. “And the last few days, running around to find evidence against Saren, haven't been a walk in the park –”

“What exactly does all this have to do with Alenko trying to attach himself to Lucy's hip?” Zaeed growled.

“Saren obviously knows Lucy is gunning for him, will undoubtedly know by now that she's succeeded in becoming a Spectre. He's already sent a team after her once; it certainly won't be the last time. In short, she asked Alenko to be her bodyguard until you got back.”

Zaeed raised an eyebrow. “Why him?”

“He was the lesser of... all evils really. She and the gunnery chief they rescued on Eden Prime have a conflict of personalities; leaving aside the Vrolik's, Joker stealing the Normandy still makes him a media target; and... Lucy knew you'd have a coronary if she decided to use Wrex.”

“Wrex. She knows Urdnot Wrex?”

“Indeed. She picked him up at C-Sec a couple of days ago, helped him take down Fist.”

“Christ. Just the two of them? Took on Fist and his crew?”

“I believe there was a turian as well, ex-C-Sec.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes. “Of course there was a turian. There's always a bloody turian.”

There was a snort of laughter and they looked over to see Lucy standing at the bottom of the stairs nearby. “If he's done being a jealous idiot, can I talk to my _husband_ now?”

“Exactly how long have you been standing there?”

She shrugged as she stepped over to wrap her arms around his waist. “About five seconds. Didn't need to hear the words, honey. I could see you trying to kill Alenko with your brain from across the room. Speaking of which...” She glanced over her shoulder. “Zaeed, this is Lt. Kaidan Alenko. LT, this is my husband, Zaeed Massani.”

The two men exchanged an awkward handshake and forced pleasantries before the lieutenant decided it was past time for him to go. He saluted Hackett and Lucy before beating a hasty retreat to the elevator at the far end of the room.

“Alenko scares easy,” Zaeed said after Hackett had walked off to speak with Captain Anderson.

Lucy smirked as she leaned up to kiss him. “So says the jealous idiot.”

He cleared his throat and abruptly changed the subject. “So, I hear you met Wrex.”

“I did. He's fun.”

Both of Zaeed's eyebrow's shot up. “Fun?”

She laughed. “And this is why I chose Alenko over Wrex. To avoid _that_ face, right there.”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

“All right, so Wrex kind of stands out in a crowd, especially on the Presidium,” she admitted. “Would have been hard to get him admitted to Council Chambers. Plus, I knew you wouldn't actually do anything stupid like shoot Alenko, especially in front of Uncle Steven, but God only knows what you and Wrex might do to each other, regardless of the audience.”

“I should be bloody offended by that,” Zaeed said as they walked into the elevator and began the long ride back to the Presidium.

“Probably, but you know I'm right.” Lucy leaned back against him and pulled his arms around her. “So, where have you been the last few days? Thought I saw you when we first got here, but my brain was so scrambled by that damn beacon, I probably imagined it.”

“No, you didn't imagine it. I was here, but so was Tony.”

Her head snapped around so fast he was amazed her neck wasn't broken. “Psycho Tony was on the Citadel? Why?”

He gently nudged her around so she was facing him before he answered. “He was. He's not now. I didn't _ask_ him, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was to get a rise out of you, get you to do something stupid to ruin your career.”

“And why would he have expected me to do something stupid this time?”

Zaeed was spared having to answer as the elevator chose that moment to reach its destination. He dodged her question for the next ten minutes until they were in the privacy of their apartment in the wards.

The moment the front door slid shut, she backed him up against the wall and glared at him. “Talk, Massani.”

He opened his omni-tool to pull up the image that he'd sent Hackett the day before.

She was silent for several minutes before she whispered one word. “Why?”

“Why what?”

He frowned when she stalked across the living room without another word. He followed her into the bedroom, where she was muttering angrily as she fiddled with the buttons on her dress uniform jacket. He brushed her hands out of the way, quickly unbuttoning the jacket and pushing it off of her shoulders and down her arms before tossing it on a nearby chair.

She sank onto the bed with a heavy sigh. “You just took him back to Arcturus again, didn't you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Hackett told –”

She hopped back up and glared at him again. “Are you serious? Are you actually going to put this on Uncle Steven?”

Zaeed sighed. “Lucy, will you just listen to me?”

She rolled her eyes and leaned up against the wall by the door, her arms folded across her chest. “Fine. Talk.”

“The Admiral was the one who told me that Tony was on the Citadel.”

She opened her mouth to argue and immediately clamped it shut as understanding dawned on her face. “If you had done anything other than take Tony back to Arcturus for breaking the terms of his parole,” she said after a moment. “It would have come back to bite Uncle Steven in the ass.”

“Exactly. We were just trying to protect you, while not damaging either of your careers.” Zaeed looked into her eyes and hooked a finger around the chain holding her dogtags and wedding rings. “Am I forgiven?”

She made a show of thinking about it even as she allowed him to drag her into his arms and into a heated kiss. When they pulled apart, she grinned and backed him toward the bed. “With that kind of plea, I kind of _have_ to forgive you.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Citadel_
> 
> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Zaeed_
> 
> _17:14 L: I did bad..._
> 
> _17:15 L: Can't tell Uncle Steven._
> 
> _17:16 L: He'll get..._
> 
> _17:19 Z: Lucy?_
> 
> _17:24 Z: Can't tell him what?_
> 
> _17:26 Z: I'm sending you a vid-chat hail._
> 
> _17:26 Z: Answer it._
> 
> _17:27 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

Zaeed thought something was wrong with his terminal screen, because Lucy's image was _sideways_ and a little blurry. After a few seconds, everything corrected itself and he realized she'd been lying down.

“You all right, sweetheart?”

She slowly shook her head.

“What's wrong? Are you sick?”

She shook her head again, though he thought she looked extremely pale and a little green.

“What is it you can't tell your uncle about?”

She leaned to the side for a moment and came back into view with a half-empty bottle of Argentinian whiskey.

“So which part is it that you don't want to tell him about? That you broke into his apartment, that you stole his whiskey, or that you're drunk, for the first time in your entire life?”

She seemed to be considering and finally counted off all three, though Zaeed figured it was probably the third she was most worried about.

“Okay, now can you tell me, with actual words, _why_ you're drunk?”

She shook her head a third time, but disappeared again and came back with an answer. Kevin's gun.

_Shit._

“You had a flashback to Mindoir?” he asked carefully,  running options in his head. “What happened?”

She gave him a pained look and said nothing.

“Sorry, sweetheart. You're not talking because you're afraid you'll be sick if you open your mouth, yes?”

She very slowly nodded.

“Will you hurt me in a thousand different ways if I call Hackett anyway, so you won't be alone until I can make the jump from Bekenstein?”

She glared at him for a few moments and disconnected the chat.

Zaeed slammed his head against the back of his chair and sighed. “I'll take that as a yes.”

* * *

 

“Go 'way,” Lucy muttered to the inconsiderate idiot pounding on her front door. “I don' wan' to...”

The pounding finally stopped, only to be replaced by a vaguely familiar sounding string of muttered curses.

“Lucy?”

“Go 'way,” she repeated. “Uncle Steven will be mad.”

“I _am_ Uncle Steven.”

_Oh. Shitshitshitshitshit._

“Lucy, can you open your eyes and sit up?”

She cracked one eye open and saw a blurry figure crouched beside the sofa. “Are you mad?”

“Beyond worried at the moment,” he said, gently shifting her around into a seated position. He handed her a cup of coffee from one of the all-night shops nearby and sat down beside her. “Why would I be mad?”

She pointed to the bottle of whiskey on the side table. “ 'S yours.”

“So I noticed. Massani said he had a non-verbal _chat_ with you earlier. I take it you're feeling better?”

She shook her head. “Feel like a zombie.”

“Alcohol can do that to you. He also mentioned something about Mindoir? Want to talk about it?”

“I –” A wave of nausea swept over her and she launched out of her seat and ran for the kitchen sink, a more direct path than the bathroom. When she was done and had rinsed out the sink, she turned and slid down the cabinet underneath to sit on the floor.

“Feel better now?” Hackett was standing in the doorway.

She nodded. “A bit. Not the first time I've been sick tonight.”

“I can imagine.” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you planning to stay on the floor?”

She nodded again. “Just in case. Also, I'm stupid and therefore don't deserve the comfort of cushions.”

He chuckled. “Well then I might as well join you. I don't plan to lean against the wall all night. And I deserve  _punishment_ I suppose for...” He frowned as he  went to the fridge for a bottle of water and handed it to her before he  sat on the floor. “How did you get into my liquor cabinet?”

“Considering that you use Mom's birthday as your apartment code, I figured I'd try somebody else's on the liquor cabinet. Dad's seemed out of the question, unless you intended to use it as a subtle reminder against drinking _ever_ ; same with mine. So I went with Kevin's, and I was right.”

“All right, so yes, apparently I was stupid and don't deserve the comfort of cushions either.” He gave her a pointed look. “I'll leave the door code, but I'm changing the code on the liquor cabinet immediately. And no, it won't be anyone's birthday, death date, or you or your parents' wedding anniversaries.”

“Damn.”

“So, before you became violently ill, and then we got off on this... tangent, you were going to tell me what led to you breaking a lifetime of sobriety?”

She was interrupted once again, not by nausea, but by the sound of the front door opening  and a bag thumping as it hit the floor.

“Lucy?” Zaeed called out. “Where –” 

“Kitchen.”

He stopped in the doorway of the kitchen. “Why the bloody hell are you both sitting on the floor? And why are you in the kitchen in the first place?”

“Sick.” Lucy pointed up towards the sink.

“Ah.”

“She's more sober than she sounds,” Hackett said. “She'd just finished giving me a lesson in what not to use as a code on my liquor cabinet.”

“A birthday again?”

“Yes. Kevin's.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes. “Idiot. And again  I ask , why are you sitting on the floor?”

“Stupid people don't deserve cushions.” Lucy glared up at him. “Sit.”

“What the hell did I do?”

She gestured towards her uncle.

Zaeed sighed as he took a seat beside her. “Did you  _really_ expect that I wasn't going to call him?”

Her head  clunked  against the cabinet and she  swore as she rubbed the sore spot. “No, it was just... drunken wishful thinking.”

H ackett cleared his throat. “Lucy.”

“Hmm?” She frowned at the look on his face. “Oh. Right. You asked why I was drinking in the first place. Well, it's... it started several weeks ago.”

The two men exchanged a worried glance before looking at her. “The drinking?”

“What? Oh, God no. The _reason_ for the drinking. At least I think it did.”

She thought it had started about the time she'd accepted the invitation to Pinnacle Station. It had been a chance for the crew to unwind a little after the harrowing missions on Feros. Lucy had gone into the simulator with Wrex and, because she'd convinced Admiral Ahern it would be entertaining, Zaeed.

“You _what_?”

“Don't interrupt the storyteller, Uncle Steven.”

Hackett rolled his eyes. “Continue.”

T he series of matches had been exhilarating, particularly the last one when the safeties had been turned off as an extra challenge. 

“No, you can't go kill Ahern, or Zaeed,” Lucy said, noticing the vein about pop in Hackett's forehead. “They both said it was a stupid idea to turn the safeties off.”

“And yet, Ahern allowed it anyway,” he countered.

She shrugged. “Got a house out of it, and he would have terminated the simulation if it had been necessary.”

“You're saying you started feeling off back then?” Zaeed asked, interrupting Hackett's next argument. “Why didn't you say anything then?”

“Because I didn't... know.” She sighed. “It was... something about that last simulation that just threw me for a loop. Endless waves of turians turned into endless waves of batarians in my head.”

“Does this happen often?” Hackett asked quietly.

She shook her head. “Just the once. Anyway, I didn't say anything, obviously. And it completely slipped my mind as we went on to looking into what happened to Admiral Kahoku's men and went on to Therum to get Dr. T'Soni. After the close call we had on Therum with explosions  and lava and all, Joker thought it might be a good idea to get the ship's hull  integrity checked, so we came back here.”

“So what happened today that set you off?”

Lucy was suddenly feeling claustrophobic.  She  slowly stumbled to her feet, ignoring her husband and uncle's attempts to help her, and walked into the living room.

“What'd we do now?” Zaeed asked when they followed her a few moments later.

“Nothing. Sit.” She waited until they were sitting on the sofa before she spoke again. “Joker said he and Lt. Adams didn't know how long it would take to get the ship checked, so I gave everybody shore leave, told them all it could be as short as 24 hours, probably no longer than 72. Anyway, I was on my way to talk to Admiral Kahoku and a few others when I got ambushed by some bitchy reporter down in C-Sec. Apparently she hadn't gotten her fill of harassing me after the Spectre ceremony and was pissed that I hadn't been seen on the Citadel since then. I told her to fuck off.”

Lucy could see Zaeed's shoulders shaking with silent laughter as he hid his face in a pillow. Her uncle seemed less amused. “Please tell me that you're paraphrasing.”

“Of course.” She rolled her eyes. “That was what I _wanted_ to say, just as I _know_ that's what you wanted to say to that one who wanted to interview you after Mindoir.”

“Fair point. Go on.”

She began pacing in front of the coffee table. “I went around and talked to everyone that I needed to see, and then I got a call from C-Sec. I thought the reporter had made some harassment claim against me or something, I dunno. But that wasn't it at all. Thankfully, she was nowhere in sight  when I got there.”

“So what was the problem?”

“There was a young girl there, about 19 years old, who'd been on Mindoir.” She started chewing on her lip, trying to ignore the looks Hackett and Zaeed were giving each other and her. “The C-Sec lieutenant who'd called me said the girl, Talitha, was up in the docking bay where the Normandy was docked and threatening to kill herself. He knew I'd been on Mindoir – who the hell doesn't? – and thought maybe I could talk her down or something.”

“She must have been –”

“She was fucking six years old, Uncle Steven. She watched her parents die right in front of her eyes, tried to run...” Lucy sat on an ottoman just out of reach of the sofa. “I... got away because of you two; Dad and Kevin, they got lucky, dying...”

“Lucy!”

“It's the truth, Z. Do I wish every fucking day that they were still alive? Of course. But not in the hell Talitha had to live the last thirteen years. Control chips implanted without anesthesia. And... when the Alliance raided the camp where she'd been kept, she actually tried to _help_ the batarians, that's how fucking brain washed she was.”

N o one spoke for several tense minutes. 

Finally, Lucy looked down at her hands. “It should have been me,” she whispered.

Zaeed and Hackett were beside her instantly but remained silent.

“I'd finally gotten close enough to exchange her gun for a sedative the C-Sec captain had given me, so they could take her somewhere for treatment, and I immediately came back here. I'd already planned to spend whatever time we were going to be here alone anyway, because I am _never_ alone on that damn ship.” She sighed. “Anyway, when I came back here, I went into the bathroom to splash water on my face, try to clear my head. And the moment I looked in the mirror and saw this,” she ran one finger along the scar on her neck “the memories of what happened that night hit me like a fucking Mako. The one thing that was clear to me was that I should have ended up like Talitha.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Zaeed asked.

“If the batarian had been planning to kill me, he'd have done it the moment I ran out of the house. Instead, he disarmed me and was just... holding me in midair. If you hadn't...” She swallowed hard before continuing. “I couldn't get the images out of my head and something just _snapped_. I suddenly had this need to drink. Since, obviously, Z doesn't keep any here, I headed to Uncle Steven's apartment and y'all know the rest.”

“Are you all right now?” Hackett asked after they'd all sat in silence for another few minutes.

She nodded slowly. “ But I think I need a plan, in case this happens again. It's not every mention of Mindoir, or every time I see a batarian; I've fought batarians before with no problems, I've been to every anniversary memorial service with no problem.”

“If you get that sudden urge to drink again, whether it has to do with Mindoir, batarians or anything else, talk to us _first_.”

“And if that's not possible?”

“Talk to one of your crew that you trust.”

“And that's not Wrex,” Zaeed added. “What? He drinks like a bloody fish.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

> _From: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _To: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _Subj: Congratulations_
> 
> _The crew has just voted you the Second Most Hated Person in the entire Alliance, right behind Ambassador Udina. Don't worry, you're still my favorite uncle._
> 
> _Sending along the data we downloaded from the last geth base; also the data from the Cerberus “research” facility where we found Admiral Kahoku. We're making a brief stop on Arcturus before we go to Noveria, to deliver his body to his family._
> 
> _-Lucy_

 

> _From: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: re: Congratulations_
> 
> _Thank you for the data. And for finding Admiral Kahoku. I'm sure his family will appreciate having him home._
> 
> _Do I even want to know what prompted this poll? What exactly have I done to incur the wrath of your crew? I might also remind you I am your only uncle._
> 
> _-Uncle Steven_

 

> _From: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _To: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _Subj: Stupid Monkeys_
> 
> _I think Joker was the one who instigated it, but don't hold me to that. The crew honestly doesn't mind the “errands” for the Alliance; usually they're a break from the heavy missions, like Cerberus or Saren, or a shitload of batarian terrorists._
> 
> _But every once in awhile, there are ones that are just... too much. Like chasing after monkeys all over the fucking place, or biotic extremists (Alenko voted six times on that one), getting trapped in a mineshaft with a bomb because some asshole was pissed I'd stopped his raid on Elysium a billion years ago... should I go on??_
> 
> _ I promise, even if you weren't my uncle, you're not even  _ _ close _ _ to being my second least favorite person in the Alliance (I think that'd have to be Admiral  _ _Mikhailovich_ _ ). _
> 
> _I'm dreading Noveria. I hate the cold._
> 
> _-Lucy_
> 
> _ PS: BTW, Alenko, Tali & I  _ _ really hated _ _ those fucking monkeys. _

 

* * *

“ What about you, Shepard?”

Liara, Tali and Lucy were sitting together in the observation lounge as the Normandy made the trek from Noveria to the Citadel. After confronting Benezia, they were still no closer to finding Saren and they'd run out of options on where to look next. To the relief of a lot of the crew, they'd also run out of side missions from Admiral Hackett. As much as they all semi-enjoyed the missions themselves, the crew  _ hated _ the way Lucy drove the Mako.

Lucy had initially called Liara and Tali together to make sure they were okay after everything that had happened at Peak 15, particularly the large rachni presence, as well as to ask Liara about her mother. She figured it couldn't have been easy for the doctor to kill her own mother. But the conversation had quickly turned to memories Liara had had of her mother when she was younger. She'd asked Tali and Lucy about their own mothers. Tali's had died several years ago of an infection that had swept the floatilla, but she had fond memories as well.

And now Tali and Liara were looking at Lucy expectantly, waiting for her to answer the question.

“I don't remember mine all that well,” she finally admitted. “She got sick when I was eight, died when I was ten. Most of the memories I have of her revolve around food, mostly of family dinners and watching her teach my older brother to cook. I helped some, but I was too little to do much actual cooking. He was the one who taught me, from her recipes.”

The more she thought about it, the more Lucy realized that almost all of her childhood memories involved Kevin, at least once they'd moved to Mindoir. He'd been the reason she started playing softball, because she'd wanted to be like him. He'd been the one to teach her things like how to ride a bike and how to fish. It had been a tradition of theirs to go fishing at a pond near their farm every Sunday morning. It was one of the things she missed most.

If she could remember life when they'd lived in Texas, Lucy knew she would probably have many more memories of her mother. It had dawned on her that maybe her mom hadn't been entirely happy on Mindoir, that she'd only agreed to move because she'd hoped it would help Lucy's father with his drinking. If anything, it had only made it worse, the stress of keeping up a farm, even with Kevin's help. Honestly, the only memories Lucy had of her mother being totally carefree were when she was in the kitchen, lost in some piece of music and whatever she was cooking.

* * *

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Citadel_
> 
> _From: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _To: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _03:45 LS: Are you awake?_
> 
> _03:50 SH: Not exactly._
> 
> _03:51 SH: What's wrong?_
> 
> _03:52 LS: Who said anything's wrong?_
> 
> _03:53 SH: It's coming up on 0400, Lucy._
> 
> _03:54 SH: You didn't message me just to chat._
> 
> _03:55 SH: Did you? If you did, I'm disconnecting and then I'm going to court-martial you in the morning._
> 
> _03:57 LS: Very funny. Nothing's wrong, exactly. I just wanted to ask you a few questions about my parents._
> 
> _03:58 LS: At breakfast, if you're on the Citadel._
> 
> _03:59 SH: I am. Your place or mine?_
> 
> _04:00 LS: Mine. 0900?_
> 
> _04:01 SH: It's a date._
> 
> _04:02 SH: Now go back to sleep. That's an order._
> 
> _04:02 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

“I have two questions,” Hackett said as he stood in Lucy's kitchen at the _reasonable_ hour of 0845, staring at all of the dishes she'd prepared. “Did you actually go back to sleep, and how many people did you invite to breakfast?”

“Just you, Uncle Steven.” She handed him a mug of very strong coffee. “And no.”

“Why not?”

“Two reasons. One, just because you ordered me to, doesn't mean I can magically fall asleep.”

“Fair point. And the second reason?”

“As a Spectre, technically I don't have to take orders from you anyway,” she teased.

He clutched his chest in mock agony. “You really know how to break an old man's heart, Lucy.”

She turned back to the stove. “You're barely 49, Uncle Steven. That hardly qualifies as old.” She glanced over her shoulder and grinned. “If you still think you're old next year at 50, then maybe we can talk.”

H e chuckled. “All right, all right. Now, will you tell me why you've cooked what looks to be enough to feed all of the Fifth Fleet if it's just going to be us?”

“Cooking relaxes me, baking really. Anything where I have to punch dough.”

“You sounded exactly like your mother when you said that.”

Lucy spun around and stared at him. “What?”

“She used to say that all the time when I was growing up. Usually when I was being a supreme brat, running around the house, screaming my head off so Kevin wouldn't stay down for a nap.”

“I'd almost forgotten how close in age you two really were.” She giggled. “Hard to imagine you as a little kid, let alone as a bratty one.”

“Doubt your parents could have handled a third one, after the hell Kevin and I put them through, so thank God you were an angel.”

She rolled her eyes and start plating up food. “Sure, I was a total angel.”

“Comparatively speaking.” He refilled his coffee mug and filled a second for her. “So, I vaguely recall you saying you had questions about your parents?”

She nodded. “I just don't really seem to remember them that well, Mom especially.”

“I see. And what brought this on so suddenly at 0400?”

She set her plate and mug on the coffee table and curled up on the sofa. “It wasn't suddenly then; I'd been thinking about it since yesterday. Tali, Liara and I had been having a discussion about mothers, after our confrontation with Benezia –”

Hackett raised an eyebrow as he sat next to her. “You took Liara along to kill her own mother?”

Lucy shrugged. “What was I supposed to do? She insisted.”

“All right, continue.”

“Anyway, we'd been talking about good memories from childhood, and that was about the time I realized most of my memories involved Kevin, not either of our parents.”

“So what would you like to know?”

She was quiet for a long time, nibbling at her food but mostly pushing it around the plate. Finally, she asked, “Was Mom happy?”

“I'm assuming you mean was she happy moving from the life she'd established in Texas to the unknown of Mindoir?”

Lucy nodded.

“She was... used to it.” Hackett sighed. “We moved a lot when I was growing up, after our own mother died. We didn't have a stable home life until we moved in with your grandparents after Michael and Mary got married. And after Kevin was born, they started moving a lot. They were still Earthbound, at least Mary and Kevin were, but it was still a strain. So when Michael decided on a fresh start outside of Texas after he finally left the Alliance, Mary didn't question it. She went along with it and hoped for the best.”

“So in other words, no, she wasn't happy on Mindoir.”

“Not entirely, no. Her dream most of her life had been to be a chef. She'd gone to culinary school before you were born, about the time Kevin started school, but couldn't find a job because they were still moving so much. But she'd been looking at restaurants to apply to once you started school. And then Michael decided to move again.” He shook his head. “That's why she spent so much time in the kitchen, teaching Kevin, and as you said years ago, _attempting_ to teach you. Because she wanted to pass her love of food and cooking on to her children. I don't know if she succeeded with Kevin, but I'd say she certainly succeeded with you, sweetheart.”

It was obvious from the look on Lucy's face that she had _never_ made that connection before. “I guess you're right,” she said after awhile. “It certainly wasn't from Dad; his idea of 'cooking' was opening a bag of chips and a bottle of beer. And Kevin cooked – hell, he taught me everything I didn't learn from watching Mom – but he never had the same passion she did.”

Hackett nodded. “That's what I suspected.”

Lucy smiled thoughtfully. “Thanks, Uncle Steven. Yesterday, I'd thought it was depressing as hell that I had so few memories of Mom, but it turned out I was just remembering the best times.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

“Fuck! I can't take this anymore!” Lucy shot up off the floor and started pacing the living room.

Zaeed paused in his cleaning of Jessie to raise an eyebrow at his wife. “You can't take _what_ anymore, sweetheart?”

“This,” she gestured wildly at him and the various reports she'd been reading, “this whole sitting around like everything is fucking _normal_ thing.”

He sighed and carefully set his beloved rifle on the coffee table. “Then what do you want to do?”

“I want to go out.”

“Since bloody when?”

She stopped pacing and glared at him. “Since my ship got locked fucking out so I'm fucking _useless_ ,” she growled. “I can't be cooped up in this apartment anymore. I just... can't.”

He wasn't really sure why he was questioning it. Going out would probably be good for her; on the other hand, it could lead to trouble. She'd been on edge, looking to blow off a massive amount of steam since the crew had returned from Virmire, less their Gunnery Chief, and then gotten the runaround from Udina and the Council about going after Saren.

“All right. You want to go out, we'll go out.” He held his hands up in surrender as he got up and walked over to wrap his arms around her. “Where d'you want to go?”

“Dunno. Crew is probably at Flux though.”

“Thought you said you didn't trust Wrex and me in the same space?”

She shrugged. “I don't, especially considering how on edge _he_ is, but it's a risk Doran is just going to have to take.” She lightly punched him in the chest. “And you are going to be _nice_ to both of them.”

“We'll see.” He grabbed her hand when she glared at him. “Under the circumstances, I'll _try_ to be nice to Wrex. But the volus owes me money. When he pays up, then I'll be nice.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

* * *

“Took you long enough,” Captain Anderson said when Lucy and Zaeed walked into the hall leading to Flux. “I didn't think you were ever going to show up.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “Did I actually tell somebody I was coming?”

“You didn't get my message then. Joker was supposed to tell you I wanted to meet.”

She shook her head. “I never got a message from you or Joker or anybody.”

“Damn.”

She gave Zaeed a final warning look to _be nice_ as he started for the entrance, and turned back to Anderson. “So what was it you wanted to talk about? And why here?”

“I've been trying to think of a plan ever since I heard what Udina did to you. I hate going home because he always finds me there. Flux seemed as good a place as any.”

“Better than Chora's Den anyway.”

Anderson nodded. “Exactly.”

“You could have come by our place,” she said as they walked into the club and sat at an out-of-the-way table in the corner.

“I know. I suppose though, given that you never received my message, it's better that I didn't.”

“True. So, you have a plan?”

He waved Jenna the waitress away without ordering. “I do. Two, actually.”

“All right. What's the outcome?”

“Getting your ship back.”

Lucy grinned. “Fire away, Captain.”

* * *

> _From: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: Normandy_
> 
> _Officially, I cannot condone Anderson's actions or you taking advantage of said actions._
> 
> _Unofficially, good luck and stay safe. We'll be waiting._
> 
> _-Uncle Steven_

* * *

As the Normandy headed for the Terminus Systems and the Mu Relay, Lucy sat in the cockpit with Joker, reading reports. The rest of the crew was busy getting their gear together in preparation for whatever they might find on Ilos. They already knew there was a chance they might not make it back, and when she'd told them Anderson's plan to override the lock-out, she'd told them that any or all of them could back out before they left.

Joker had said, “We've been with you this far. What makes you think we'd back out now? Besides, I've seen you drive. Not a chance in hell I'm letting you fly my ship.” The rest of the crew had nodded in agreement, on both points. And every single one of them had been on the ship when the override had gone through.

When the words on the screen started getting blurry, Lucy decided enough was enough and put the reports down. There probably wasn't anything in them, that they hadn't already come across, that would help them on Ilos anyway.

She sighed and shifted in her seat. “So, how's Brandi doing?”

“Hmm? Oh, she's good.” Joker glanced over at her. “She asks about you a lot. You two not talking anymore?”

“No, we still talk all the time. Probably just thinks she'll get some different answer out of you than she will me.”

“Doubt she does. I hardly ever tell her anything.”

“I know. So when are you two gonna be in the same general area again?”

“Next time I have shore leave, she's going to Arcturus with me.”

“She's never been? How could you have kept her away from your parents for five years?”

Joker shrugged. “Just the way it's worked out. Haven't met her dads either, not while we've been dating.”

“How the _hell_ is that possible?”

“Not in person, anyway. We've vid-chatted a few times.”

“Just wait. I'm not even their daughter and Zaeed got the fucking third degree from them. You are so dead.”

“I know.”

“Just wait 'til Hilary gets hold of Brandi.” Lucy grinned wickedly as she started humming the Wedding March under her breath.

“You are so... evil.”

She smirked. “Maybe, but you'd be bored without me.”

“Sadly, that is very true.” He opened ship-wide communications. “Okay, kids. This is it; we're hitting the Mu Relay in less than ten minutes.”

“Then on to the gates of Hell,” Lucy muttered as she wandered down to her locker to retrieve her armor and weapons. “Let the battle begin.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment, kudos and bookmark :)

A dislocated shoulder from being trapped under Wrex when the Mako crashed upside down onto the Citadel as well as several scars and innumerable bruises had been Lucy's _badge_ _s_ _of honor_ for finally defeating Saren. Her favorite krogan and her LT hadn't fared much better.

After being forced to endure several ceremonies and interviews, Zaeed had whisked her off to... she wasn't sure even _he_ knew exactly where the hell they were. They'd turned off their omni-tools and had been enjoying the sun in peace for last week and a half.

“Commander Shepard?”

_Of course it wasn't going to fucking last._

“No one here by that name.” Lucy didn't even bother opening her eyes to look at whoever had intruded on her privacy. “And besides, I'm on vacation, so go away.”

“Can't do that, ma'am.” The voice sounded... turian. What the hell? “I have a message from the Council.”

_Ah._

“If they wanted to talk to me so bad, they should have _sent_ a message. I won't tell you again, go away.”

“They did send a message.” The voice sounded extremely irritated now. “They sent several, in fact.”

“What the bloody hell was the point of turning off your omni-tool and going to the ass end of _nowhere_ if they were just going to send people after you anyway?” Zaeed grumbled from the other end of the hammock. “And you? Stop leering at my wife.”

Lucy's eyes snapped opened and she was on her feet with the turian backed against one of the hammock's supporting palm trees in less than 15 seconds. “Unless their message is that they have decided to _listen_ to me for once, then tell the Council to kiss my ass.”

“It's orders for you and your crew.” The turian seemed only slightly less pompous now. “You're to leave immediately.”

“As Udina keeps trying to drill into my head, I was a human long before I was a Spectre.”

He tentatively brought up his omni-tool. “Identical orders from Admiral Hackett.”

_Son of a –_

Lucy released her hold on the turian and backed up a few steps. “I guess he was the one who told you where I was?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you can tell both the Council and _the Admiral_ that I will follow these undoubtedly dumbass orders when my medically-mandated shore leave is over,” she snapped. “Not a second before.”

Zaeed stubbed out his cigar as he slid his pistol from the top of cooler beside him and aimed it at the turian. “Get the fuck off this island while you're still able to do it on your own.”

The intruder stared at them for a long minute before he snorted in derision and stalked off towards his shuttle, kicking sand up in his wake.

Lucy groaned as she sank back down into the hammock. “Remind me not to move that fast again for awhile.”

“Damn right,” Zaeed said, pulling her back against his chest. “You're supposed to be relaxing. Though I think Chakwas would have a bloody fit if she saw you sitting in a hammock right now.”

“Well, she's not here, and my back is fine, Z. So shush.” Lucy winced as she adjusted. “It's everything _else_ that hurts.”

“How the hell did the Council figure out where you were?” he muttered, more to himself than to her.

She shook her head and answered him anyway. “If it _was_ the Council that sent him, their information definitely didn't come from Uncle Steven. Those orders were to try to catch me off guard, send me packing early. It was probably STG, or the Shadow Broker.”

“STG, mostly likely. But never mind.” He swept her hair away from her face and laid a trail of kisses down the side of her neck to her uninjured shoulder. “If the bastards are smart, they'll leave you alone now.”

* * *

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Arcturus_
> 
> _From: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _16:03 SH: I know you spoke with the Council rep. Why didn't you leave with him?_
> 
> _16:10 LS: Because I didn't think Admiral Hackett bowed to the Council. The turian showed me your orders and I refused them._
> 
> _16:11 SH: You decided they were fake._
> 
> _16:12 LS: Bingo._
> 
> _16:14 SH: They're real. Get your ass to Arcturus ASAP._
> 
> _16:15 LS: That's just fucking wonderful. Now the Alliance is a puppet of the Council._
> 
> _16:17 SH: I had no choice in the matter. I'm sorry._
> 
> _16:19 LS: Just answer me this: were you the one that told them where we were?_
> 
> _16:20 SH: No. Never even asked me._
> 
> _16:21 LS: I'll be there in 24 hours, sir._
> 
> _16:21 User Has Disconnected._


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos :)

 

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Amada System_
> 
> _From: S. Hackett_
> 
> _To: Z. Massani_
> 
> _23:09 SH: Answer your damn vid-comm._
> 
> _23:15 ZM: No._
> 
> _23:16 SH: It's about Lucy._
> 
> _23:17 ZM: I know already._
> 
> _23:18 SH: Know what?_
> 
> _23:20 ZM: She's dead._
> 
> _23:21 SH: How? We just got the distress calls coming in less than an hour ago._
> 
> _23:22 ZM: She told me._
> 
> _23:24 SH: Come again?_
> 
> _23:27 ZM: She sent me a brief text chat about 45 minutes ago. Said the ship was under attack, that she was on her way up to get Joker, and not to blame him if she didn't make it. The connection was lost before I could respond._
> 
> _23:28 ZM: Now leave me alone. I've got work to do._
> 
> _23:30 SH: Your wife is dead and you're working?_
> 
> _23:33 ZM: Maybe. Or maybe I'm just bloody tired of talking to you._
> 
> _23:34 ZM: She asked me not to blame Joker, so I won't. N ever said a damn thing about not blaming you though ._
> 
> _23:35 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

In truth, Zaeed was only a few hours out from the Amada system himself. About the time that Lucy had been forced to cut their anniversary trip short to accommodate the idiot Council's paranoia, he'd received a tip from a trusted source that put Vido and his personal guard back on Omega. He'd been following them ever since.The group had left the station a few hours ago, only to end up on one of the layover stations orbiting Imorkan.

He was now holed up in a bar even more run-down than the Devil's Cure – in the darkest corner he could find – keeping an eye on Vido's men. The man himself had disappeared awhile ago, but he wasn't about to leave without his guard, so Zaeed had stayed where he was. They seemed to be waiting for something to happen, some signal from someone. Or maybe they were just the same type of lazy idiots he remembered from his time in the Suns.

The inactivity caused Zaeed's mind to wander back to Lucy and everything that had happened in the last few weeks. She'd been furious with Hackett, flat out refusing to speak to him unless forced to in an official capacity. He'd apologized numerous times but in the end, she just didn't care. In her eyes, she'd been nothing but a pawn in a game between the Alliance and the Council, and Hackett hadn't done a damn thing to stop it.

A change in conversation between the Suns at the table closest to him forced Zaeed back to the present in an instant.

“Boss said he's just waiting for word from his contact, then we move on Alchera immediately,” one said.

“Is it true that we're going after Shepard?” another asked.

“'S what he said.”

“Who's the job for?”

“Shadow Broker,” the first man said in a low voice, failing to notice Zaeed as he looked around for anyone listening in. “Doubt he would have taken the job if it wasn't Shepard though. Boss don't like workin' for the Broker. Too many strings, he says.”

“What the fuck is so special about Shepard? She hasn't done anything to the Suns in years.”

“Dunno. Boss just said he was finally going to get his hands on her.”

 _Vido's going to be goddamn disappointed then_ , Zaeed thought, swallowing a shot of whiskey. He wouldn't put it past the Shadow Broker to have had some hand in Lucy's death, and therefore have some reason for wanting her body. Whatever the case, he didn't want to think what Vido was likely to do once he found out she was dead. Unless he already knew.

Either way, Zaeed intended to stop it.

* * *

 

> _Inter-relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Omega_
> 
> _From: Liara T'Soni_
> 
> _To: Zaeed Massani_
> 
> _16:13 LT: Meet me in Afterlife. We need to talk._
> 
> _16:20 ZM: Can't. I'm busy._
> 
> _16:21 LT: It is about Shepard._
> 
> _16:22 ZM: Figured that._
> 
> _16:23 ZM: But I'm following Vido. His men mentioned her, and the Shadow Broker._
> 
> _16:24 ZM: Know anything about that?_
> 
> _16:25 LT: Yes._
> 
> _16:26 ZM: Shit._
> 
> _16:28 LT: I can help keep her away from the Shadow Broker._
> 
> _16:30 ZM: How?_
> 
> _16:32 LT: Meet me and I can explain that and more._
> 
> _16:33 ZM: I can't stop following Vido. I don't trust him not to do a double-cross. He just this side of stupid enough to do it._
> 
> _16:34 LT: I see._
> 
> _16:36 LT: Where are you now?_
> 
> _16:37 ZM: Enroute to Alchera. Why?_
> 
> _16:38 LT: If the Suns actually do their part, you will be on Omega in a few hours._
> 
> _16:39 LT: Good luck._
> 
> _16:40 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

“So what's this plot of yours, T'Soni?” Zaeed growled, eying Liara's drell companion with suspicion. “You said you'd keep Lucy out of the Shadow Broker's hands, yet you're trusting one of his agents to _help_ you.”

“Feron is a double agent.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes. “And I thought Vido was stupid.”

“I know it's a risk,” the drell said defensively. “But worth it to keep Commander Shepard out of the hands of the Reapers.”

“What the hell are you two playing at? You said this ended with the Shadow Broker, T'Soni.”

“Actually, I said nothing of the kind,” Liara retorted lightly. “I do not know if there is another _middle man_ after the Broker, but ultimately, we know Shepard was to be delivered to the Reapers.”

Zaeed frowned. “Why?”

“I do not know why, but I intend to find out.” She put a hand on his arm. “There is something else you should know.”

“What's that?” he asked apprehensively.

“Feron and I are not the only ones working against the Shadow Broker's agents.”

“And?”

“We are working with them. We intend to help retrieve Shepard's body from the Blue Suns and they will take her from there.”

“Like hell,” he growled. “Only place Lucy's going is with me.”

“Perhaps I can explain this better than Dr. T'Soni can.” Zaeed looked past Liara to the pale dark-haired woman who had just entered the room. She held out a hand, which he blatantly ignored. “Miranda Lawson. I work for –”

“Cerberus, I know. You may think your logo is a secret, but it's not.” He shook his head. “Just get to the goddamn point, Lawson. I assume we don't have a lot of time to stand around chatting like school girls.”

“Charming,” Miranda muttered. “As for my _point_ , we have an experiment in place that we believe can bring Commander Shepard back to life.”

“She spent the better part of a year trying to take Cerberus down. This should be a happy day for you,” Zaeed spat out bitterly.

“Simply put, the man I work for believes her claims about the Reapers. He believes that with Shepard dead, the galaxy is all but lost already.”

“So, self-preservation. Figures.” He rolled his eyes. “Supposing I believe that all this mad-science malarkey works, I have to assume there would be a massive amount of strings attached.”

“She would be working with us, if that's what you mean.”

“Yes, that's what I goddamn meant,” he snapped. “I can't imagine she would be thrilled to be working with terrorists.”

“We are _not_ –” The sound of a gunshot nearby startled them all and interrupted the rest of Miranda's protest. She looked Zaeed dead in the eye. “I need an answer, Massani. We wait any longer, the Broker's agents will take possession of Shepard's body and this entire conversation will have been bloody pointless.”

He hesitated only a moment before he nodded once. “Let's go.”

If Lucy hated him for it, so be it. Working for Cerberus was a far better fate than anything the Reapers had in store for her. Assuming this supposed experiment worked and she was alive to hate him in the first place.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments and kudos :)

“Sir, she's not here.”

Zaeed glanced over at the marine who was hovering above Admiral Hackett as he sifted through parts of the Normandy's wreckage.

“What the hell do you mean she's not here?” Hackett snapped at the young woman. “I've got her dog tags in my hand!”

“I-I'm sorry, sir. We have accounted for the dog tags and bodies of the other twenty crew members. Commander Shepard's body is not here.”

“We found her breather helmet,” a second marine said as he made his way over.

Zaeed stared at the heavily-damaged helmet, N7 logo visible on the side, and tried not to think about what Lucy had likely gone through in her last moments. He tightly clutched her wedding rings in his hand in an attempt to keep his composure and continued looking through what was left of the Captain's Quarters. He'd been surprised when he'd found both her rings and dog tags relatively close together. The dog tags that he'd immediately pressed into Hackett's hand without a word were nearly as damaged as the helmet, but the rings, though now fused together, were only slightly warped.

Standing as he picked up a semi-charred picture of himself and Lucy taken by a waiter their first night on Corfu, Zaeed waved Hackett over. “I'm finished here, heading back to Omega.”

The Admiral nodded but followed him when he walked into his shuttle. “We need to talk,” he said as he took off his helmet.

“You have a topic in mind?” Zaeed cracked his neck as he took off his own helmet. “Because I can't honestly think of a damn thing to say to you.”

“Just stop, Massani.” Hackett sighed and sank into one of the seats along the side wall of the shuttle. “Lucy wouldn't want us at each other's throats, or more correctly you at mine.”

“That's funny, because thanks to you, no one knows _what_ she wants,” Zaeed snapped as he walked forward and sat in the pilot's chair, spinning it around to face the cabin.

“My hands were tied, sending her on that mission. What the hell was I –”

“Save it, _Admiral_. I've heard it all before.”

Hackett narrowed his eyes. “Here's a _topic_ for you. You don't seem upset or at all surprised that Lucy's body wasn't here. Why?”

“Who said I'm not?”

“You're usually the first to fly off the handle at anything that goes wrong involving Lucy.”

“You make me sound like a goddamn savage. I can control my emotions when necessary. Couldn't have made it as a mercenary otherwise.” Zaeed stood up and crossed his arms. “Now, get the hell out of my shuttle.”

Hackett seemed to be considering some other argument before he finally gave up. “Memorial is next week on the Citadel,” he said, standing beside the shuttle door, ready to put his helmet back on. “I assume you won't be there?”

“You assume correctly. You can have your pompous services and all, trying to show the galaxy that the Alliance and the Council didn't abandon the Commander who'd just saved all their asses. I'll be as far away from your political bullshit as I can get, remembering my wife.”

* * *

_“With rare exception, everyone gathered here today knew Commander Shepard only as that, one of the most dedicated soldiers in the history of the Alliance. But there was another side to her that she hid from all but her closest friends. I count myself fortunate that I was one of those allowed to see that side. She wasn't typical of those who come from military families...”_

Hours after the actual memorial had ended, the news vids still showed nothing else but Hackett's damn eulogy. Zaeed sat in his usual booth in the Devil's Cure, trying to drown out the speech he'd damn near memorized by now. He probably should have just stayed home, but he wasn't entirely sure he trusted himself to be alone at the moment.

“Dan, turn that shit off, would you?” he drawled without bothering to see if Dan was even still behind the bar. The sound was immediately muted, though the vid was still playing. “Thank you.”

“I already saw it live, don't need a repeat performance,” said a familiar voice that was wholly out of place in the dingy bar. “Mind if I join you?”

Zaeed glanced up with a frown. “Moreau? What the hell are you doing here?” He gestured to the seat across from him. “Sit.”

“I hitched a ride with Wrex after the memorial.” Joker gingerly sat down with his bottle of beer. “I couldn't... I just had to get the hell away from everything. Figured Omega would be a nice break from it all, but apparently I was wrong.”

“No, usually there's nothing Alliance-friendly about this place. Just the way I like it. Keeps certain Admirals at bay,” Zaeed said, nodding toward the screen where Hackett was still droning on and on. He raised an eyebrow at Joker. “How'd you know about this place?”

“Wrex. He said you'd probably be here instead of one of the bigger bars.”

“So you came to see me specifically?”

Joker traced his thumbnail along the logo on the bottle in front of him, silent for awhile before he looked back up at Zaeed. “I've been avoiding you for the last week. In person wasn't hard since I was _restricted_ to Alliance space for a bit, we all were. But I couldn't even bring myself to send you a message or anything. So yeah, I came here looking for you. I... just wanted to say I'm sorry. It was my fault Lucy was still on the ship when it got hit the last time. She should have been on the shuttle with Alenko and Adams long before that.”

“I can see why she asked me not to blame you,” Zaeed said after a moment. “Because she knew you were going to beat yourself up about it. Look, you know damn well that if she'd been in your place – God help us all – she would have been just as stubborn, wanting to save the ship, as you were. And I know you would have done the same goddamn thing she did.”

Joker nodded. “Yeah, you're probably right. Still, I just felt... _feel_... so guilty. Never should have happened; she's the one who should be sitting here with you, not me.”

“'Course it never should have happened. You lot never should have been out here in the first place; Alliance ships don't do well in the Terminus.”

“Obviously.” Joker tapped his bottle on the table and stood up. “I'm out. You need a refill?”

Zaeed shook his head. “I've been nursing this same bottle of whiskey for hours, 'bout when the memorial originally started.” He sighed. “I'm doing it for Lucy. Don't want to turn into a drunk like her old man did.”

When the pilot came back to the table, he set a drink in front of Zaeed before he resumed his seat with an identical drink in addition to a second beer. “From Dan. Said something about if we actually wanted to do Lucy's memory justice, we should drink the way she did.”

Zaeed glanced up at the bar and flipped off the smirking bartender. “Never understood how she could drink this shit,” he muttered as he picked up the highball glass with the orange liquid in it.

Joker rolled his eyes. “It won't kill you to drink one non-alcoholic drink in your life, Massani. Might even do you some good.”

“Right,” Zaeed scoffed. He lifted the glass and took a deep breath. “To Lucy.”

“To Lucy.” Joker grinned as he set his empty glass down on the table. “Wherever she is right now, she's laughing her ass off at the look on your face, Massani.”

“Shut it.” Zaeed looked critically at Joker. “So, you've found me, we've talked. What the hell do you plan to do now?”

“Fuck if I know. Only one who knows where I went is Hilary and –”

“Which means the whole bloody Alliance knows by now.”

Joker shrugged. “They grounded me and there's talk about splitting up the rest of the crew. So right now, I don't give a shit what the Alliance thinks.”

“So you're just going to hang out here indefinitely?”

“You have a better idea?”

A _breaking news bulletin_ flashed across the vid screen above the bar. As Zaeed turned away, a name caught his eye and he called for Dan to turn the sound back up.

“– _crashed en route to Arcturus after the memorial service for Commander Shepard. Of the sixteen people aboard the shuttle, four are confirmed dead, including Dr. Diane Carlson, wife of Major James Carlson. Their son Anthony is among three people still unaccounted for.”_

“That _can't_ be a coincidence,” Joker said.

“Agreed.” Zaeed drank the last of his bottle of whiskey. “So, if you're up for a little off-the-radar flying, I definitely have a better idea.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos and bookmark :)

“Massani.” The C-Sec captain tapped sharply on the bars of the holding cell. “You're up.”

Zaeed glanced up at the captain. “Who the hell posted bail?”

Admiral Hackett stepped into the room. “No one did, yet.”

“Fuck that.” Zaeed turned over to face the wall. “Just leave me here to rot.”

“Don't fucking tempt me,” Hackett growled. “Bailey, leave us for a minute.”

Bailey nodded and walked back to his desk.

Hackett leaned against the wall across from the cell and crossed his arms. ““Give me one good reason I should get you released.” He held up a hand when Zaeed started to speak. “No, forget that. Just tell me what the hell you were even doing here. You've made it perfectly fucking clear that you wanted nothing to do with any official memorials for Lucy.”

Z aeed snorted derisively. “I wouldn't bloody be here  today if it hadn't been... necessary.”

“So you were working.” Hackett shook his head. “Typical.”

“You asked, I answered. Not that you give a shit, but I was tracking Tony Carlson.”

Hackett looked surprised. “Still? Everyone, including his father, gave him up for dead six months ago.”

“That's exactly what he wanted to happen.” Zaeed turned back to face the front of the cell and sat up. “He disappeared for a few months until he wasn't on anyone's radar anymore. He thought it was safe to come out of hiding and started going on a tour of every place, except Arcturus, that was even remotely connected to Lucy.”

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “And yet you haven't caught him?”

“We've been tracking him for a year, since the crash. Lost him for awhile then caught up to him on Mindoir, and again on Elysium.”

“What hap– who's _we_?”

Z aeed sighed. “Joker.”

“Not at all what I was expecting you to say. But I had wondered what he'd been up to; Alliance lost track of him after the memorial and his parents said they haven't heard from him since then either, though Hilary apparently gives them nondescript updates.”

“Yeah, he messages her every once in awhile, just to let her know he's still alive. And then she turns around and sends me what she thinks are _threatening_ messages,  to keep him safe or else.”

Hackett smirked.  “ Sounds about right.  S he did the same thing  to Anderson  a few times during the Normandy's shakedown cruise.”  H e looked around the other holding cells. “So where's Joker now?”

Z aeed shrugged. “ He got a Dear John a few weeks back and split just before the ceremony on Elysium. If I had to guess, I'd say  he's in either  New York or Texas.”

“Jesus. I was sure he and Brandi would make it.”

“Their relationship has been beyond strained since the Normandy went down. And being out of contact with damn near everyone didn't really help.”

“Probably not, no.”

“So, you planning to let me out or are we gonna sit here talking all night?” Zaeed asked after a prolonged silence.

“Well, you still haven't fully answered my question of what the hell you were doing on the Citadel in the first place.”

“Technically, I did.”

Hackett rolled his eyes. “Fine. Then answer me this: if you've been after Tony since the moment he escaped the crash, why the hell haven't you caught him yet?”

“Aside from the fact that we fucking lost him for about six months?” Zaeed sighed heavily. “Because I fucking underestimated the bastard. I figured this time, with Lucy gone, he'd be unstable and make mistakes. He's bloody unstable all right, but he seems more _focused_ than usual.”

“What do you mean?”

“He's hunting. He refuses to believe Lucy's dead, thinks she faked her death – he thinks she, or the Alliance, actually faked the Normandy explosion – to get away from him.”

“Can't say I'm all that surprised, to be honest.”

“I should have fucking seen it coming; the level of obsession he had with her over the years, her death was bound to make him snap. And he's more dangerous than ever. He's already proved he won't be going down easy this time.”

Hackett nodded slightly but didn't respond, instead calling for Bailey to open the cell.

“Thanks,” Zaeed muttered as he got up and limped after the Admiral. The long hours lying on the metal bench in the holding cell hadn't done his stiff muscles any favors. “Listen. I'm sorry for –”

Hackett held up a hand to stop him. “No apologies necessary. It's been a rough year for all of us. We've both said things we probably shouldn't have said.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So, what happened today?” Hackett asked as they walked to the skyport. “Getting beat all to hell and arrested isn't usually part of your _process_ , is it?”

Zaeed scoffed. “'Course not. I cornered Tony in that club that opened where Chora's Den used to be. Bastard picked a fight with a couple of krogan, which naturally turned into a goddamn brawl. He managed to duck out in the middle of it, though not unscathed. C-Sec took everybody in that was still in the club when they arrived, whether they'd been involved in the brawl or not.”

“Damn sneaky bastard. What's your next move?”

“Not a bloody clue.” Zaeed growled in frustration. “This was the closest I'd come to getting my hands on him in months. Knowing my luck, he's gonna go to ground again and it'll be another long while before I find him.” He shook his head. “For the moment, about all I can do is step back, make him think he's on his own again.”

* * *

> _From: Joker_
> 
> _To: Zaeed_
> 
> _Subj: New Job_
> 
> _Heard through the grapevine about what happened on the Citadel. Sorry I missed it; not that I would have done a hell of a lot of good._
> 
> _I got an offer for a new job. Won't start for awhile though, so if you still need a pilot, I'm available for at least the next few months. Let me know._
> 
> – _Joker_


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

Zaeed walked into the Devil's Cure and groaned as he took a spot at the bar. That last bounty hadn't been the easy pick-up he'd been promised, but he shouldn't have expected anything else when it came to a goddamn batarian. He raised an eyebrow at the drink Dan set in front of him before he'd even uttered a word.

“Some woman was in here earlier, said she'd set up a meeting with you about a job? Knew your usual order too.”

“'Some' woman, Dan?” Zaeed scoffed. “You're gonna have to be a lot more bloody specific than that.”

Dan shrugged. “She's about a head shorter than you, has short black curly hair, some wicked scarring on her face.”

“That could be... just about any woman in the Terminus,” Zaeed muttered into his whiskey.

“She also said if you were being a stubborn idiot, I should give you this too.” Dan set a second drink on the bar.

Zaeed stared at the familiar orange liquid in the high ball glass and then glared at Dan. “Is this a bloody joke? You know why it's been _two goddamn years_ since I've been in here, Dan? Because there are too many memories of Lucy attached to this place. Only fucking reason I'm here right now is –”

“Hey, don't shoot the fucking messenger,” Dan interrupted. He gestured to the opposite corner. “You want to yell at somebody, yell at her. She's right over there, other end of the bar.”

Zaeed glanced over to where Dan was pointing and swore under his breath.

It was Lucy. And from the smug look on Dan's face, he'd known that already.

Her hair was much shorter than it had been, and from what he could see, she had lost all her tattoos and the scars she'd earned from her years as a marine, but there was no mistaking the voice Zaeed heard as she responded to something Joker said.

_So this_ _is_ _his new mystery job._

Zaeed had asked a million questions a million times, but Joker had refused to say more than it was a more stable job than bounty hunting. He'd finally been _called up_ a few weeks ago.

Now Zaeed wondered just how long Lucy had been... alive. But his always-present cynical side butted in, reminding him that just because she _looked_ like Lucy and _sounded_ like Lucy didn't mean she actually was.

He growled at the inner dialogue that continued to feed the doubts and insecurities he'd had since that night outside of Afterlife when he'd given Lucy up for the Cerberus experiment.

_She's with Joker _,_ _ one side of his brain reasoned. _It has to be her._

_So? He's not as careful as you are_ _,_ another side retorted. _He could have been fooled by an imposter._

_Not a chance. They've got secrets even you don't know_ , the first side said defensively.   _And Cerberus isn't going to want a copy of her. They're going to want the real her. _

_She's in a bar,_ the second side shot back weakly. _Lucy never goes to bars._

_She never_ _goes to bars_ _alone_ _,_ the first, less-pessimistic side corrected triumphantly. _She's not alone._

_Still..._

Zaeed knew the instant that Joker saw him, as the pilot began stammering almost incoherently as he got up and backed away.

“I-I gotta... just remembered... parts.... engineers need them... markets. Bye!”

“What the f– ” Lucy spun around to find out what had made Joker leave so quickly. Her eyes, that perfect shade of pale gray that he'd always loved, opened wide as she saw Zaeed. “ H-hi. ” She chewed her lip nervously and didn't make any move toward him. “I wasn't sure if you would actually come here or...” she trailed off, looking down at her hands.

Zaeed said nothing. His head and his heart were still warring, one needing to know she was his Lucy, the other wanting to do that by threading his fingers through her hair as he kissed her. He was also waiting for her to start yelling at him for giving her over to Cerberus. Then again, maybe she didn't know.

She seemed to sense his hesitation. “Kevin let me get a tattoo on my sixteenth birthday – the same one he and Dad and Uncle Steven had – a cross with Mom's initials and dates inside,” she said after awhile. She looked into his eyes before continuing quietly, “You personally added Kevin and Dad's initials and dates to it, during what Uncle Steven assumed was my first how not to knife myself lesson.”

“The lessons you goddamn conned me into giving you.” Zaeed smiled at the memory . He pulled her off of her bar stool, into his arms and his lips found hers in a heated kiss. “You have no idea how much I missed you these last two years, Luce,” he said when they finally broke apart, both slightly breathless.

“I wanted to see you, but I... Joker wouldn't tell me _anything_ , and I thought maybe that meant you had...” Her voice trailed off into silence.

His heart clenched painfully at the uncertainty in her eyes. “ That I'd forgotten you? Moved on?” He kissed her again, more gently but with no less passion. “Never.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

“So.” Lucy looped her arm through Zaeed's as they walked the short distance from the Devil's Cure to his apartment. “You wouldn't happen to have _any_ idea why Joker took off like a bat out of hell when he saw you just now, would you?”

He shook his head. “Not a goddamn clue.”

She smirked. “You're completely innocent, right?”

“Completely.”

“You haven't been threatening him for the last two years, have you?”

He rolled his eyes. “'Course not. The opposite, actually.”

She frowned. “What exactly is the opposite of threatening?”

“We've been... working together.”

She stopped in her tracks. “Since when is Joker a bounty hunter?”

“He's _not_ , not really.” Zaeed shrugged. “Alliance grounded him after the Normandy went down. He came to see me after the memorial and I talked him into being my pilot.”

“And you used to say _I_ was the bad influence,” Lucy muttered. “At least I never talked anybody into going AWOL.”

“He was already on his way out. Pissed off about being grounded, feeling guilty over...” He sighed. “It had only been a week, but I could see the guilt was eating away at him. He looked like he was just _done_ , like he just didn't give a fuck about anything anymore. I didn't want him to end up like your old man, living out of a goddamn bottle. Figured we could keep each other honest, or... something.”

“Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. “That is one of the sweetest things you've ever done.”

“If you say so. Think it may have contributed to his troubles with Brandi though.”

“True, he probably could have visited more, but from what he's said, they were already on the rocks before the Normandy went down. At least they're still talking. Maybe she'll come around eventually.”

Zaeed shook his head. “Don't count on it, sweetheart. They've been _talking_ for a whole goddamn year now.”

Lucy sighed. “You may be right. Too bad; I really liked them together.”

“Yeah.”

“So, if y'all had been working together for so long, why the hell would he be scared of you now?”

“Might have something to do with the fact that he never told me he was going to Cerberus. He told me he had a new job but wouldn't tell me anything about it. Then again, I never told him...” Zaeed trailed off into silence as they arrived at his front door.

“You never told him what?” Lucy glanced up. “Wait. This isn't your apartment.”

“It is now,” he said as he gently shoved her through the open door. “Couldn't stay in the other... too many memories. Had to get the hell out.”

She took a long look around the living room while he shed his armor. It wasn't all that different from his other apartment, just slightly smaller. Her eyes widened as they fell on a familiar picture, sitting beside his terminal.

“You were... you went to Alchera.” She picked up the photo, now charred around the edges. “What was it like?”

“Goddamn horrifying. That picture and these,” he pulled a chain with her wedding rings out from under his t-shirt and dropped it into her hand, “were just about the least damaged things in the whole scene.”

She turned the rings over in her hand. “They were... on my desk. _In_ my desk, actually. I never wore them except when I was with you, though usually they were on the chain with my dog tags.” She looked up to see Zaeed watching her carefully. “Did you find them too?”

He nodded. “Melted almost beyond recognition. I could just barely make out the beginning of _Shepard_ and a couple of the numbers in your ID.”

She slipped the chain around her neck. “Where are they now?”

“Gave 'em to your uncle. Anything with the Alliance's stamp of approval, he's got it.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “So you haven't been threatening Joker the last two years, just arguing with Uncle Steven at every turn.”

“Not the entire two years, no. We came to some sort of tense understanding about a year ago.”

“And does he know that you gave me up to Cerberus?”

Zaeed seemed to be at an uncharacteristic complete loss for words as he gawked at her.

She smirked. “I said _Joker_ wouldn't tell me anything, and really only about you. Never said anybody else was silent.”

“Lawson.” He looked extremely nervous, like he was debating whether or not to make a run for it before the yelling started.

Lucy's smirk relaxed into a smile. “I'm not angry, honey. Honestly.” She took his hand and pulled him over to sit on the couch. “Can't say I wasn't a _little_ surprised, but that had a hell of a lot to do with...” She swallowed hard. “When the last thing you see is your ship disintegrating around you, and you know you're dead, it's really fucking disorienting to... _wake up_ again.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “Wish I could say I don't know the feeling, sweetheart.”

“I know.” She shifted around to straddle his lap. “I may not exactly _like_ being with Cerberus, but it won't be forever.”

“Good. I have plans for us to celebrate when we're shot of them.”

“Do these plans involve a beach?” she asked with a grin, already knowing the answer.

“Naturally. We're going to find the most remote fucking island on Earth and spend the rest of our lives in peace in a hammock.”

“Sounds perfect. Which means it'll never last.”

“'Course not, but a man can bloody dream.”

“Keep reminding me of that dream; maybe it'll keep up the _positive attitude_ Doc says I need to make these fucking things,” she gestured to the scars on her face, “disappear on their own.”

He lightly ran the back of a knuckle over one near her left eye. “Do they hurt?”

“They look like they should, but no. Not anymore, anyway.” She sighed. “I wouldn't actually care about them at all – I was kind of attached to the ones I used to have – but they're not just on my face. They're... everywhere. Makes me feel like a fucking jigsaw puzzle.”

“Look who you're talking to, Lucy. I might as well be the goddamn definition of a human jigsaw.”

“You haven't actually fucking seen mine,” she said bitterly. “They –”

He silenced her further protests with a kiss. “Will you _let_ me see them?”

She shrugged. “Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you when you run screaming out that door.”

He shook his head as he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. “You really think that little of me?”

“No.” She bounced a little when he deposited her on the bed. “I just think I'm that –”

“Goddamn gorgeous,” he said firmly.

She scoffed as she slipped her long-sleeve black t-shirt over her head and scooted to the edge of the bed to shimmy out of her jeans and boots. When she was left in nothing but bra and panties, she quickly wrapped her arms around her middle in a vain attempt to hide the worst of the scars that criss-crossed her stomach.

He sighed and pulled her arms away as he pulled her to her feet. He knelt down in front of her, mapping out each scar with his fingers, followed by his lips. Then he stood, slowly turned her around and repeated the process with the scars on her back.

She shivered when he ran his fingers and tongue up the length of her spine as he stood once more.

“Goddamn gorgeous,” he repeated, ghosting his lips across her shoulder and up her neck.

“Liar.”

“Never.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

Lucy swore under her breath and crawled across the snoring man next to her to reach her beeping omni-tool. She settled with the 'tool and her arms folded on Zaeed's chest before she hit the button to answer the hail.

More swearing ensued as she actually read the name of the sender.

“This better be really fucking important, Lawson,” she snapped as her XO appeared on the tiny screen.

“Shepard, where the bloody...” Miranda raised one perfectly-shaped eyebrow. “I see someone's gotten past their little freak-out over their scars.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Ye who has never had a scar in her fucking life, shut it. But yes, I guess I have. 'Sides, no sense hiding them from you; you're the one who gave 'em to me.” She glanced at the time and groaned. “So, what the hell could you possibly want at 0530?”

Miranda ignored her question and asked one of her own. “Is that how you _normally_ go about recruiting people for your missions, by fucking them? Not that I'd be all that surprised with Massani,” she muttered  as an apparent afterthought.

Lucy  scoffed . “Hardly. I let my charm and charisma work in my favor,  something you'd know  _nothing_ about .” She smirked as she added, “ So  the Illusive Man never  told you?  I'm positive he knows. ”

“Oh please. I've got more charm in my pinkie than... Told me what?”

“My deep dark secret.” Lucy laughed at the horrified look on Miranda's face.

“Is there a reason I'm being used as a goddamn table?” Zaeed growled as he slowly opened his eyes and looked at Lucy. She grinned and he glanced at the screen. “Fuckin' hell. It's too bloody early in the morning for this. Go away, Lawson.”

“I... but...” Lucy feigned a pout as he disconnected the call and tossed her omni-tool back on the bedside table. “You know she might have had something _really important_ to tell me.”

He  pulled her up in his arms so that she was laying more on  top of him than  on  the bed. “Not at this time of the morning she didn't.”

“Why the hell is she even up right now? In the three days I've been... active, she hasn't bothered me before 0900.”

“Three days?”

“Yeah. I was busy dodging mechs for two of those days, then there was a Cerberus agent missing in one of the systems near here, so we went to investigate that before we came here.” She shrugged. “It was on the way, we took out an Eclipse base in the process and I have info from the dead agent that could bring down Cerberus if I wanted to, so all in all, a win.”

“Did you go to Alchera?”

She shook her head. “Dr. Chakwas suggested it, said it might do me and Joker some good, but he won't fly anywhere near it and flat-out refuses to ride shotgun if I'm flying the shuttle. And I sure as hell wasn't going alone.”

Zaeed pushed her untamed hair out her eyes and kissed her. “If you want to go, I'll go with you.”

“I know. I might, someday, but at the moment it's still too fresh in my mind. It's two years gone for the rest of y'all, but it's, well, about three days ago for me.”

“In those three days, have you talked to your uncle?”

“Nope. I've seen exactly four people I know... five if you count Dan I guess.”

“Who's the last one? Myself, Joker, Dr. Chakwas... Dan if we're being generous, and...?”

“Tali. First place Miranda, Jacob and I went after we escaped the Lazarus station, before I'd even seen Joker, was Freedom's Progress. It was the Illusive Man's way of showing me what's been happening to the human colonies. Anyway, Tali was there, looking for a quarian who'd been on his pilgrimage.”

“Did she find him?”

Lucy nodded. “Yeah. He was the _only_ living thing left in that colony, 'til we all showed up.” She rolled to the edge of the bed, snagging Zaeed's t-shirt and pulling it over her head. “Had a bit of an argument with Miranda, since she wanted to keep the kid for a bit, to find out what he knew. She's having a hard time adjusting to not being in charge anymore.”

“It'll be nothing if not entertaining then, this mission.” He pulled on his jeans and followed her into the kitchen to make coffee. “So, _are_ you going to talk to the Admiral? Ever?”

“Haven't decided yet.”

“Lucy.”

She glanced at him over her shoulder as she rummaged through his nearly-bare fridge. “Did you even _eat_ in these last two years?”

“Not here, no. Then again, I haven't been here that much.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her away from the fridge. “He's _family_ , Luce. You have to –”

“'Family means everything to me and I will do anything to protect them,'” she muttered, shifting Zaeed around so she could pour coffee. “What a load of crap.”

He put a hand over hers and pried the coffee pot from her grip, setting it on the counter before he turned her  back  around to face him.  “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“It was  something Uncle Steven said to me the night he picked me up on Mindoir.” She leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms. “He said he didn't know where Kevin's ideas that he didn't care about the family had come from.  And u p until the day I left to meet the Normandy for that last mission, I believed him.”

“ So you're possibly not going to tell him you're alive because...”

“Well, let's see. He bowed to the fucking Council and sent us on that mission, when he easily could have told them to go to hell.  _ I _ was a Spectre, yes. But my crew, they were still Alliance, still  _ his responsibility _ .  Doesn't matter for me, since I'm still here. But those twenty other crew members, their families aren't that fucking lucky, are they?”

“He's going to find out eventually, sweetheart.”

“Technically, I already told him.” She  chewed her bottom lip for a minute . “Just not to his face and didn't actually say that it was me.”

Zaeed raised an eyebrow. “How's that now?”

“The information I got off that dead Cerberus agent? I kept it myself but also sent Uncle Steven a copy anonymously. Ish.”

“It's too bloody early in the morning for riddles, Lucy.”

She rolled her eyes and went back to the bedroom to retrieve her omni-tool, opening it to show him the note she'd attached to the information packet: _A gift for the Alliance, even if_ _you_ _don't fucking deserve it_ _. –_ _LJM_

“And this is anonymous how? You fucking signed it.”

“Of course _you_ recognize that, but I have never once signed anything I sent to him with _those_ initials. It was always LS.”

“Doesn't mean he won't recognize them.” The terminal in the living room went off. A vid-comm hail from Admiral Hackett. “See? Go put clothes on. You're going to fucking talk to him.”

Lucy rolled her eyes again as she walked back into the bedroom and quickly redressed in the t-shirt and jeans she'd worn the night before. She ran her fingers through her hair as she stood in the doorway, listening to the conversation in the living room.

“No, it's legit. I met up with her last night. And I've spent the last twenty fucking minutes trying to convince her to talk to you.”

“She's there now? And you're absolutely positive it's actually her, not a clone or something?”

“Yes. You really think I would have brought her back to my place if I wasn't?”

“Suppose not. Why have you been having to _convince_ her to talk to me?”

“Think about it. As she put it, it's been two years for us, only a few days for her. She's still fucking pissed at you for sending her on that mission. Or more correctly, that you sent her _crew_ on that mission.”

“What the hell was she going to do without them, take the Normandy by herself? Damn ship still would have –”

“The fact that I suck at driving and flying is your own damn fault,” Lucy said as she finally stepped into the living room. “You're the one who taught me.”

“So I did,” he said with a small smile.

“Be nice,” Zaeed whispered in her ear before he walked back to the bedroom, leaving her alone to talk with her skeptical-looking uncle.

She sat cross-legged in the desk chair and spun around a couple of times as she tried to think of something to say. Everything that came to mind sounded stupid or forced in her head.

Hackett finally broke the silence. “Where did you get the information you sent? I can't imagine the Illusive Man just had it lying around for you to find. Or that he'll be overjoyed when he finds out you forwarded it to the Alliance.”

“It was on a Cerberus agent I was supposed to _rescue_ from Eclipse mercs. Either rescue him or retrieve his information, and he was _long_ dead before we got to him. As for the Illusive Man, he knows it's going to take more than funding the project that brought me back to life and giving me a shiny new ship to turn me into a loyal little lap dog like Miranda.”

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “You make it sound like there's still a possibility of that happening.”

Lucy scoffed. “Don't be stupid. There is absolutely _nothing_ he could say or do that would make me join Cerberus of my own free will.”

“Glad to hear it.” He hesitated before he asked, “Will you rejoin the Alliance when you're done with Cerberus?”

“I really can't think of a compelling reason why I should,” she said quietly. “I'm not in the habit of giving those who betray my trust the chance to do it again.”

“Lucy –”

“Good-bye, Uncle Steven.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments :)

> _From: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _To: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _Subj: re: Dinner?_
> 
> _Fine. As long as you swear not to mention me rejoining the Alliance. Or just don't mention the Alliance at all. One hint of it and I walk. Deal?_
> 
> _-Lucy_
> 
>  
> 
> _From: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: Deal_
> 
> _See you at 19:45._
> 
> _-Uncle Steven_

* * *

> _Text Chat_
> 
> _From: S. Hackett_
> 
> _To: Z. Massani_
> 
> _20:50 SH: Did Lucy change her mind about dinner?_
> 
> _20:55 ZM: You mean she's not with you?_
> 
> _20:56 SH: Would I be asking if she was?_
> 
> _20:56 SH: She was supposed to meet me at my apartment over an hour ago._
> 
> _20:57 ZM: Shit._
> 
> _20:59 ZM: I haven't actually seen her since the bloody disaster of a meeting with Anderson this morning._
> 
> _21:00 SH: And that didn't concern you?_
> 
> _21:02 ZM: Not at all. We went in opposite directions. Vakarian and I went to the gun range. Lucy's been out shopping with Lawson all day. But she sent me a message about five hours ago, said they were done and she was heading out for the second session for her new tattoo before dinner._
> 
> _21:03 SH: I see._
> 
> _21:04 ZM: Did you send her a message asking where she was?_
> 
> _21:05 SH: Several. All unanswered._
> 
> _21:06 ZM: I'll send her one and see if I can find out what the hell happened._
> 
> _21:06 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

“You seem to be quite popular tonight, Shepard. That's five messages from your uncle and... oh, we have a new player. Zaeed Massani. Three so far from him.”

Lucy turned her head in every direction, trying to find the source of the voice who had been taunting her since she'd regained consciousness, but all she could see was darkness. She had no idea where she was or how long she'd been out. It had taken her a long while to even remember where she'd been and what she had been doing before she'd been knocked out, but the soreness in her back had helped jog her memory.

She'd spent most of the day with Miranda and the newest member of the squad, Kasumi Goto, shopping for a dress and accessories to wear for a _job_. A black-tie, by-invitation-only party where Kasumi planned to rob the host. She and Miranda had gone back to the Normandy afterward while Lucy had headed across the station to the tattoo artist who'd done her Alliance, N7 and Spectre insignia at various points during her career. Except the memorial she'd gotten back on Mindoir, Zaeed had done the rest of her original tattoos himself. He'd done two simple ones since she'd returned: redoing their wedding date in Roman numerals on her left wrist and a quote on the inside of her left arm. But he'd insisted she go to a professional for the larger and much more complex phoenix tattoo she had designed for her back.

She remembered leaving the tattoo parlor after a three-hour session – she only had one more left before the tattoo was done – and heading toward her uncle's apartment. After that, all she knew was that she hadn't made it anywhere close to his block. She'd been ambushed by... she really had absolutely no idea who the hell it was. She'd woken up a few minutes ago to find herself gagged and bound to a chair in a pitch-black room.

She realized the voice – she still couldn't quite place it though it was _familiar_ – was speaking again. “I'm sure you're trying to figure out where you are, Shepard, and why you're here. And don't worry. I'll release you in due time. Once you've answered all of my questions to the satisfaction of the Alliance.”

_Son of a bitch._

“That disappearing act you pulled, making the entire galaxy think you were dead for two years, that was... impressive. But reappearing in the employ of Cerberus, that's the icing on the cake right there. Commander Shepard, once the ultimate Alliance hero, now its ultimate traitor.” Footsteps echoed as the man finally stepped into the room. “That's assuming, of course, that you're even the real Shepard and not just some lab experiment cooked up by Cerberus.”

Lucy's eyes watered as the room flooded with a bright light and the footsteps stopped right in front of her. She did a double take when her vision finally cleared and she got her first look at her captor.

_Major Antella?_

S he remembered the Major from the time she'd spent at Vila Militar during her N-school training. As far as she knew, he should have still been there.

“Training accident a couple of years ago forced me behind a desk,” he said, answering the question in Lucy's eyes as he roughly pulled the gag from her mouth. “Now I work in Internal Affairs.”

“What the hell do you want with me?” she choked out when she finally found her voice.

“Just want to know where the fuck you've been hiding the last two years, Shepard. And of course, if you're the real deal. Can't have an imposter running around the galaxy, now can we?”

“What do you mean _where you've been hiding_? I was fucking dead!”

Antella snorted derisively. “So you say.”

“If I didn't die, then how do you explain the Normandy?”

“Oh that was real all right. I saw the bodies of the crew when they were brought over from Alchera.” He leaned in so his face was less than an inch from hers. “But yours... they found your helmet, your dog tags, but no body. No actual proof that _you_ were ever there.”

“You're insane.”

“I'm not the one who conned everyone into thinking I was dead so I could skip out and work for the enemy.” Antella started slowly walking around the chair. “Then again, Shepard might _actually_ be dead and you're some sort of clone that Cerberus cooked up. That'd be just like them, having one of their own _on the inside_.”

“If that were true, then wouldn't I be back with the Alliance, not with Cerberus?”

He stopped behind Lucy and put his hands on the back of the chair. “Fair point, Shepard. Still doesn't mean you're not a clone. You could be in training for all we know.”

She rolled her eyes. “You're an idiot.”

“No, I'm cautious. Something Admiral Hackett clearly is not.”

She twisted her head around to look at Antella. “What are you talking about?”

“I tried to do this the right way, go through proper channels, but Hackett blocked me. I requested to have you brought in for questioning, and what did I get in response? A two-word message that –”

“What part of _request denied_ did you fail to comprehend, Antella?” the voice of Admiral Hackett growled from somewhere behind the Major.

Lucy felt Antella quickly turn. “How the hell did you do that?” he asked in a panicked voice. “You can't just hack into –”

“What _I_ can and cannot do is not your concern,” Hackett snapped. “ _You_ on the other hand...”

“I'm protecting the Alliance,” Antella shot back. “Making sure that Shepard is –”

“I gave _explicit_ orders for her to be left alone. Lucy, are you all right?”

“Just fucking peachy,” she said fiercely, trying to twist around to see where her uncle _was_. He didn't sound as if he was actually in the room.

“Release her,” he said, using the tone that usually put the fear of God into any soldier that heard it.

“No,” Antella replied, his voice not entirely devoid of fear. “As I told her, she'll be released when I'm satisfied that she is who she appears to be and once she's answered my questions about where she's been the last two years.”

“I'm not answering anymore of your fucking questions,” Lucy snarled. “Doesn't matter what I say anyway, you won't believe me.”

“Release her,” Hackett repeated. “Now!”

“What the hell are you going to do if I don't?” Antella asked.

“You _really_ don't want to go down that road, Major.”

“I think I'll take my chances,” Antella said snidely. “Later, _Admiral_.”

“You are such an idiot,” Lucy said when he walked back around to face her again. “And so very dead.”

“I'm not afraid of Admiral Hackett.” The brief flicker in his eyes said otherwise.

She snorted. “You  _are_ an idiot then.  Though, a s much as you  _should_ fear what he can and will do to you, I think you should be more worried about what Massani will do to you.”

“Oh my dear Shepard, I will be _long_ gone by the time anyone comes to find you.”

“Why are you really doing this, Antella?” She shook her head sadly. “I _know_ you. You have never disobeyed an order in your life. Why start now?”

“I... no. I'm not going to explain myself to a fucking traitor,” he sneered. “Now, are you going to cooperate and answer my questions or not?”

“I think I'm gonna go with _not_. As I said, it doesn't matter what my answers are; if you don't believe I died, then why the hell would you believe why I'm with Cerberus?”

He laughed humorlessly. “I was hoping you'd say that. Night night, Shepard.”

He took out his sidearm; a moment later, he swung it, connecting with the side of Lucy's face, and her vision blurred again before the world once again fell into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucy's tattoos:  
> Roman Numerals: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/357262182913278474/  
> Quote: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/357262182912695695/  
> Phoenix (but larger, covering the whole back): http://www.pinterest.com/pin/357262182913376902/


	30. Chapter 30

When Lucy regained consciousness, she felt like her head was being forced to split in half. She quickly realized she wasn't in the room she'd been in last, where she'd been _arguing_ with Major Antella. Instead of what she suspected had been the living room of an apartment in the wards, Lucy was now in some utterly unfamiliar place. She was strapped down to a chair not unlike the ones in the interrogation rooms at C-Sec, but she knew she definitely wasn't anywhere close to the C-Sec offices right now. She suspected she wasn't even on the Citadel anymore,  though she had _no_ idea how or when she'd been moved.

Testing the strength of the bonds that held her proved to be a mistake. A fairly strong electric current coursed through her body the moment she tried to see how close she could come to freeing her hands.

“Did you really think it would be that easy, Shepard?” a male voice, not that of Antella, said from somewhere above her. “Or should I say Mrs. Massani?”

_What the hell is going on here?_

“Who –” Another current started up as soon as she started to speak.

_Well, fuck._

“We are _guests_ of the Shadow Broker,” a second male voice said, this one close by on the right. “And you get used to it after awhile, the shocks for – argh – speaking.”

Lucy turned her head to find a blue-and-yellow drell strapped into a machine identical to her own. “The Shadow Broker?” she whispered harshly, bracing for the pain. “How... did I... get here?”

“Don't know,” the drell said after a couple of minutes. “Don't know... how long... either of... us have been... here. I'm Feron.” He shook his head when Lucy opened her mouth to speak again. “I know who you are... helped rescue you... your body... from Blue... Suns.” He slumped as much as his restraints allowed and fell unconscious.

_The Blue Suns had my body? Wonder if Zaeed knows about that_ , Lucy mused as she settled back and waited for the next of what she knew would likely be endless electric shocks.

Feron looked as if he'd been around for... years. Lucy wondered what would happen if either of them managed an escape. Nothing good, that much was pretty damn certain. Even if they somehow got out of the restraints with out killing themselves , very unlikely, they were both unarmed aside from any biotic energy Feron might be able to scrape together. But given how weak he had to be from the constant barrage of electricity,  he wasn't going to make it far even without trying to use biotics.

What seemed like days, but could have been hours, weeks or months for all Lucy knew, passed without much change. Various Broker agents passed their glass  _cage_ , and the ones who were a constant presence in whatever facility this was often stopped by to taunt the two prisoners, trying to get a rise out of them, to watch them writhe in pain if they reacted. 

For their part, Feron and Lucy ignored them as much as possible, encouraging each other to resist the temptation. Eventually, through carefully  _short_ conversations, Feron explained the rescue operation he'd been part of that led to his capture. He knew Liara, Miranda, Jacob  _and_ Zaeed. Lucy reluctantly told him that, if he'd been captured days after she died, then he'd been a  _guest_ , as he'd put it, of the Shadow Broker for more than two years. He hadn't seemed at all surprised it had taken that long to bring her back, though he was miffed as to why the Shadow Broker had kept him alive all this time. Lucy had been wondering exactly the same about herself after Feron told her about the contract the Broker had had with the Collectors at the time of her death.  While Feron's imprisonment seemed to be a perpetual punishment for  failure to successfully deliver her to the Collectors as well as betraying the Shadow Broker, she knew it was only a matter of time before the Collectors came to clai m her. She sincerely hoped she wouldn't be anywhere around when that happened.

Listening to the chatter of the guards when they weren't busy flinging insults at the occupants of the cage, Lucy discerned that the Broker's base wasn't on a planet, but rather one giant ship in orbit around one; she never caught the name of the planet, but the guards and other agents who came through often complained of the constant storms that raged outside the ship.

One day, something seemed to have changed; the atmosphere on the ship, among the guards, was different. They seemed on high alert, and more heavily armed than usual. And as an added  _bonus_ , the Shadow Broker had increased both the frequency of routine shocks as well as the power of what Feron and Lucy had come to call  _punitive shocks_ ;  knowing their luck, it was in an attempt to kill them . Something had the Broker spooked, and Lucy prayed that it was some sort of rescue attempt, though she'd quite honestly given up hope long ago.

W ave after wave of guards hurried down the corridor past the cage, presumably to meet something or someone that was on the outer hull of the ship. Eventually, the  waves stopped and gunfire echoed throughout the ship for several long minutes .

And then, Lucy saw them. Three people she quite honestly thought she would  _never_ see again: Liara, Zaeed, and Mordin, the chatty salarian doctor they'd picked up just before they'd rescued Garrus on Omega.

“Thank the Goddess,” Liara murmured. “We were afraid we would never find you.”

“You all right?” Zaeed asked, looking from Lucy to Feron and back again.

They both nodded without speaking.

“We need to get you out,” Liara said, examining the controls on the outside of the cage.

“No, don't!” Lucy exclaimed, clenching her teeth as an exceptionally strong current started up.

“Tamper with the controls,” Feron wheezed. “And our brains cook.”

“Then how the bloody hell do we get you out?” Zaeed growled. “We're not leaving you, either of you.”

“You have to –” Feron's current was too strong and he collapsed, unable to speak.

“Cut power – FUCK! – central operations,” Lucy ground out between clenched teeth. She hoped no one was going to ask another question she had to give a lengthy answer to; the electric current had become damn near unbearable.

“We'll be back,” Zaeed said. “That's a goddamn promise.”

Lucy swallowed hard and nodded, closing her eyes against the harshness of the _all hands on deck_ lighting.

Gunfire erupted moments after the trio disappeared down the corridor. And then it was silent.

What felt like an hour later, the ship went dark as the power generators were shut down. Lucy and Feron immediately jumped out of the chairs, mere seconds before the power was switched back on. They clung to each other as they started down the same path the others had taken.

A voice, the voice they'd come to loathe with a deep hatred, began speaking over the loud speaker. They looked at each other for a moment and sped up as much as they could, grabbing guns off of two of the guards lying in the corridor. There was no way in hell they were leaving while the Shadow Broker was alive.

They rounded a corner and ran into Zaeed and Mordin running in the opposite direction.

“Where's Liara?” Feron asked as he leaned against the wall.

Zaeed wrapped an arm around Lucy and tugged her against him. “T'Soni's fine. She's back that way,” he said, jerking his head in the direction they'd come.

“But the Shadow Broker's down there,” Lucy said.

“True,” Mordin said. “But not old Broker. New one took his place.”

Feron frowned. “That's not possible. The only people alive on this ship are the four of us and...”

“Liara,” Lucy finished for him. She looked at Zaeed. “It's Liara, isn't it?”

He nodded. “She sounds the same as the old Broker because he used a filter to mask his voice.” He pulled Lucy back when she tried to continue down the corridor. “You can see her later. Right now, you need to go to the med-bay.”

She glared at him. “Thought that's why you brought Mordin.”

“I brought the doc because I don't trust Lawson and Taylor, and Vakarian is laid up in the med-bay.”

“What happened?”

Mordin took her hand and gently pulled her in the direction of the exit. “Explain everything, but later. First, med-bay is necessary. No arguing.” He looked to Feron. “You as well.”

The drell shook his head. “No, I'm –”

Lucy scoffed. “If _I_ have to get checked out, so do you.”

He looked somewhat longingly in the direction of the Shadow Broker's office. “What about Liara?”

Zaeed firmly wrapped an arm around Lucy's waist. “I just sent her a message that you both got out all right. She'll meet us on the Normandy in a few hours.”

Feron sighed. “Fine. Lead the way.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment, kudos, etc. :)

“Why did you never tell me about the Suns?”

Zaeed frowned at the top of Lucy's head where she was resting it against his chest. She was _supposed_ to be sleeping. “What about them? I told you years ago about –”

She shook her head slightly. “No, not the origins of it. Why didn't you ever tell me they were the ones who had my body before Miranda took it for the Lazarus Project?”

“I... guess I assumed that when she told you about it, that she'd told you _everything_ about it. So, who did?”

“Feron,” she said quietly. “When Miranda told me the story, all she said was that she'd met up with you and Liara to keep the Shadow Broker's agent from getting my body. She never mentioned Feron or the Blue Suns. But he told me the whole thing, as much as he knew anyway, and told me that was how he'd come to be the Shadow Broker's prisoner.”

“Interesting. I'd wondered what had happened to him. I stayed on Omega after the fight with the Suns and the Broker's agent and I didn't see or speak to T'Soni again until –” Zaeed abruptly stopped talking. Dr. Chakwas had forbidden anyone from telling Lucy the details, any of them, of how the Normandy had ended up at the Shadow Broker's base until she'd slept for a good long while.

“Until what?” Lucy asked, finally lifting her head to glare at him. “What happened after Uncle Steven yelled at Major Antella? And how the hell did he do that? He doesn't know how to hack into anything more complex than a simple door lock.”

“Kasumi.” Zaeed mentally slapped himself. _Damn it, Massani. Shut up!_

“Should have known. Extremely useful, that one.” She frowned at him. “So how did you find out where the Shadow Broker's ship was?”

He shook his head. “More than my life's worth to tell you anything else tonight, Luce.” He put a finger against her lips when she started to protest. “You are scary as hell, sweetheart, but I am infinitely more afraid of Dr. Chakwas than I am of you.”

She narrowed her eyes  and bit the tip of his finger . “You do remember the time I kicked your ass even though I could only use one hand, yes?”

He chuckled. “I do.  The answer is still  _not yet_ .” He kissed her forehead. “Sleep, or just pretend to, for a few hours and I swear I will tell you everything.”

“Fine. But if I find out you're hiding anything else from me...” She yawned. “...there's going to be hell to pay.”

H e sighed heavily, dreading the thought of telling her about Tony after all this time. “There's one other thing, but you don't need that piled on top of everything else that's happened, not yet. I swear I will tell you, but later. Much later. Now go to sleep before I get yelled at.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed melodramatically but settled her head back on his chest and curled up as close as she could against him. “I'd be scared of the crazy lady with the guns and knives who can kill you before you even knew you were in danger, but whatever.” She yawned again and was asleep in only a few short minutes.

Zaeed wished he could join her, but sleep seemed to elude him. He hadn't gotten more than a few hours' sleep the entire time she'd been gone, unable to stop obsessing over the images that kept popping into his head. Before they'd figured out that she'd been taken to the Shadow Broker, Zaeed had quite honestly though Antella might have been in Tony's network of _friends_ who'd always helped terrorize Lucy. Finding out it _wasn't_ Tony hadn't helped really; after that, the images turned into Lucy being tortured, which she had been, before being turned over to the Collectors. He'd been _so_ afraid that, even if they'd managed to find the Shadow Broker's base, they would have been too late to save her.

And now that she was back safe in his arms, the only image going through his mind was of her strapped into that goddamn machine, electricity coursing through her body every time she spoke. He was bloody amazed Feron had managed to endure that for more than two years.

“Keep frowning like that, you're gonna get a deep-ass wrinkle between your eyes,” Lucy muttered.

Zaeed sighed. “I told you to go to sleep.”

“And I did,” she said as she gingerly sat up and turned so she could lean her back against his chest. “You've been sitting here brooding for the better part of four hours.”

“I don't _brood_ , sweetheart.”

“Apparently, you also don't sleep.”

“I'm not the one who needs it.”

“Bullshit.” She glanced back at him. “I'm fi... I'm okay. Okay? You don't have to keep worrying about me.”

“I spent the last week and a half thinking there was a damn good chance I was going lose you again.” He cupped her face in one hand and laid a gentle kiss on her lips. “I can't just... I have to constantly remind myself that you're alive, you're safe, you're _here_.”

She gave him a weak smile and laid her head back on his shoulder as she pulled his arms tight around herself. “If I have to sleep, so do you,” she said after they'd sat in a comfortable silence for awhile. “If not, I _will_ sic Dr. Chakwas on you.”

“Duly noted.”

“ _Now_ will you tell me everything that happened?” she asked, glancing back up at him with a mournful look on her face that she knew he couldn't goddamn resist.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.” She shook her head slightly. “I'll... if I can't listen to it anymore, I promise I'll tell you. Okay?”

“Fine.” He sighed. “As I said, Kasumi hacked the vid-comm in the apartment where you were. After your uncle couldn't get Antella to let you go on his own, we went to the apartment in person, but you were both long gone by the time we got there. I asked EDI to find where you were right then and she said you weren't registering as being anywhere on the Citadel.” He hesitated. “At that point, I was pretty goddamn sure of who had been behind it all. Tony. But –”

“How could it have been Tony?” Lucy asked. “I read an article, when I was trying to catch up on, well, _life_ over the past two years, that said he was dead.”

Zaeed shook his head. “He escaped from the shuttle crash that killed his mother. He's... he's been on the run ever since. His father and damn near everyone else decided he must be dead after they couldn't find him for six months.”

“But you've... you were tracking him?”

“Yes. That's what Joker and I were doing for about 95% of those two years. Did a few jobs here and there when we didn't have any leads, but for the most part, we concentrated on Tony.”

“Did you ever catch up to him?”

“Couple of times, yeah. But he always slipped through my goddamn fingers. Last time I saw him, he was waltzing out of one of the clubs here on the Citadel while I got beat all to hell in the fight that _he_ started. That was a year before you came back. Actually, it was the one year anniversary of the Normandy explosion.”

Lucy was quiet for a long time. Finally, she said, “We'll catch him. Sometime. Even if I have to set myself as bait to lure him out...”

“No, Luce. That's too goddamn dangerous. He's completely deranged. If he gets you alone, he'll kill you.”

“Not if I kill him first,” she growled.

Zaeed sighed heavily. He wished he'd never mentioned the fucker's name at all.

“How did you figure out it _wasn't_ Tony?”

“T'Soni. She spotted Antella on Illium, talking to her assistant Nyxeris and a known Broker agent by the name of Tazzik. She was already suspicious of Nyxeris, thinking she was likely also a Broker agent; after she eavesdropped on the conversation, heard your name and the Shadow Broker's mentioned in the same sentence, that confirmed it.”

“I was on Illium?”

“T'Soni said she never actually saw you, only heard your name mentioned, but when we questioned Antella later, he confirmed that he'd had you stashed somewhere close by.”

Lucy gave an involuntary shiver. “Antella is so creepy. Not Tony creepy, but if he'd had a longer window of opportunity, I'm sure he'd have gotten close.”

Zaeed nodded in agreement.

“I gather you caught up to Antella soon after that?”

“We did, though obviously not soon enough. We questioned him, or rather your uncle did. He seemed to think that was the safest option, to keep the sonofabitch alive long enough to give us all the answers we needed. Unfortunately, he wasn't the goddamn wealth of information we were hoping for. He confirmed that he was also an agent for the Shadow Broker, but he'd never been to the main base. He said otherwise, he would have just taken you there himself instead of having to hand you off to Tazzik.”

“So if he's so damn useless, how the hell did you ever find the base?”

“Our _employer_ gave us information on Feron, which we gave to T'Soni. She'd been searching for the base for the better part of the last two years with no real leads. But she had an informant who had finally gotten close to figuring it out. He was fucking _executed_ before she had a chance to talk to him, but we still got the information. Eventually.”

“Eventually?”

“We had to fight a fucking asari Spectre first. That's how Vakarian ended up in the med-bay; he took a bad hit during the fight. After we recovered the information disc from the Spectre, Liara uploaded the coordinates to Joker and we took off.”

“Always a fucking rogue Spectre involved.” Lucy sighed. “So what happened to Antella?”

“Locked up on Arcturus, solitary confinement indefinitely.”

“Why?”

“Because the Admiral rejected my idea of taking the bastard out and shooting him between the eyes.”

“I wouldn't let him off as easy as that. I'd have gone for the eye-for-an-eye approach, see how _he_ likes being electrocuted at varying intervals for...” She frowned up at him. “A week and a half?”

He nodded.

“Shit. Seemed like... _months_ that I was in that fucking torture chamber,” she said quietly.

It had seemed about that long to Zaeed too, but he didn't say it out loud, just held her close as they sat in silence. He'd nearly drifted off to sleep for the first time in more than two days when Lucy suddenly launched herself off the bed.

“Where the hell are you going now?” he asked as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

She walked across the room and retrieved a TCU hoodie from the closet and gingerly pulled it over her head. “Going down to see Kasumi,” she said as she headed toward the door, still in her pajama pants and bare feet. “I want to see if she's finished with the upgrades to my omni-tool.”

“Wait!” He quickly threw a t-shirt on over his own pajama pants and ran after her, sliding into the elevator just before the doors closed. “Why couldn't you just bring her up to the Loft?”

“I just... needed to get out of the room, stretch my legs a little. Doctor Chakwas shunted me up to bed so quickly, the longest I've walked is after Feron and I...” She fell silent with a heavy sigh.

The moment the doors opened on Deck 3, Lucy was out of the elevator, walking as quickly as she could toward Kasumi's quarters, which happened to be the ship's bar and lounge.

Zaeed was two steps behind her and nearly collided with her when she stopped short in the doorway.

“Uncle Steven?” she asked incredulously as the man in question got up and walked across the room. She turned to Zaeed. “Why is Uncle Steven here, on a _Cerberus ship_?”

He sighed. “All right, so there were _two_ things I was _hiding_.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the lovely comment :)

“Why are you here?” Lucy asked Hackett directly as Zaeed backed out of the room, locking the door behind him. She still stood just inside the doorway, apparently unwilling to move further into the room.

Hackett felt as if he was looking through a window fifteen years into the past. As if they weren't standing in the lounge of her ship but rather back in the woods on Mindoir. And just as he had back then, he knew he was going to have to work to get her to trust him. It hadn't taken much when she was sixteen, just the knowledge that he wasn't going to abandon her, hand her off to some stranger. But she'd become extremely jaded in the last fifteen years, thanks in no small part to Tony's abuse and spending so much time with Zaeed. He couldn't deny that he'd been surprised by the fact that the mercenary had always seemed to care about her, from that very first message the night of the attack on Mindoir. But as he'd actually gotten a chance to see him work over the last week and a half, Hackett finally realized just _how much_ Zaeed loved Lucy.

“Uncle Steven?”

He blinked and realized she was no longer standing in the doorway. Turning around, he saw her sitting on the couch, holding a glass of scotch out to him.  He gave her a small smile as he took the glass and sat next to her. 

“I thought maybe you were just gonna stand there all night,” she said with a hint of a smirk as she sipped an orange cocktail.

“Sorry. I was lost in thought. You know we haven't actually seen each other in person since just after Saren's defeat; kind of brought on a flood of memories.” He took a sip of scotch and set the glass on the coffee table in front of them. “I don't really _know_ why I'm here,” he admitted. “For some reason, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I'm getting off at the Citadel, unless you want me to go before then, I'll  catch a rideout of Illium.”

She shook her head.  “It was a supremely stupid idea, potential career suicide if anyone saw you board the ship, but I'm glad you 're here .”

“I don't give a damn about my career, Lucy. I know you're still angry, but –”

“I'm not angry anymore, not at you anyway.” She moved over until she was sitting next to him. “Being trapped in that chair all that time forced me to _think_. I realized life is too fucking short to stay angry at family. Any anger and resentment I still feel about my death is entirely directed at the Council.”  She narrowed her eyes. “But that doesn't mean I'm willing to come back to the Alliance after I'm done with Cerberus.”

“I know. And I promise I won't constantly ask if you've changed your mind, or attempt to convince you to do so.”

She  laughed . “Yes, you will. You can't help it. And as for you not giving a damn about your career, yes, you do. It's... it's who you are, who you've always been. ” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “ And unlike Kevin, I don't fault you for that...  now. He was wrong about you not caring about family.”

H e kissed the top of her head. “Thank you for saying that. I'd honestly begun to doubt it myself.”

“So, um... can we have a do-over on the dinner we were supposed to have?”

“Of course. I assume the same rules apply as before?”

She nodded  slightly against his shoulder . “Though I promise I won't be as  _stingy_ about them as I'd been before.”

He smirked. “Yes, you will.  So when do you want to do this dinner?”

“Dr. Chakwas put me on mandatory medical leave,” she said with a roll of her eyes as she lifted her head to look at him. “So apparently I'm free as a bird for the next week.”

“She knows you too well, sweetheart. You want to be done with Cerberus as soon as possible, so you wouldn't take any more time off than _you_ thought was necessary, even after something like this.”

Lucy shrugged.  “ Suppose so. I'm trying to talk her into  _letting_ me go to a party with Kasumi in a few days.”

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “What kind of party?” From what he knew of her, Kasumi Goto was not the type to go to a party without an ulterior motive.

“Let's just say that I would not have been welcome at this particular party back when I was Commander Shepard, particularly as a Spectre.”

“I think I'm sorry I asked.” He sighed. “If you do go, just _be careful_ , all right?”

She rolled her eyes again. “Aren't I always?”

“Not by any sane person's definition of the word, no.”

She huffed impatiently. “It's not like I'm gonna go in with guns blazing. It's a black-tie event.”

“But you'll be armed?”

“I'm _always_ armed, Uncle Steven.” She pulled a familiar-looking butterfly knife from the pocket of her hoodie. “Always.”

* * *

“So? How do I look?”

Zaeed's jaw dropped as Lucy walked from behind the curtains Kasumi used to divide her quarters from the rest of the lounge. She seemed a bit unsteady in the stiletto sandals that peaked out from under the hem of her floor-length black dress as she crossed the room and spun in place to give him a view of the whole thing.

He'd seen the dress after Kasumi had hung it up in the Loft the day they'd bought it, but the full effect had been lost on him until now. On the hanger, he hadn't seen the cut-outs along the sides or the deep slit that would have been damn near indecent if it had been front and center instead of along Lucy's left leg. He'd also seen the large blue and silver cocktail ring she was wearing with the silver knot earrings he'd given her for her birthday one year; a pair of wide silver bracelets was a new addition though, bought at the last minute to hide the electrical burns on her wrists.

Zaeed couldn't help the apprehension he felt at the thought of Lucy going in to _distract_ a man like Donovan Hock. He knew just how goddamn possessive Hock got with women in his company, which wasn't going to go over well with Lucy. 

As he caught the expectant look on her face,  Zaeed realized he  was still staring at her like a slack-jawed idiot and that he  hadn't actually  _said_ anything yet.  He forced his jaw to close and smiled. “Goddamn gorgeous.”

“Will you stop worrying?” She sighed as she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I'm _fine_.”

“You can keep saying that, sweetheart, but it doesn't mean I'm going to believe it.”

“Do you trust me?” she asked, a serious glint in her grey eyes. “Do you still believe I can take care of myself?”

He frowned.  “ Of course I  do.  It's not that at all. ”

“Then what?” When he didn't come up with an answer fast enough for her, she leaned up and kissed him before turning toward the door. “I'll be fine, Z. I promise. Don't wait up. It may be a long night.”

* * *

> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Uncle Steven_
> 
> _Subj: re: The Party_
> 
> _Yes, it was absolutely necessary to kill Donovan Hock. Bit hypocritical of you to question it though; don't think I haven't forgotten you sending me in to kill Lord Darius back when I was hunting Saren._
> 
> _And if you must know, I was helping the Alliance. Hock killed Kasumi's boyfriend to get the information in his graybox. Information that, according to her, would have brought down the Alliance, if Hock had managed to get her graybox as well._
> 
> _So... you're welcome._
> 
> _Also, he was a slimy hands-on jackass. Not the least bit sorry he's dead._
> 
> _-Lucy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucy's dress, etc. - http://www.pinterest.com/pin/357262182913572871/


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the long wait. thanks for the comments, kudos, etc. :)

> _From: L. Shepard_
> 
> _To: K. Alenko_
> 
> _Subj: re: Horizon_
> 
> _ You couldn't have at least made an  attempt at sincerity? _
> 
> _Go to hell._
> 
> _-LS_

* * *

 

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Widow System_
> 
> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Brandi_
> 
> _13:17 L: Hey._
> 
> _13:20 B: Hey yourself._
> 
> _13:21 L: I have a favor to ask._
> 
> _13:22 B: Name it._
> 
> _13:22 L: Make up with Joker._
> 
> _13:26 B: No._
> 
> _13:27 L: Why the fuck not?_
> 
> _13:28 B: It's just... it's not going to work between us._
> 
> _13:30 L: Bullshit._
> 
> _13:31 L: You two were on the fucking verge of getting engaged a couple of years ago._
> 
> _13:31 L: What happened?_
> 
> _13:35 B: You died._
> 
> _13:36 L: So?_
> 
> _13:37 L: That wasn't his fault and you goddamn know it._
> 
> _13:39 B: Have you talked to him lately? He clearly thinks it was his fault._
> 
> _13:40 B: And I'm inclined to agree._
> 
> _13:42 L: Of course I've fucking talked to him lately. Why the fuck do you think I'm talking to you about making up with him?_
> 
> _13:41 L: He's still my helmsman._
> 
> _13:42 B: Seriously?_
> 
> _13:42 L: Yes. I wouldn't trust anyone else to do the job._
> 
> _13:44 B: Even after what happened with the Normandy?_
> 
> _13:45 L: Yes._
> 
> _ 13:46 L: Look. Even if me getting spaced  was his fault, I wouldn't hold it against him. _
> 
> _ 13:47 B:  Why the hell not? _
> 
> _ 13:48 L:  Because dying and coming back taught me something. _
> 
> _13:49 L: Life is too fucking short to hold grudges against the ones you love._
> 
> _13:50 B: If you say so. Not something I would be able to forgive so easily._
> 
> _13:51 L: Suppose that's you saying you're absolutely not up for trying to reconcile?_
> 
> _13:52 B: Exactly._
> 
> _13:53 L: Fine._
> 
> _13:34 L: Thought you were a bigger person than that._
> 
> _13:35 L: Guess I was wrong._
> 
> _ 13:35  User Has Disconnected. _

* * *

“Am I losing my touch?” Lucy murmured, lying sideways with her head resting on Zaeed's leg as he sat on the couch in their apartment on the Citadel.

He glanced away from the message he was reading on the terminal and looked down at her curiously. “I'm sorry?”

“Am I losing my touch?” she repeated slightly louder. “My ability to win people over, make them fucking _listen_.” She turned over on her back and looked up at him. “I mean, first there was... well, the Council doesn't really count, because they've _never_ listened to me. But Antella, Kaidan, now Brandi.”

Zaeed gently ran his fingers through her hair. “Antella doesn't count; didn't matter if he believed you or not, he was never going to let you go. He was always going to turn you over to the Shadow Broker.”

Lucy sighed. “I guess. But what about Kaidan and Brandi?”

“So it's a no-go with Brandi then?” He shook his head. “I didn't really expect that to work anyway.”

Lucy glared up at him. “No faith in me?”

“No, I've got all the faith in the galaxy in you, sweetheart. But she's too goddamn stubborn to entertain the idea that she might be wrong.”

“And Kaidan?”

“He's too blinded by loyalty to the Alliance to listen to goddamn reason. He sees you alive when he thought you were dead and standing next to a shuttle with Cerberus colors; he's automatically going to assume you're either _with_ them voluntarily or you're being controlled by them. Not to mention he's probably been fed lie after lie by Udina.”

“What about that bitchy reporter?”

“You mean the one you punched, on camera?” said an angry voice from the other side of the room.

Zaeed and Lucy looked over and she jumped up as Admiral Hackett walked over and sat in one of the armchairs.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

She shrugged. “Bitch had it coming.”

“And you didn't even _try_ to stop her,”  Hackett said, his ire turning on Zaeed.

Z aeed scoffed. “Why the fuck would I stop her?”

“I lived out the fantasy of anyone who's ever been interviewed by her,” Lucy said with a smirk, flopping back down on the couch.

“It's not _funny_ ,” Hackett snapped.

“It is from where I'm stand– um... sitting. 'Sides, it could have been a lot worse. I could have shot her.”

Hackett groaned. “You are absolutely infuriating, Lucy.”

“Welcome to my world,” Zaeed muttered.

Lucy rolled her eyes. “You can't tell me you wouldn't have done the same fucking thing, Uncle Steven. I remember the look on your face after you talked to that one the night we arrived on Arcturus.”

Hackett frowned. “I would never –”

“If she had been a man, I mean. I know, you'd never hit a woman. And enemy soldiers or mercs don't count. If they're shooting at you, they're fair game.”

“So what are you doing on the Citadel?” he asked, abruptly changing the subject. “Thought you wanted to get all this over and done with as quickly as possible.”

“I do. And we'd probably almost be on our way to Omega now, if we hadn't gone to Horizon.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Before that, we'd all seen the vids of the Collectors. But that's _all_ we'd seen. We hadn't seen an actual raid, just the empty shell of a colony that's left in the aftermath. Horizon was the first time we'd fought the Collectors, seen what they can do in a fight, actually seen what they do, up close and personal, to the colonists.”

Hackett remained silent.

“Horizon made it, what we're facing when we go through the relay, very _real_. So yes, we want to get through the relay as quickly as possible, not only because I want to be _done_ with Cerberus, but because we want to save any colonists we can. But at the same time, this _is_ a suicide mission. Everyone's trying to tie up loose ends.”  She sighed. “That's what we're doing on the Citadel, trying to tie up a loose end for Garrus and another of my crew. Already been several places doing things for other members of the crew.”

“Speaking of which,” Zaeed said as he glanced at the clock on the terminal. “You're almost late for your appointment with Krios and Kelham.”

“You're not going?” Hackett asked as the two men watched the door close behind Lucy.

“I've got doctor's orders to _take it easy_ for a couple of weeks.” Zaeed ran a hand across his ribs. “Got taken out by a fucking krogan back on Korlus, our last pick-up before Horizon.”

“You all right?”

Zaeed nodded. “Lucy might not ever listen to Chakwas for herself, but she is surprisingly fucking strict when it comes to everyone else on the crew.”

“Especially you?”

Zaeed grimaced.  “Aye. Especially me.”


	34. Chapter 34

“Oh gods. I can't... I can't do this.” Lucy quickly backed out of the C-Sec interrogation room.

Thane looked at her curiously but didn't say anything. He merely nodded slightly and closed the door to proceed with the interrogation of Elias Kelham, the man strapped into the chair.

Lucy walked over and stood beside Garrus, who stood beside Bailey's desk; she leaned her head on his shoulder so she wouldn't have to see the concern and _pity_ in his eyes,  or the confusion in Bailey's. She distracted herself by _window shopping_ on her omni-tool for things to fix up the beach house  she and Zaeed were planning to buy when they were done with Cerberus.

“Don't, Garrus,” she said after a few minutes, seeing from the corner of her eye the turian's mandible twitching as if he was about to say something. “Just... don't.”

He said nothing but put an arm around her shoulders. They stayed that way, in silence, until the door to the interrogation room opened and Thane walked out.

“Got what we need?” Lucy asked, straightening up and taking half a step away from the desk.

Thane nodded and looked toward Bailey. “The 800 blocks. Kelham said the target is a turian politician named Joram Talid.”

“Then let's get you there. Lieutenant?”

While Bailey coordinated with his officers, Thane turned back to Lucy and Garrus. “Will you be all right to continue, Shepard?” he asked her, the look of curiosity again etched on his face.

She nodded.

“If you need –”

“It was a one-time thing, I promise.” She nodded toward the officer waiting beside a skycar. “Come on. We've got a job to do. Not gonna get it done standing around here.”

She saw Thane and Garrus share the briefest of glances before the drell fell into step beside her and she knew there was a damn good chance the turian was planning to send a message to Zaeed about what had just happened.

* * *

 

“I think I owe you an apology, or an explanation. Probably both.” Lucy leaned against the railing of the catwalk, keeping an eye on Talid's krogan bodyguard, while the turian glad-handed with voters.

“Perhaps,” Thane said after a moment. “But everyone has moments from their past that affect them in the present.”

Lucy knew he was referring both to his wife's murder and his own absense from his son's life that had led the kid to the path he was currently on.

“Suppose so. I just... I _knew_ what would be in that room when I walked in; I guess I just wasn't prepared to face it.”

“Was it Kelham?”

Lucy shook her head though Thane couldn't see her from his vantage point, wherever the hell that was. Neither could Bailey, whom she knew was listening on the frequency, keeping tabs on their progress. “No, never seen or heard of him before. It was...” Her thought process was interrupted by their turian target finally moving on as the crowd around him dispersed. “Talid's on the move.”

It wasn't long before the bodyguard stopped once more and Talid walked into a shop, likely to shake down the owner.

“A couple of months ago, I had the _pleasure_ of being the Shadow Broker's _guest_ , as a friend said once. He had...” Lucy swallowed hard. “He had chairs like the ones in C-Sec interrogation. Only his were... electrified.”

“The scars on your wrists,” Thane said quietly, almost as if to himself. “You were tortured.”

“Yes.”

“How long?”

“Ten days.” She swiped impatiently at tears that had suddenly appeared at the memory of it. “Though that was child's play compared to some. The friend I mentioned? He was there, tortured for more than two years.”

“I'm sorry, Shepard. Is he still alive?”

“Yes. We were both rescued by my crew. I think, if we'd been there much longer, it's likely we'd both be dead.” Lucy made a mental note to check in on Feron the next time she had a free moment. She glanced down at the plaza below her just in time to see Talid leaving the store, apparently done with his shakedown. “Talid is on the move again.”

“I see him,” Thane said, all business. “Have you seen any sign of Kolyat?”

“No. It's likely he's as good as you are at blending into the shadows.”

“True, but he is also still a child. Reckless. Eager to prove himself on his first contract. I pray this causes him to make some mistake.”

“Something's got Talid spooked,” Lucy said as she trailed the turian into a club. His bodyguard led him to a group of krogan wearing identical armor. “He's picked up extra protection.”

“Perhaps _he_ has seen Kolyat.”

“Or me.”

“Perhaps,” Thane said again. “Do you see him?”

Lucy realized she'd lost sight of Talid. She quickly scanned the club and almost immediately saw the krogan bodyguard. “I do now. He's on the other side of the club.”

“Don't let him out of your sight.”

She hacked the lock on the door in front of her and nearly mowed down the teenage boy standing in the middle of the room.

“Y-you're not... no one is s-supposed to be up here,” he stammered, brandishing what looked like an inventory data pad as a makeshift weapon.

Lucy rolled her eyes and pulled out her sidearm. “I do _not_ have time for this shit today, kid.”

He gulped loudly and stumbled backwards out of the way, thankfully unlocking the door on the opposite side of the room as well. Lucy knew she'd had her eyes off of Talid for far too long as it was without having to take the time to hack another lock.

The moment she was through the second door, she was in a race with Thane to catch up to Kolyat. As they reached Talid's apartment building, the younger drell burst through the middle of the crowd that was the politician's entourage and fired his sidearm, sending the krogan bodyguard crashing to the ground, a bullet in his leg.

“Kolyat!” Lucy yelled as he ran past the bodyguard. “Stop!”

He ignored her and continued after Talid.

By the time she and Thane made it to Talid's apartment, the turian was on his knees, Kolyat's gun pressed to the back of his skull.

“ _Now_?” Kolyat snarled, seeing his father for the first time. “You decided to come back _now_?”

“You don't want to do this, Kolyat,” Thane said calmly.

“Really? What the hell would you know about what I _want_?”

“Put the gun down and you two can talk,” Lucy said, her pistol trained on the black jewel-shaped scale in the middle of his forehead.

“There is nothing to talk about,” he spat out, defiantly staring her down. “I was hired to do a job and I intend to finish it.”

She sighed. “Then you leave me no choice, Kolyat.”

He braced himself for what he must have assumed was the inevitable shot to the head and flinched in surprise when she flicked her wrist to shatter the vase six inches to the right instead. Immediately, he seemed to lose his nerve and dropped the gun. Thane walked swiftly to his side and pulled him into an embrace.

Talid, who had wilted to the floor at the sound of the gunshot, tentatively looked up and around.

“Get out,” Lucy snapped, hauling him none too gently to his feet. “You got _lucky_ today, Talid. Take this as a lesson and quit being such a bastard.”

He nodded and she shoved him toward the door as Bailey and his men walked into the apartment, along with Garrus.

“I see crisis averted,” the C-Sec captain said, slightly raising an eyebrow at the pair of drell talking quietly in the corner.

Lucy followed his gaze. “You'll help him, right?”

He shook his head. “I'll try, but –”

“Talid's not worth the oxygen he breathes,” she said. “The kid made a mistake, took a wrong path.”

“We'll see.”

“You all right?” Garrus asked as Bailey stepped away to speak with Thane and Kolyat.

Lucy nodded. “I am. And this time, I think I really mean it.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos :)

“I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!” Lucy stormed out of the Cave after talking to the Illusive Man, to find her entire crew waiting for her in the communications room.

“We heard everything, boss,” Miranda said. “EDI made the transmission ship-wide.”

It was a sign of how much they were all pissed at the Illusive Man that Miranda had called Lucy _boss_. She'd only ever called her Shepard before then.

“So what happens now?” Jack asked from the doorway, leaning heavily on Dr. Chakwas. Powerful as she was, the biotic had nearly exhausted her powers shielding herself, Lucy and Garrus as they were escaping a horde of husks on the Collector ship they'd just come from.

“I'm... not sure yet,” Lucy admitted, leaning against the table in the center of the room. “All I know is that I am _done_ taking orders from that asshole.”

A chorus of “me too” and “ditto” echoed in the room.

“We're heading back to Omega. Anyone who's _not_ on board with this plan  will be getting the hell off my ship then.” She narrowed her eyes as she looked at each member of her crew in turn. “Anyone still on the ship after that and not happy with the direction this mission is headed will be taking a one-way trip through the air-lock. Trust me when I say it's not a _pleasant_ way to die.”

* * *

> _From: Shadow Broker_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: re: Security Upgrades_
> 
> _The Illusive Man will not be able to break the security we put on your personal communications. I can remotely upgrade the security for the rest of the ship; a trip out here would be time-consuming. Assuming EDI is entirely reliable and no longer reporting back to the Illusive Man, she will be able to do a thorough sweep for any remaining bugs and cameras. If not, have Tali and Kasumi do it and I will send someone to either break EDI's programming so she is loyal to you, or disable her altogether._
> 
> _I am so happy Tali is with you again. I am sure Garrus is very happy as well; I know they were always close friends._
> 
> _Give my best to the old crew. And take care of yourself, Shepard._
> 
> _-Liara_

 

> _From: Steven Hackett_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: re: Change of Plans_
> 
> _Be careful, Lucy. Betraying the Illusive Man shouldn't be done on a whim. Remember, he literally knows exactly what makes you tick; that makes him more dangerous than the old Shadow Broker ever was._
> 
> _-Uncle Steven_

* * *

Zaeed started awake in the middle of the night, surprised to find the spot beside him in the bed was empty until he heard voices from behind Lucy's glass wall of ships.

“Am I being stupid, doing this?” she asked hesitantly.

Zaeed heard Hackett's voice reply from the terminal a moment later, “No, I don't think so.”

“Then why –”

“I only meant to remind you of who you're dealing with, and to use caution when planning, not that you shouldn't do it at all.”

“If you say so. Didn't read that way.”

“Sorry. If I can help in any way...”

“Yeah, maybe. I don't know yet.”

“Lucy...”

She sighed. “Relax, Uncle Steven. I've got parts of a plan already, got Liara working her magic on the ship too.”

“Good. And you definitely still plan to go through the relay?”

“Yes. I know the Illusive Man will be expecting that, but I have to stop the Collectors if I can. I can't just leave the colonists...” Her voice trailed off to nothing and Zaeed jumped out of bed, pulling on a pair of pajama pants as he went up the stairs.

“Sorry, Massani, did we wake you?” Hackett asked as Zaeed came into his view, crouching beside Lucy and putting an arm around her waist.

The mercenary shook his head. “'S all right. I rarely sleep through the night lately anyway.”

“I know the feeling.”

Zaeed looked over at Lucy, who was still quiet, her eyes focused on her fingers picking at a hole in the sleeve of her TCU hoodie. “Lucy? Sweetheart?”

After a moment, she shook her head slightly as if clearing her mind. “I'm okay. Just... my brain suddenly decided to compare Mindoir and Horizon. The colonists never stood a chance in either place. I couldn't... save anyone from the batarians. But maybe I can... I can stop future attacks by the Collectors.”

“As I said, let me know if there's anything I can do, or the Alliance,” Hackett said. “And make sure when you do go through, you bring yourselves back alive.”

Lucy gave him a small smile. “We will. I promise. I don't plan to die again anytime soon.”

“Glad to hear it,” Hackett said, exchanging a look with Zaeed. “Hackett out.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comment :)

> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Uncle Steven_
> 
> _Subj: Update_
> 
> _My yeoman was the only member of the crew to leave when we docked at Omega. Good riddance, really; I was damn tired of her reading my messages and trying to... analyze me. On the flip side, she was one of the few who knew almost every aspect of our mission. I've been waiting for some sort of retaliation from the Illusive Man ever since Kelly left, but we've been to three different systems since we left Omega, taking care of issues for the crew, and I haven't seen a single sign of Cerberus activity._
> 
> _It's fucking unnerving._
> 
> _We've been on Tuchanka for a week_ _longer than was necessary to take care of Grunt and find Mordin's former student;_ _Wrex insisted_ _we stay a few days a_ _nd I can't say no to him._ _B_ _ut we're heading out in the morning_ _to meet up with the Migrant Fleet. Tali's been accused of treason; I absolutely cannot ignore that._
> 
> _After that, I'm not sure what our immediate plans are, but we're_ _inching closer_ _ to going through the relay. _
> 
> _I'll talk to you later. Wrex is making a speech. I don't want to miss that!_
> 
> _-Lucy_

* * *

“Massani? Is something wrong?” Hackett asked as the mercenary appeared on his vid screen.

It was once again the middle of the night, and the call was from the Normandy, but Lucy was nowhere in sight.

“You could say that, yes.” Zaeed leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “We're on our way through the relay, in a matter of minutes.”

“So soon? I thought there was still a lot you had to do yet.”

Zaeed shook his head. “T'Soni's people retrieved the IFF for us while we were with the Migrant Fleet. That was the last of it, really.”

“So what happened that necessitated leaving immediately?”

“The crew got snatched by the Collectors.”

Hackett's eyes widened. “How? When? And where the hell is Lucy?”

“She's fine; bloody distracted but fine. She's off planning with Lawson. The crew got taken while Lucy was busy getting Tali cleared of treason. She told you about that, yes?”

“She did.”

“The whole crew, Lucy's crew, had gone by shuttle to the Migrant Fleet while Joker took the Normandy to a nearby system to install and test the IFF. Apparently there was a tracker imbedded in the code; the Collectors found the ship, boarded it and took the entire Cerberus crew, and Doc Chakwas. When we got back, Joker was the only person left on the whole damn ship.”

“Damn. Is he all right?”

“He's channeling his frustrations into the final checks before we head through the relay. He hasn't said a goddamn word otherwise.”

“Bring yourselves back alive. I don't care that none of you are in the Alliance anymore, that's a damn order!”

Zaeed gave him a mocking salute. “Yes, sir.”

“Massani...”

“No idea what the hell it'll be like in there, but I will do my goddamn best to keep Lucy alive.”

“And yourself.”

“Right.”

“And for the love of god, get Lucy to actually _call_ me when you get back.”

Zaeed nodded. “I'll do my best.”

“Good luck and godspeed. Hackett out.”

* * *

It was two days before there was word from the Normandy again. Hackett was grateful it was Lucy who contacted him; it had been at least two weeks since they'd last talked _face to face_.

“We're all back, safe and... mostly sound,” she said with a grimace.

“Glad to hear it. Are you in the med-bay?” He'd noticed she appeared to be sitting in a hospital bed.

She nodded. “Got through the base pretty easily, considering we were fighting the Collectors. Couple of people got banged up a bit, Tali got a bit... overheated going through the vents at one point.”

“And you?”

“I've got a couple of broken ribs. I kind of misjudged the jump from the platform where we were and the Normandy's airlock, when we were on our way out, smashed into the side of the damn ship.”

“Sounds painful.”

“It is, for now. Doc gave me some pain meds though, so it won't be for long.”

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn't take prescription pain pills, said they made you feel drunk.”

“My _upgrades_ lessen the side effects, so I can tolerate them a bit better now.”

“I see. So what are your plans now?”

“We were forced to make a pit stop on Omega for repairs. We're leaving as soon as possible.” Lucy chewed her lip for a moment. “I'm still waiting for the Illusive Man to make a move. It's starting to scare me that he _hasn't_.”

“Me too, Lucy. Just keep your guard up so when he does retaliate, you'll hopefully be prepared.”

She nodded again. “I will. We'll be on the Citadel in a few days.”

“All right, I'll see you then. Stay safe.”

“You too. Shepard out.”


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos :)

Lucy was both annoyed and bored. Every plan she'd made before the Normandy docked at the Citadel had fallen through. Her uncle had been delayed in meeting them because of some Alliance emergency he wouldn't go into detail about. After they'd turned the Normandy over to the Alliance for retrofitting, Joker had flown off to Arcturus to help his father and sister move. And the rest of the crew had all gone their separate ways the moment the ship had docked. The only one still on the station was Thane, who was temporarily staying with Kolyat.

Even the few days  Lucy ha d planned to spend alone with Zaeed, the first  time they would have been truly alone in  _months_ , had gone to hell. He'd received an  _urgent_ message in the middle of the night about Vido. She honestly wouldn't have cared  _at all_ , except he hadn't actually told her he was leaving until he was already long gone. She'd woken up to find a message from him, explaining what was going on and saying he'd be back in a few days at most.

In the four days he'd been gone , she'd made enough cookies, cakes, and bread, she could have started her own bakery.  She was getting worried because she hadn't heard a word from him. And every time she'd tried to call Hackett, his yeoman would tell her he was  _busy_ and to  _call back later_ . Lucy swore if she received the same response the next time, she was going to reach through the communicator and strangle the woman.

* * *

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Unable to Determine_
> 
> _From: Shadow Broker_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _14:37 SB: Where are you?_
> 
> _14:40 LS: It's customary to begin a conversation with some form of 'hello,' Liara._
> 
> _14:41 SB: Hello. Where are you?_
> 
> _14:42 LS: Coming up on my apartment block. I had lunch with Thane and Kolyat._
> 
> _14:42 Connection Has Been Lost._

* * *

 

“Oi, Hackett. She's waking up.”

Lucy blinked hard a few times before fully opening her eyes, and immediately regretted it as she was blinded by bright overhead lights. She slowly turned her head to look at her surroundings, recognizing the room as being in one of the hospitals on Arcturus. Though she'd managed to avoid staying overnight herself when Tony had broken her hand, she'd visited Joker there a few times when they were in high school.

“Why am I here?” she asked in a hoarse whisper as she looked at the two men sitting on either side of her bed.

“Oh, we thought this was a great place for a family vacation,” Zaeed said, his sarcasm doing nothing to hide the worry in his eyes.

Lucy rolled her eyes and turned toward her uncle.

“We thought Arcturus would be safer than the Citadel,” he said, not bothering to hide his own concern.

“No, I mean why am I in a hospital for the second time in less than two weeks?”

Zaeed raised an eyebrow. “You don't remember?”

She slowly shook her head. “Last thing I remember was pausing the chat I was having with Liara to type in the code for our apartment. What happened?”

“The Illusive Man...” He clenched his jaw for a moment before continuing. “Someone broke into our place while you were out and set a trap, wired explosives to the front door. When you opened it...”

“I guess that explains why _everything_ hurts,” she said, wincing as she slowly sat up more fully in the bed. “How d'you know it was Cerberus? Could have just as easily been Tony, or Vido.”

“No, it was definitely Cerberus. Tony may want me dead, Joker too probably. But you...” Zaeed shook his head. He didn't need to say it; she knew what he meant. “As for Vido, it's not his style. Otherwise, he'd have blown up every safe house I have years ago.”

“What a comforting thought,” Hackett muttered.

D r. Chakwas came in then, preventing an argument between Zaeed and Hackett. “I'm glad to see you're awake, Shepard,” she said with a grim smile as she began doing a scan.  “I've seen you after you've taken a beating on the battlefield, but nothing like this,  even after the Battle for the Citadel . You're lucky to still be in one piece.”

“How bad is it?” Lucy asked quietly.

“Had it been anyone else, we'd likely be planning their memorial service. But for you, no major burns to speak of; I just took out a lot of shrapnel. A few weeks' rest and you should be just fine.” She looked sternly at Lucy. “And I do mean rest. Relax. Don't even _think_ about going on anymore missions.”

Lucy frowned. “I hadn't planned on it.”

“Good. Revenge can wait,” the doctor said as she walked to the door. “I'll check on you again in a few hours.”

Lucy looked again at her husband and her uncle, trying without success to read the odd expression on both of their faces. “Okay let's try this again. What makes you so absolutely positive it was the Illusive Man? And what the  _hell_ did the doc mean by  _revenge can wait_ ?”

“You... we... weren't the only ones who were targeted,” Zaeed said after a moment.

“There were others? What do you mean _we_?”

“Liara warned me just in time, the message I'd gotten from her wasn't actually from her. It was a goddamn trap set by the Illusive Man. Everyone else who was on the suicide mission was a target as well.”

“I guess that's what Liara was trying to say when she sent me that chat, tried to warn me not to go home, probably. Is anyone... did everyone escape?”

Zaeed hesitated before he said,  “Yes and no.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“The crew is mostly fine; not much worse than after the fight on the Collector base.  Ours was the only place rigged to explode.”

“Okay... so what's the _no_ part?”

“Couple of the crew weren't targeted directly; the Illusive Man went after their families instead.”

Lucy paled. “Joker?”

Zaeed nodded as he gently squeezed her hand. “The transport he and his dad and sister were on was sabotaged and crashed. He's... well, like I said, about the same as after the Collector base. And Hilary's fine. But their dad didn't make it.”

Lucy threw her head back on the pillow to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay. “Are they safe now?” she asked around the lump in her throat.

“Last I heard, yeah. Feron picked them up. They're on their way to Vancouver.”

“Anyone else? You said...”

“Miranda's sister, her family was killed; Jacob's mother too. Not a damn clue where any of the three of them are though.”

She turned to Hackett. “You weren't a target, were you?”

“Not that I know of, no. But I haven't been home in... days. I've been sleeping in my office, when I could get five minutes' peace.” 

“Why?”

He shook his head. “Nothing for you to worry about. You said you didn't want to have anything to do with the Alliance anymore, remember?”

She sighed. “Fine.”

He frowned at his omni-tool as a message came in. “I'm sorry, Lucy, but I'm going to have to go back to my office for awhile.” He gently kissed the top of her head as he stood. “Be good. Rest. I'll be back later.”

* * *

> _From: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _To: Multiple Recipients_
> 
> _Subj: Check-In_
> 
> _I know Zaeed already sent one of these out, but just... humor me, okay? Please, respond to this as you're able._
> 
> _I am... so so sorry. This is entirely my fault. Shut up, Zaeed, yes it fucking is. If I hadn't decided to shut out the Illusive Man, this wouldn't have happened._
> 
> _Please, everyone stay safe. Stay on your guard. This isn't over, not by a long shot. He will come after us again; he won't stop until we're all dead._
> 
> _Everyone check-in every once in awhile too, just to make sure we're all still kicking._
> 
> _Again, I'm sorry._
> 
> _-Shepard_


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos :)

“Why the bloody hell are we going to this goddamn thing anyway?”

Lucy giggled at Zaeed's indignation as she peeked out of the closet, her arms folded across her chest to hold up her black and white floral strapless dress. “Zip me up?” she said, beckoning him over from where he was _pouting_ on the bed. “As for why we _have_ to go, Uncle Steven wanted us to get together as a family one more time before we leave.”

Zaeed finished zipping up the dress and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest. “ Fine, but w hy does it have to be some formal do?”

Lucy hated dressing up and going to formal functions, but her feelings on the matter were  _nothing_ compared to Zaeed's.

“It's either this or delay leaving for yet another day.” She pulled away, walking over to the dresser to sort through her jewelry. “He's the head of the Alliance military. He _has_ to be there.”

“You know he's just going to try to get you to rejoin the Alliance.”

“No, he won't.” She sighed. “It's also a.... show of good faith or something, that I'm well and truly done with Cerberus.”

“Almost getting blown to hell wasn't enough evidence of that?”

She shrugged. “I  can think of a few people who'd still be unconvinced. ”

He  wrapped his arms around her waist again and laid a line of kisses across her bare shoulder up her neck to her ear . “I  can think  of so many  _better_ things we could be doing,”  he said, his voice a low growl.

S he caught his hand as it wandered up her stomach toward her breasts. “If I was  _medically cleared_ to do any of those things, we wouldn't be stuck on Arcturus in the first place,” she said, turning her head to graze her lips along his jaw. “We'd  _already_ be on that island in the sun and not having this con...versation...” Her voice trailed off as she looked at her jewelry box.

“What? What's wrong?”

S he started frantically pulling out the drawers  and shifting jewelry around. “The  chain with my rings, it's  missing .”

“You don't need it anymore,” Zaeed murmured in her ear as he handed her a small velvet box. He opened it to reveal her wedding and engagement rings nestled inside, now completely undamaged and separated.

Lucy spun around and threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you. You have any idea how much I missed being able to _wear_ them?”

He brought her left hand down to put the rings on her finger. “It's fucking stupid, but I was beginning to think they were cursed... all the times Tony slipped through my fingers the two years you were gone, and then all the shit that's happened in the last few months.”

“So by getting them repaired, the curse would be broken?” she said with a smirk.

“Something like that.”

She leaned up and kissed him. “You are so adorable.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” He turned her toward the door, clearly trying to hide the faint blush that crept up his neck. “Let's... can we go get this goddamn thing over with?”

She bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud as she grabbed her shawl from the back of the chair and hurried from the room.

Zaeed sighed as he followed after her. 'This is going to be one bloody long night.”

* * *

“Will you quit scowling?” Lucy said as she set a whiskey in front of Zaeed and sat beside him. “You're gonna give the impression you don't want to be here.”

“Yeah, well, I _don't_ ,” he said, his scowl deepening as he eyed the man who was walking towards them. “What the hell does he want?”

“Hello to you, too, Massani,” the newly appointed Admiral Anderson said with a smirk. “And nice to see you back on Arcturus, Shepard. It's been awhile.”

“It's temporary,” Lucy said. “ _Very_ temporary. We're leaving tomorrow.”

“Can't come soon enough,” Zaeed muttered into his whiskey.

She ignored him and turned back to Anderson. “I was surprised to hear you were back with the Alliance.”

“It's a strange thing,” the Admiral said. “Thought I'd retire if I ever left the Council, but your uncle is very persuasive.”

“That he is.”

“Has he not tried to convince you to rejoin since you're done with Cerberus?”

Lucy reached over and covered Zaeed's mouth with her hand when he started another rant. “He tried... once. I hung up on him.”

Anderson raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

She shrugged. “That part of my life is over now. If I hadn't... died, then yeah, I'd probably still be with the Alliance, might have stayed in for life. But that's just not who I am anymore.”

“Sorry to hear that, Shepard. You were one of the best we ever had. Doubt we'll ever see another like you.”

She blushed faintly. “Thank you.”

“Are you sure –”

“Positive. Even if I wanted to, I need... rest. It's been a rough few months.”

“Understood.” He briefly placed a hand on her shoulder as he turned to go. “Stay safe.”

“You too.” As Anderson walked away, Lucy reached over and squeezed Zaeed's hand under the table. “You can stop grinding your teeth now, Z. Honestly...”

“I'm just waiting for the day when Hackett's _please_ breaks through your wall of _no_ and you end up back in uniform.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “ _If_ that day ever comes, and knowing my luck, it's not all that far off, you're coming with me.”

He raised her head with his fingertips under her chin and kissed her. “Wouldn't have it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucy's dress: http://www.polyvore.com/lucy_party_on_arcturus/set?id=133068534


	39. Chapter 39

“Uncle Steven, do you happen to know anything about this... bear with tattoos that just landed an Alliance shuttle on my island?” Lucy asked, pacing in front of the terminal in the living room of the beach house. It had been almost four months since the Illusive Man's attack and she was still very much on edge, so some stranger landing on the island was... unsettling. Zaeed being away on what Liara assured her was a _legitimate_ hunt for Vido wasn't helping.

“I'm sorry, did you say a _bear_?” A look of bewilderment and confusion passed over Hackett's face for a moment. “Oh. You mean Vega. Biggest Marine I've ever seen in my entire life.”

“Who is Vega?”

“Lt. James Vega. He's Major Carlson's lieutenant.”

“And... what the hell is he doing here?” Lucy frowned. “He's not here on some mission to get me to rejoin the Alliance, is he? Try to persuade me while I'm all alone?”

Hackett rolled his eyes. “Of course not. You think I'd have sent a stranger to do that job?”

She ignored the obvious implications of that statement and got back to the matter at hand. “Why. Is. He. Here.”

“He's an escort of sorts.”

“Excuse me? What the hell do I need an _escort_ for? I'm not going anywhere.” There was a sharp knock on the front door. “Hold on.”

She walked to the front door. “Identify yourself,” she called through the door, her finger hovering above the key to open it.

“Lt. Commander James Vega, Alliance Navy,” said a voice on the other side of the door. “I was sent by Admiral Hackett.”

She sighed and paused a moment before opening the door. “Come in,” she said, staring up at the absolutely enormous man standing on the deck. Even up close, he looked like a bear.

“Gracias.” He snapped a salute as he spotted the Admiral on the vid-comm and turned back to look at Lucy. “I guess you know why I'm here?”

“Not really, no.” She jerked her head toward the vid-comm. “He was just getting around to explaining it. I think.”

“There's been an increase in Cerberus activity in the last few days,” Hackett said. “We think it has something to do with the Reapers.”

“And?”

“And we need you to come b–”

Lucy held up a hand. “You _just said_ you weren't going to ask me that.”

“No, I said that's not why Lt. Vega is there. But we _need_ you, Lucy.”

“I said _no_ , Uncle Steven,” she snapped. “N-fucking-O. How many times do I have to say it?”

“Lucy, please. Be reasonable.”

“Excuse me?”

Hackett sighed. “I –”

“You never wanted me to join the Alliance in the first place, remember? Because you didn't want me to end up like Dad. Or Kevin. So why the fuck would you want me to come back to it now?”

“Lucy, _please_ ,” he said again. “We need y–”

“You want to know _why_ you fucking _need_ me?” she snarled. “Because you fucking _refused_ to listen to me three fucking years ago. You made your own fucking bed.”

“That was never me,” he insisted. “Other members of the admiralty, I'm sure. The Council, definitely. But never me.”

“Bullshit.”

“You really are exactly like Kevin.” Hackett shook his head. “Both too damn stubborn for your own good. You are going to have to get it through your thick Shepard skull –”

Lucy scoffed. “Stubbornness is not a Shepard trait. That comes 100% from your side of the family.”

He rolled his eyes. “Regardless, someday you _will_ realize that I had no choice sending you on that mission. And I still regret it every single day.”

“Uncle Steven, I lost two years of my life, almost died a few times after that, too. But now, I can start trying to make up for lost time.”

“If the Reapers invade, time's up. For everyone.”

“I-I can't go back to... I absolutely refuse to be anyone's fucking pawn anymore.”

“I understand. Will you think about it? We do need you, Lucy.”

She sighed and sank into the chair behind her. “Fine. I'll think about it. I need to talk it over with Zaeed first.”

“Fair enough. But don't take too long to decide. No one knows how much time we really have left.”

She nodded. “Just give me a couple of days, 'til he gets back.This kind of conversation is one we need to have in person, not over the vid-comm.”

“All right. Lieutenant, keep her safe. Hackett out.”

As the screen went dark, Lucy stood up and turned to the lieutenant, who was standing in the corner, concentrating a hard stare at his boots. She sighed. “I'm sorry you had to hear that, lieutenant. My uncle and I don't disagree on a whole hell of a lot, but when we do, it's... not pretty.”

He looked up and flashed a grin at her. “'S all right. Happens in the best of families. And please, it's James.”

“So _James_ ,” she said, returning his grin and ushering him to the group of seats in the middle of the room. “Since he didn't bother actually telling me why you're here, would you care to fill in the details?”

He shrugged as he sat in an armchair. “Apparently there's some committee or something in Vancouver, trying to figure out what to do when the Reapers get here. And for some reason, _someone_ out there thinks you need an escort to get there.”

She raised an eyebrow. “When? They've finally gone from _if_ to _when_?”

He nodded.

“And who's the someone? Do you know?”

“Nope. Heard Major Carlson talking about the defense committee wanting to interrogate you, but I didn't ask him about it.”

“Interrogate... that sounds _fun_ ,” Lucy said, rolling her eyes. She glanced over at James, thinking on her uncle's parting words . “So are you _really_ here just as an escort or did Uncle Steven have some other ulterior motive?”

He shook his head. “Admiral Hackett signed off on it, but my being here was entirely because of Major Carlson.”

She narrowed her eyes at James. “Go on.”

He looked _nervous_ , which really didn't help. “The Major called me back when I was heading out for shore leave on Omega , said he had a special assignment, a protection detail. He said you were on your own for a couple of weeks and that right now, that wasn't _ideal_.”

She felt a thread of panic in her heart but maintained her composure, for the moment. “Why?”

James shrugged. “Something about somebody named Tony, that he'd been spotted in Dallas.It's also why he and the Admiral wanted you to go to Vancouver sooner rather than later. Thought you'd be safer there.”

“Well, they're not wrong,” Lucy said quietly.

“Who's Tony?”

“My ex-boyfriend from... a million years ago. I broke up with him when I was 18, but he's been a thorn in my side ever since.” She chewed her lip a moment before she added, “He also happens to be Major Carlson's son.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Say what? Seriously?”

“They'd probably both deny it at this point.”

“So, what do you want to do?” he asked when she didn't say anything else. “You said you wanted to talk things over with your husband first?”

“Before I make a decision about rejoining the Alliance, yes. But just going to Vancouver doesn't mean I've agreed to anything.” She hopped up off the couch. “Just give me a few minutes to pack some stuff and we can head out.”

He nodded. “I'll be in the shuttle whenever you're ready.”

* * *

> _From: Zaeed_
> 
> _To: Lucy_
> 
> _Subj: re: Vancouver_
> 
> _Vido's dead, finally, so I'll meet you in Vancouver in a couple of days. I need to pick up a couple of things on Arcturus first._
> 
> _I love you. Stay safe._
> 
> _-Z_


	40. Chapter 40

“Major Shepard?”

It took Lucy a moment to realize anyone was talking to _her_. It was only when the two men she was sitting with both gave her odd looks that she remembered the promotion she'd received the day before, a _bribe_ from the Defense Committee to get her back into the Alliance.

She turned to find a young corporal fidgeting nervously with the datapad in his hand and internally rolled her eyes. “What can I do for you, Corporal?” she asked cordially, suppressing the snark she could feel rising within her.

_Why do I always get the_ _ nervous _ _ones?_

“The um... the Defense Committee needs to see you ASAP. Ma'am.” He looked over her head toward James and Kaidan. “And sirs, Admiral Anderson needs to see both of you.”

“Again?” Kaidan grumbled, chugging the last of his beer while James pulled out a credit chit to pay for their lunches. “What'd we do this time?”

“What I want to know is how he managed to track us down,” Lucy said in hushed tones as they followed the corporal back to the Alliance compound. She mockingly glared at Kaidan. “I blame you.”

“What the hell did I do?”

“You picked the café,” James chimed in as he caught up to them.

Lucy nodded. “Exactly. You promised a stress-free and long lunch.”

“ I am  _ so _ sorry ,” Kaidan said, rolling his eyes. “ Next time, I'll pick something on the other side of the country. ”

“ They'd probably still track us down.”

“You do know we just use the CCTV from around the city to find you,” Anderson said as he walked up behind them.

Lucy clutched her chest mockingly. “Don't  _ do _ that. You'll give us a collective  heart attack . And then where would you be?”

Anderson shook his head. “I'd be out three very sarcastic officers, that's where.”

“And you'd be sad,” she said with a smirk.

“Indeed.”

“So what's the Defense Committee want this time?”

Kaidan nudged her out of the way. “Forget them, what did _you_ want from _us_ , sir?”

“You're all _children_ ,” Anderson muttered. “I'm just glad to see you two finally being civil to each other,” he added with a glance at Lucy and Kaidan.

“It was Uncle Steven's doing,” Lucy said. “When we talked to him yesterday, he threatened to reach through the screen and clunk our heads together if we couldn't be nice.”

“I can imagine.” Anderson stopped abruptly and cocked his head to the side as he looked at the sky above the Defense Committee's offices. “What is that sound?”

Lucy looked up as well. She felt like she'd heard that sound somewhere before but couldn't remember where or when. “Look at those dark clouds too. Y'all didn't hear anything about storms today, did you?”

The three men all shook their heads.

“This is... something's wrong.”

A moment later, Lucy found herself pinned between James and Kaidan as a series of explosions rocked the compound.

“Reapers... it's the Reapers,” Kaidan said as he hauled her to her feet. “I remember the sound from Eden Prime, when Sovereign took off.”

“Of course! That's what it was.” She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. “I knew it was familiar but –”

“Less chatter, more running,” Anderson yelled. “You three need to get to the Normandy.”

Kaidan and Lucy both spun around and gawked at him.

“You don't mean you want us to leave Earth, leave you here?” she asked. “We can't do that!”

“You can and you _will_ ,” the Admiral said fiercely. “This isn't just a problem for Sol; the Reapers will be galaxy-wide soon, if they're not already. You need to stop them. Vega, make sure they get on the goddamn ship.”

James nodded but he didn't look any happier about it than Kaidan and Lucy did.

“Now _move_!”

Lucy barely registered the gunfire and explosions around her as James pushed her forward, heading to the docks. All her thoughts were focused on the fact that the Reapers would have passed by Arcturus before they got to Sol. Judging from the destruction in just a few minutes on Earth, she didn't even want to imagine what they'd done to the station. There was more than a fair chance that both her uncle and her husband were dead.

“Shepard, come on!” Kaidan yelled, shaking Lucy from her thoughts. “Joker says he's leaving your ass here if you're not on the ship in the next 30 seconds!”

She took a flying leap amidst gunfire from Reaper-controlled creatures resembling mutated batarians and hit the ramp hard. As she scrambled up the ramp, reaching for James' hand, she felt something clamp down on her ankle and she began sliding backwards.

“Just hold on,” James said, his voice more calm than the look on his face.

After a few tense seconds, the pressure on Lucy's ankle let up as James and Kaidan shot the creature holding her back. James quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her up and into the shuttle bay.

EDI's voice suddenly echoed in the space, “Shepard is inside the ship.”

“Thank the gods,” Joker's voice said over the comm system. “I do _not_ want to have to tell Admiral Hackett that I left her behind again.”

“That's not even the least bit funny,” Lucy snapped as she limped over to a workbench on the far wall. Her ankle was throbbing painfully; the batarian, or whatever the hell it was, had had a strong grip.

“It wasn't a joke. He should be on the terminal down there, assuming we're still connected.”

“We are,” EDI chimed in while Lucy limped back across the shuttle bay to the terminal. “The connection is getting weaker, however, so you should hurry, Shepard.”

Lucy temporarily forgot how to speak as she watched the heavily-distorted image of her uncle appeared on the screen.

“...see you too, sweetheart,” he said with a faint smile. “Are... okay?”

She tried to smile even as she gripped the sides of the counter until her knuckles turned white. “Yeah, fine,” she finally said. “We're heading to the Citadel. Seems the safest place for now.”

“First... need you to…” The image wavered violently for several seconds and the screen went dark.

“Need me to what? Damn it.” She sighed heavily. “Joker? Continue on course to the Citadel.”

“If I might make a suggestion,” EDI said. “Admiral Hackett may have wanted you to go to Mars. Dr. T'Soni has been there for the last few months.”

“Fine,” Lucy conceded. “Change course, I guess. I'm heading up to the med-bay to... do something with my ankle.” She looked over at Kaidan and James. “Get some gear ready. Who the hell knows what we'll end up finding when we get to Mars.”


	41. Chapter 41

“– _Station was all but disintegrated by Reaper –”_

“– _no survivors.”_

“– _hardest-hit cities in the UNAS is Fort Worth. By some accounts, it has been completely destroyed. Chances of finding survivors –”_

“– _Emily Wong, signing off for probably the last time. Good-bye and good luck.”_

Lucy rolled her eyes when Kaidan told the TV to shut the hell up before he switched it off.

“What the hell do you think you're going to learn that we don't already know?” he asked irritably as he rummaged through a box of medical supplies, the remnants of Dr. Chakwas' immaculately-kept med-bay.

She shrugged. “Dunno. Just... feels like we're in the dark, y'know? I guess I was hoping there'd be some sort of news about Vancouver.”

“Fair point. Would be nice to know if anyone is still...” He trailed off as he finally found what he was looking for. “Sorry, Shepard. This is probably gonna hurt like hell.”

She braced herself against the antiseptic he poured on her leg before pulling out the bullet. “How's a med-bay _on a warship_ not have medigel?” she said through gritted teeth.

“Everybody figured they'd be done with the retrofit and restock before the Reapers got here,” Kaidan said as he finished wrapping a bandage and tied it off. “That should hold you 'til we get to the Citadel.”

“Thanks.” Lucy gave him a tight smile. “Handy having a field medic around again.”

“You mean you didn't have anybody but Chakwas on this last mission?”

“No, we had a salarian doctor named Mordin too. But he spent the majority of his time in the lab, trying to find a counteraction to those bug things that froze the colonists on... Horizon.”

_Shit_ .  They had both been extremely careful about not mentioning Cerberus or Horizon the last few days, for fear their  newly renewed friendship would crumble completely.  And considering the blowout argument they'd had not an hour ago on Mars, the fact that they hadn't killed each other was nothing short of a miracle.

“Salarian? Interesting. Was he as... _enthusiastic_ as Captain Kirrahe?” he asked, apparently ignoring her mention of Horizon entirely.

“Occasionally, yes. But not about military tactics. He was more of an _opera_ fan.”

Kaidan raised an eyebrow. “Opera? Really?”

Lucy grinned at the memory. “Yeah. He sang for me once. He was pretty damn good.”

“What happened to him? Did he survive the mission?”

“Yeah. Came back with a full crew plus about half of the colonists. Everyone kind of went into hiding after the attack though, so I have no idea where he ended up.” She shrugged. “For all I know, he's back on Omega, working in the clinic where we first found him.”

“We're coming up on the Citadel,” Joker called over the comm system. “One or both of you might want to get up here in case they ask for the CO. I have a feeling they're gonna be strict with their docking policy.”

“Thanks, Joker,” Lucy said. “Kaidan will be up in a minute.”

“Why me?” he asked, helping her off the table. “This is your ship.”

“Because of the two of us, you're the only one wearing a um... full pair of pants.”

He glanced down at her tattered fatigues, the left leg separated entirely from the rest and lying on the floor. “Right. You need any help getting... wherever the hell you're going?”

She shook her head, trying not to laugh at the blush that was creeping up his neck. “Just going to the elevator and then up a couple of floors. In theory, there's still spare fatigues in the Loft. I hope.”

Lucy breathed a deep sigh when the elevator doors closed on Kaidan and the CIC. In truth, she likely would have asked Liara for help getting around, but she desperately _needed_ the alone time. It had been an emotionally exhausting day and she needed time to decompress before she and Liara met with the Council.

As soon as the door to the Loft closed behind her, she slid down the wall, collapsed on the floor and wept. She knew she was probably being ridiculous. Zaeed had likely left Arcturus long before the Reapers swept through. But the pessimistic side of her brain reasoned that it was equally possible he _hadn't_ and that he was now... she didn't even want to finish that thought.

After a few minutes, she attempted to pick herself up off the floor but only succeeded in causing her leg to hurt even more.

_Fuck Cerberus_ , she cursed silently as she succeeded in standing on her second attempt.  _Fuck the Reapers_ .

* * *

> _From: James Carlson_
> 
> _To: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _Subj: Tony_
> 
> _I am almost positive I saw him at one of the skyports here on the Citadel, but by the time I got close enough to be sure, he was gone. This will come across as cold-hearted, though maybe not to you, but I'd really hoped he wouldn't have escaped Earth._
> 
> _In any case, I would advise you not to go anywhere on the Citadel alone. I trust Vega is still with you?_
> 
> _Stay safe._
> 
> _-JC_

* * *

“I didn't think the Council could be any more unhelpful than they'd been back when we were hunting Saren,” Kaidan said as he walked up to the table where James and Lucy were people-watching in Purgatory, the latest club to open on the Citadel.

“They were downright _friendly_ back then compared to how they've treated me these last few months,” she retorted. She glanced over at James, who looked like he'd rather be anywhere but right there. “What's wrong, LT?”

He shook his head. “Just... seems like we should be _doing_ something, y'know? Not just standing around drinking.”

“And what would you have us do, James? The Council's still _in talks_ and Admiral Hackett hasn't been in touch with more orders.”

James opened his mouth to say something else but another voice spoke up instead, just behind Lucy. “What's this? Saint Lucy slumming it in a _bar_?”

She swore under her breath as she glanced over her shoulder. “Could this day get any fucking worse?”

“I see you got yourself a couple of new guard dogs,” Tony said with what sounded like smug satisfaction. “Finally decide Massani wasn't doing it for you anymore?”

“Leave me alone, Tony.”

He laughed derisively and put a hand on her shoulder. “Sound like I touched a nerve there.”

Seconds later, he was on his knees, tears streaming down his face as Lucy twisted his arm behind his back. “I said _leave me alone_ ,” she snarled. “What part of that have you not fucking understood for the last thirteen years?”

“I –”

“Would it help you understand if I broke your nose, and your dick, again?”

He shook his head and whimpered as she twisted just a bit more.

“Will you leave me the hell alone?”

He hesitated slightly before he nodded once.

She twisted once more and released him. “If I see you anywhere near me again, I will shoot you.”

“Why wait? Do it now and save yourself the trouble later.” Turning back to her table, Lucy was startled to find Zaeed standing where James and Kaidan had been moments before, her mocktail in his hand.

“In a bar full of Marines, in the middle of a war?” she said with a slow smile as she walked around the table and put her arms on his shoulders. “Bit of a morale killer, don't ya think?”

“Not for me.” He put an arm around her waist and pulled her close, frowning at the way she leaned so heavily on him. “You all right, sweetheart?”

She leaned up to kiss him, ignoring the pain in her leg. “Never better.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos and the lovely comment :)

“Just fucking perfect,” Lucy muttered as she left Udina's office and spotted her _favorite_ reporter heading her way. She was already in a foul mood after a second meeting with the Council; their idea of _help_ was to send her off to the turian homeworld to retrieve the  Primarch for a war summit. On top of that, Udina wanted to see Kaidan alone. That did not bode well, for anyone.

Khalisah rushed up to her, camera at the ready.  “Commander, if I could just  ask you a few questions.”

L ucy  walked straight past her without even looking in her direction .

“Commander Shepard!”

She was nearly at the embassy's elevators when she finally gave in. “It's  _Major_ Shepard, actually,”  she snapped as she spun around to face  Khalisah . “I realize you aren't keen on getting all the  _facts_ before you do an interview, Ms. al-Jilani. But in case you hadn't noticed, there's a  _war_ raging outside these pristine walls.”

“But I –”

“People are scared. They need facts, the gods' honest truth, not what you decide is going to get you the best ratings. They need to see the truth of what's happening, galaxy-wide. It won't be long at all before there's not a corner of the galaxy the Reapers haven't touched. Now, if you want an interview where you won't twist my words to your own meaning, I'd be happy to answer your questions. Otherwise,” she gestured toward Zaeed and James were standing beside the elevators trying unsuccessfully to hide their laughter. “My crew is waiting.”

Khalisah looked stunned, more so than she had when Lucy had punched her in the face, and for once said nothing.

Lucy shook her head as she walked toward the elevators. “That's what I thought.”

“That was bloody brilliant,” Zaeed said, kissing her fiercely, seemingly uncaring about the eyes that might be watching, including Khalisah's.

“I won't forget this, _Major_ ,” the reporter called after them as they and James walked into the elevator. “This... this isn't over.”

Lucy sighed heavily as she hit the button to take them up to the docking bay. “Why is she so fucking obsessed with me? It's beyond irritating, especially since she has this way of always finding me when I'm in the absolute worst mood.”

“Well, _she_ was already on the warpath anyway,” James said. “She'd just come out of Bailey's office; looked like he wasn't any more willing to talk to her than you were.”

She cracked a smile. “Dunno who she thinks she's kidding; Bailey's been in C-Sec for ages, dealing with the worst of the worst. He's not gonna be intimidated by one bitchy, albeit persistent, reporter.”

“And you shouldn't either,” Zaeed said. “You've dealt with much worse than her and lived to tell about it.”

She shrugged. “I guess.”

“What'd Udina want?” James asked after a few moments of tense silence. “Is he gonna help us or what?”

Lucy shook her head. “Udina doesn't _help_ anyone unless it in some way benefits him.”

“And not being killed by the Reapers isn't a benefit to him?”

“Apparently not. Arrogant bastard probably thinks he's invincible.”

“Where's Alenko?” Zaeed asked, apparently just noticing the Major wasn't with them.

“Udina wanted a word with him. Said he'd either catch up to us or he'd be here when we got back from Palaven.”

“Palaven? So to help get Earth back, we have to save the turians?”

“One specific turian, but yes.”

* * *

> _From: L. Shepard_
> 
> _To: K. Alenko_
> 
> _Subj: re: News_
> 
> _No time to swing by the Citadel for a pick up, sorry. We're headed straight for Sur'Kesh. We may be back after that._
> 
> _Congrats on the whole Spectre thing. But be careful. Udina's likely got a very specific reason for wanting you._
> 
> _Garrus & Wrex say hi, btw._
> 
> _Hopefully see you in a few days._
> 
> _-Shepard_

* * *

By the time the Normandy finally docked at the Citadel again, Lucy and her crew were just about begging to fight Reapers. All they'd seen in the last week was Cerberus. From crashing the party on Sur'Kesh to making evacuation of Grissom Academy damn near impossible, it seemed the Illusive Man had really stepped up his game. Lucy knew it was only a matter of time before he made a major move.

When she went to Purgatory, looking for Kaidan, she knew she'd been right.

“Aria?” She thought her eyes were playing tricks when she spotted the Queen of Omega sitting on a couch in the lounge section of the club. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I would say I'm here for the same reason as you, to relax,” the asari said. “But in all the years I've known you, I've _never_ seen you relax.”

“Too much to do, too little time. And I meant why are you on the Citadel?”

“I'm a refugee, just like everyone else in this gods-forsaken place,” Aria said bitterly. “The Illusive Man stole Omega from me.”

“Sorry to hear that. From what I've seen the last few days, his army is out in force. Wish I knew what the hell his endgame is.”

Aria patted the seat next to her. “Join me for a drink, Shepard? I've got a little proposition for you.”

“What kind of proposition?” Lucy asked, not moving an inch. Aria didn't give anything freely. There was always a catch.

“One that benefits us both.”

Lucy sighed and reluctantly sat down, though she refused the drink the bartender offered. “All right, out with it.”

“You promise to help me take back Omega, whenever I ask, and I'll give you Omega's gangs to fight in the war.”

Lucy shook her head. “Can't be that simple. What's the catch?”

“You just have to convince their leaders to report to me.” Lucy hesitated and Aria added, “The alternative is the Eclipse, Blue Suns, and Blood Pack running amok on the Citadel. I doubt your Commander Bailey would be very happy with that, would he?”

Lucy sighed. “Fine. Where do I start?”


	43. Chapter 43

_Just breathe_ , Lucy kept reminding herself over and over as she was _held prisoner_ by a batarian, one of Aria's contacts, in one of the small apartments off the Presidium. They were waiting for the Blood Pack leadership to show up. The batarian, Narl, was supposed to hand Lucy over to the Blood Pack in exchange for their cooperation with Aria. That was what the Pack's leader, a vorcha named Kreete believed anyway. In truth, at least according to Narl, and Lucy still didn't entirely trust him, the deal was actually with Kreete's second, a vorcha named Gryll, who only wanted his boss dead.

All Lucy knew was if she made it out of the deal alive, she was going to kill Aria. Dealing with batarians and vorcha was definitely the low point of the day, but it wasn't as if the rest of the day had been filled with sunshine and bunnies.

She'd only talked to Darner Vosque, the Blue Suns leader since Vido's death, for about five minutes, but in that time, he proved to be as big a creep as Tony had ever been. And she was more than a little grateful that Jona Sederis, the founder of the Eclipse, was locked up tight in C-Sec. Aria aside, she was likely the most deranged asari Lucy had ever met. She'd been more than happy to make a deal with Sederis' second instead.

The door on the other side of the room opened, bringing Lucy back to the present. As the group of vorcha filed in, Narl's grip on her hands and neck tightened and she had an instant flashback to that night on Mindoir. But before the panic fully set in, she felt the batarian slide her pistol back into her hands.

Even as her hold tightened on the familiar and comforting grip of her gun, and her heartbeat dropped back to normal levels, she tried to maintain a look of utter indifference while Kreete threw a barrage of insults her way. When he stated gleefully that he looked forward to using her severed head as a hood ornament, Narl and Gryll had apparently heard enough.

“Now!” Gryll shouted, brandishing an assault rifle.

In one fluid motion, as if they'd practiced for this moment, Narl released his grip on Lucy's throat as she drew the gun from behind her back and shot Kreete in the head.

When the group of vorcha lay dead in a pile on the floor, Lucy turned to Gryll.

“Don't cross Aria, or me,” she said, a note of warning in her voice. “I guarantee you won't survive it.”

He shook his head. “I'm ambitious, Shepard, not stupid.”

* * *

 

> _From: S. Hackett_
> 
> _To: Z. Massani_
> 
> _Subj: re: Interview_
> 
> _Yes, I saw the interview, if it can really be called that. That woman has sunk to an all-time low._
> 
> _And no, you can't kill Tony. Yet. We'll take him down when the time is right. That time is not during a galactic war._
> 
> _Is Lucy all right? I haven't heard from her in a couple of days and I was surprised she missed the call from Anderson._
> 
> _Keep me updated._
> 
> _-Hackett_

* * *

“EDI, do you know where Shepard is?” Zaeed had been looking for Lucy for over an hour, since Kahlissah had aired an “interview” she'd done with Tony. He didn't even want to know how the two had connected. He'd talked to James, Kaidan, and Garrus, and walked though what felt like half of the Citadel but couldn't find Lucy anywhere. It hit a little close to home, reminding him of the time she'd been taken by Antella, though he suspected she was trying to exact revenge on Tony and the goddamn reporter. “She's not answering her comm or messages.”

“Of course, Mr. Massani,” the AI replied instantly. “I know the location of every registered member of the Normandy's crew.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes when she didn't say anything else. “Well? Where is she?”

“She is in Commander Bailey's office in the Human Embassy. Would you like me to send her a message?”

“No.” Zaeed quickly made his way to the elevators, growling impatiently when none were close to his floor. “I'm not far from the Embassy. Let me know if she heads to some other location though.”

“Very well. Logging you out.”

When he arrived at Bailey's office, he found the C-Sec Commander and Lucy in the midst of a heated argument.

“I sympathize, Shepard, I really do,” Bailey said. “But there's nothing I can do. My men are stretched thin enough as it is and neither of them actually broke any law.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Lucy growled. “It's fucking slander! The whole fucking _interview_.”

Bailey hesitated. “I can't –”

“Look, Tony's on parole,” she continued. “You should at least be able to lock him up for breaking parole.”

“As much as I want that psycho locked up, or shot,” Zaeed said as he walked into the room. “His parole officer is dead.”

She glared at him. “So? You took him back that one time when he escaped Arcturus and came here, remember? So it's not like the terms of his parole evaporated when Arcturus was destroyed.” She sighed when neither Zaeed nor Bailey responded. “Like I said ages ago, I guess I'm just gonna have to set myself as bait if we want to catch him.”

“You honestly think he's going to be stupid enough to fall for that, after that warning you gave him in Purgatory the other day?” Lucy gave Zaeed a look and he rolled his eyes. “I know, I know. He definitely is that goddamn stupid.”

She looked at him expectantly. “Well?”

“If you insist, Luce, but later,” he said, remembering Hackett's e-mail. “We've got a war to win first.”

She rolled her eyes and stalked past him and out of the office.

He caught up to her at the elevators. “You missed a call from Anderson.”

“I was... busy.” She slammed her fist into the button for the docking bay. “Is he okay?”

“He's alive, and he's kept Hilary alive. About the best anyone can say when they're in a goddamn warzone.”

“Oh he did manage to get to Hilary?” Lucy smiled as she leaned back against the wall. “Good. I'd hoped they'd connected.”

“That's not all,” Zaeed said. “Joker got a message from Brandi's dad Chris.”

Lucy's face fell. “Not from Brandi?”

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He wrapped a strong arm around her waist. “Apparently she was in Fort Worth visiting him and John for their anniversary. Chris was in Dallas when the Reapers hit.”

“Fuck.”

“He's here on the Citadel now, said there's still a small chance John and Brandi are alive but...”

“Yeah.” Lucy sighed and pushed away from Zaeed as the elevator doors opened. “Come on. I have a sudden need to kick someone's ass. Let's just hope this time it's the Reapers. They need to realize we give as good as we get.”


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos! :)

“This is happening all too bloody often,” Zaeed muttered as he looked through the Normandy crew that had joined Clan Urdnot in celebrating the end of the genophage. Lucy and Mordin should have been somewhere among them but he didn't see either of them anywhere.

“Your mate needs you, human,” said a deep thickly-accented voice behind him. He turned to see Javik, an honest to gods real Prothean that Lucy and Liara had _rescued_ on Eden Prime, slowly walking toward him, holding up Lucy as she stumbled along beside him in a daze.

Zaeed rushed over and took hold of his wife, guiding her toward the nearby shuttle. “What the bloody hell happened?”

“The salarian –”

“ _Mordin_ ,” Lucy muttered fiercely. “His name's Mordin, you arrogant fossil!”

“– was in the top of the tower when it fell,” Javik said, continuing on as if she hadn't spoken. “He is dead.”

“How d'you know that? You were with me, fighting the scavengers.” Zaeed frowned at the Prothean. “And how the bloody hell did you know we're –”

“My people had the ability to read memories and thoughts through skin contact. When I touched the Major's hand, I saw what happened at the tower. And I know you are mates because you share a... scent.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say. How'd you find her anyway?”

“After the _scavengers_ as you call them were  run off, I went for a walk, as I did not wish to join the revelry,” Javik said. “In my cycle, we did not celebrate such small victories.”

“ _Small victories_?”  Zaeed repeated incredulously as he opened the shuttle's side door. “I bloody dare you to say that in front of Wrex.” He shook his head with a sigh. “In any case, thank you. I'm gonna take Shepard back to the ship now.”

Javik nodded and said nothing as he turned back toward the crowd.

“You all right, sweetheart?” Zaeed asked as Lucy dropped heavily into the shuttle's co-pilot seat.

She shrugged indifferently.

“Are you hurt?”

She shook her head.

He knew he wouldn't get anything else out of her just then so concentrated instead on navigating the shuttle back up to the Normandy. When they docked, he  coaxed her up to the med-bay. Even if  _she_ didn't think she was injured, he knew Dr. Chakwas would have  their head s if either of them skipped a post-battle check.

The doctor seemed satisfied that Zaeed had made it through the fight with the Reapers unscathed, but she looked  downright  _grave_ when she'd finished  reading  Lucy's scans.

“What's wrong?” Zaeed asked, taking a seat beside his wife.

“If we weren't in the middle of a war, I'd simply say _congratulations_. But...” The older woman looked at Lucy with something like pity in her eyes. “Shepard... you're pregnant.”

That was the absolute last thing Zaeed had expected to hear. “How?” he sputtered stupidly, breaking the minutes-long tense silence that had filled the room.

Dr. Chakwas  frowned and  raised an eyebrow but Lucy seemed to know exactly what he meant. “The birth control shot  must have  wor n off,” she said quietly. “Last  one I  got was  a couple of days before we left Arcturus, six months ago.  I'd been planning to get it again the day after James and I got to Vancouver, but the Reapers kind of screwed that up. And  I've had so much on my mind since then, I guess I forgot.”

“I'll just... give you two some time to talk things over,” Dr. Chakwas said before she made a hasty retreat to the mess hall.

A lmost immediately, Lucy rushed from the room  as well but headed toward the observation lounge. “I need a drink.”

“Lucy, _no_!” Zaeed ran after her and gently  pinned her back against his chest before she could open the door to the lounge. “Like the doc said, we should _talk_ about this.”

“Talk about what?” She spun around to glare at him. “We're in the middle of a war, one that we are in danger of losing because no one seems to want to _cooperate_ for the greater fucking good. Everybody seems to think _I_ am the only one who can do anything to fix things, and I can't do that if I'm waddling around all over the place  like a fucking manatee, unable to fight.”

“You aren't going to look like a manatee, sweetheart. And let others do the actual fighting for you.”

She sighed and leaned her head against his chest. “I just... I don't know.”

“Don't decide anything right this second. Let's sleep on it.” He brushed a tear from her cheek as he lifted her head up to kiss her. “I'll be beside you, no matter what you want to do.”


	45. Chapter 45

“Well, this is a surprise,” Hackett said, answering the vid-com hail that originated from his own apartment on the Citadel. He couldn't quite decipher the look on his niece's face. “Did I miss a report, or is something wrong?”

Lucy shook her head slightly. “Depends who you ask, really. Dr. Chakwas is worried, Zaeed's... fine, I guess, and I'm... I don't know what I'm feeling yet.”

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “What on Io are you talking about, sweetheart?”

She chewed her lip a long minute before she finally answered. “I'm... pregnant.”

He stumbled back to sit down heavily in his desk chair.

“Uncle Steven, I know that look,” Lucy said after neither had spoken in several minutes. “Stop thinking of ways to kill my husband.”

“I'm not. I... think it would be a good idea for you to come stay on the Crucible. It'll be safer than anywhere else right now.”

Her response was swift and to the point. “No.”

“Lucy...”

She rolled her eyes. “Don't use that tone of voice with me. I'm not sixteen anymore.”

“Thank the gods for that,” Hackett muttered under his breath. “You won't even consider the possibility of staying out here?”

She shook her head. “I'm pregnant, not a fucking invalid that needs to be coddled. I can still do some good in this war, Uncle Steven. I can't do that with all of the security measures in place on the Crucible project.”

“I suppose you're right,” he conceded reluctantly. “What are your plans then?”

“Zaeed and I have been talking it over and we're thinking I'll be fine on the Normandy for the moment. Dr. Chakwas will be right there if I get into trouble.”

“Speaking of Karin, have you told her these plans?”

“Haven't had a chance yet.”

“Really? When did you find out?”

Lucy glanced away from the screen for a moment, he supposed looking at the clock on the desk. “About thirty-six hours ago? She gave us time to discuss everything. We were going to talk to her yesterday, but I received two emergency messages early yesterday morning that put that on hold.”

“I suppose one of those explains why you're on the Citadel?”

She nodded. “I'm here for a meeting with Councilor Valern, about Udina and some suspicious activity. I also got a message from Ambassador Osoba, wanting me to look for his missing son. He was last seen on Benning. So that's where the Normandy went.”

“I see.”

“They're on their way back to the Citadel now though. They ran into a Cerberus ambush and Garrus got hurt pretty bad so Dr. Chakwas wants him to get checked out at Huerta.”

Hackett frowned. “Did something else happen, sweetheart?” He noticed she had a white-knuckle grip on the chair in front of her. She was devoted to her crew, the turian sniper in particular, but this was something else, something more personal.

“Garrus wasn't the only one hurt.” She swallowed hard. “Zaeed took a bad hit while protecting a couple of civilians from a Cerberus turret gun. I couldn't bring myself to read the note Dr. Chakwas attached to James' report, so I don't know all the details.”

“Are you all right? Are you alone?”

Lucy shook her head. “No, Chris is staying here. I just couldn't leave him down in the refugee camp.”

“Good. Tell him he can stay as long as he likes. And take care of yourself, sweetheart. Massani's tough. He'll be fine.”

She nodded uncertainly. “I guess so.”

“He's never given up on you, Lucy. Don't give up on him.”

“I-I'm not. It's just so much, all at once. I need to... shoot something.”

Before Hackett could respond, he heard the buzzer on the front door and then other voices.

“I gotta go. Kaidan's here for the meeting with Valern.”

“All right. Keep me updated. And Lucy? It'll be okay, I promise.”

She smiled faintly. “I know. One way or another, everything will work out.”

“Exactly. Hackett out.”

* * *

 

Lucy was only half-listening to Kaidan rambling on as they walked from Hackett's apartment to the Spectre office where they were going to meet Valern. Suddenly, he yanked her behind a pillar and pinned her against his chest.

“What the _hell_ are you –”

His hand clamped over her mouth cut her off. “Not so fucking loud,” he hissed. “Didn't you hear the gunfire?”

She shook her head. She'd been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't paid any attention to what was going on around them. Now, however, she heard explosions and screams coming from all around them. She felt like she was back on Mindoir yet again.

After a moment, she carefully disentangled herself from Kaidan's grip and peeked around the side of the pillar. She pulled back almost immediately as she saw troops in all too familiar yellow and white armor.

“Cerberus,” she whispered.

“What the hell are they doing here?”

“It doesn't matter why, what matters is they _are_.”  She turned to face him. “We need to split up.”

He looked skeptical. “Why?”

“Because one of us needs to find Valern and one of us needs to find the rest of the Council. We'll meet up somewhere.”

He still looked skeptical but agreed. “Who do you want to take?”

“I guess I'll take Valern. You go after the rest.”

“All right. I think there's a landing pad near Council chambers. Let's meet there?”

She nodded. “See you on the other side.”


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments :)

“You need new armor.”

Zaeed slowly opened his eyes and looked to the right. Lucy was sitting beside his hospital bed, running her fingers over the multiple bullet holes in his chest plate.

“Can't say I disagree with you, sweetheart.” He raised an eyebrow as he gingerly sat up and got a proper look at her. She was covered in cuts and bruises, with a long gash along the left side of her face. “What the bloody hell happened to you? Looks like you lost a fight with a pack of varren.”

“Love you too, honey.” She winced as she got up and sat on the edge of the bed. “Had a run-in with Cerberus, or more specifically, their assassin who tried to take out the Council.”

So that's what all the commotion had been about earlier. “How the hell did they get on the station?”

“That fucking bastard Udina. The _suspicious activity_ Valern had noticed? It was Udina taking meetings and shit from Cerberus.”

Zaeed  noticed Lucy clenching and unclenching her fists. “You all right, sweetheart?”

She nodded slightly. “I'm... fine. It's... Thane was with us, me and Valern, when we ran across the assassin the first time. We fought the assassin together, 'til Thane got stabbed. He's... I just came from his room, talked to Kolyat. He didn't make it.”

He carefully wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I'm so sorry, sweetheart.” After a moment, he pulled back and looked at her. “Did you say Krios was  _stabbed_ ?”

She nodded. “Fucking assassin had a sword. That's indirectly where I got all... this,” she said, gesturing to her face and neck.

“What do you mean?”

“Valern and I left Thane – he made us after we called Bailey – and took a skycab from C-Sec to the Presidium. The assassin jumped on the car and ran the sword through the hood, into the engine, and we crashed.”

Zaeed tried not to think of what that crash had looked like, considering Lucy's injuries. “What happened to Udina?”

“He was with the other Councilors and Kaidan, trying to convince him that I was behind the Cerberus invasion.”

“That shit again?”

She sighed. “Kaidan almost caved, I could see it in his eyes. In the end, Udina got impatient, pulled out a gun of his own, shot Kaidan in the back and took a shot at me. He almost missed me.” She gingerly ran her fingers over a bandage on her arm that Zaeed hadn't noticed before and then pointed to the middle of her forehead as she added, “I definitely didn't miss him though.”

Zaeed leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “That's my girl. Is Alenko okay?”

She nodded. “He's fine. He doesn't go into any sort of fight without putting up biotic shields, and considering he initially thought _I_ might be the assassin, he was definitely still in battle mode.”

“You sure you're all right?” Zaeed hated the fact that Lucy was still having to put herself in harm's way.

“Yes, Z,” she said impatiently. “I'm fine, the baby's fine.” She shook her head as she gave him a once-over. “I'm gonna kill James though. His message made it sound like you were on Death's doorstep.”

He smirked. “Well –”

“Don't blame the lieutenant for your refusal to read the note I added, Shepard,” Dr. Chakwas said as she walked into the room. “And Dr. Michel wasn't finished with you.”

“Tough.” Lucy winced as she settled more fully on the bed. “She wants to poke and prod me any more, she's gonna have to come in here, because I'm not leaving.”

Chakwas sighed heavily and turned to Zaeed. “Mr. Massani, talk to –”

“Hell no.”

She rolled her eyes. “Very well, have it your way. But since I finally have you two in the same place at the same time, perhaps we can discuss your plans for the remainder of the war. I assume you've talked it over?”

“We'd made a plan,” Lucy said. “Before all... this.”

“Are you saying the events of the last 48 hours have changed your plans?”

“No, they've confirmed them, in my mind anyway.” She looked at Zaeed. “You?”

He nodded. “I definitely see the Normandy as the better option.”

Chakwas raised an eyebrow. “You intend to remain on the Normandy, Shepard?”

Lucy shrugged. “Figured James and I could split the command. I'll be the diplomat, he can be the fighter.”

“So, does that mean Alenko's off the crew?” Zaeed asked, hoping the answer was _yes_ , but knowing his luck meant the answer was _no_.

“That would depend on him,” Lucy said, turning toward the doorway where Kaidan stood somewhat awkwardly. “So how 'bout it, Alenko? Think you can trust me?”

“Shouldn't the question be whether you can trust him?” Zaeed muttered darkly.

“He's got a point, Shepard,” Kaidan said after a moment. “Can you trust me?”

Lucy shook her head. “I asked you first. Don't think about it, just answer.”

He hesitated for a split second and that was apparently all the answer she needed.

“Fine then. Get out.”

“Shepard, it's not that simple,” he said.

“It is to me. Either you trust me or you don't. I'm either an Alliance officer or a traitor. There is no in between.” She sighed. “Would have been nice having you back on the ship, considering James, Javik, and Liara will have to fight _every_ battle 'til Zaeed and Garrus are  healed up, but so be it.”

Kaidan stood his ground. “Why just those three? What about you?”

“Cracked ribs aside, I'm _trying_ to stay out of the fighting, though it keeps finding me anyway, because I'm pregnant.”

“Oh.” He glanced between her and Zaeed. “Congratulations.”

She nodded slightly but said nothing else.

He hesitated a moment longer before he said, “I guess I'll see you around, Shepard. I'll just go tell Admiral Hackett that I'm available to lead biotics division after all.”

“See you around.”

“Yeah. Stay safe, Shepard, and good luck.”


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos, bookmark and such a lovely comment :)

_This is only a dream_ , Lucy thought to herself.  _It's just a nightmare. I'm going to close my eyes and when I open them again, this will have all been just a dream._

She closed her eyes, kept them shut for several seconds, but when she opened them, she still saw the same terrible scene in front of her. She was still pinned against the living room wall in her uncle's apartment, Zaeed's hand wrapped around her throat.

“Answer my question,” he growled. “Who. The. Fuck. Are. You?”

“I-I'm not the clone,” she stammered quietly. “I'm Lucy, the real Lucy.”

“Prove it.”

Her mind raced as she tried to think of something, anything that would prove who she was. It hadn't been this hard the first time they'd seen each other after Cerberus brought her back from the dead. He'd been skeptical, but nothing like this.

Finally, she held up her left arm, wrist out. “This is the date we got married, on a beach in Argentina.” She bit her lip hard before she continued. “I-It was threatening to rain the whole day, but it held off until the very end, when we were going back to the hotel for the reception. Then it poured for three days straight. Uncle Steven performed the ceremony because I asked him to. You didn't want him to;  he always thought it was because you didn't like him, but it was because y-you remembered that I'd said once, when I was sixteen, that if I ever got married, I wanted him to walk me down the aisle.”

“Instead, he did both,” Zaeed said quietly. “The way it was meant to be.”

His hand was no longer on her throat and she slid down the wall and pulled her knees up against her chest as he slowly backed away from her and sat on the coffee table across the room.

“I don't... I'm sorry, Luce.” He shook his head. “I don't know what the hell came over me. She looks... exactly like you.”

“Clones tend to do that,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “You didn't notice that she didn't have my tattoos, or the cuts on my face and hands?” 

He shook his head. “Chakwas has that scar repair machine. I thought maybe you just decided –”

“And you didn't notice that _I did_ ,” she said savagely.

He didn't say anything.

“How'd you figure out she wasn't me?” Lucy asked after a moment.

He sighed heavily. “She came in, angrier than you've  _ever_ been –”

“Wouldn't bet on it anymore,” Lucy muttered.

“And she just went off, saying she couldn't take it anymore, that she couldn't stand to be around me anymore and she was leaving. I was already suspicious because it just... came out of nowhere. So then I asked her if she was planning to keep the baby.”

“Guess it's a good thing I didn't try to use that as proof I was me. What'd the bitch say?”

He shook his head. “She didn't say  _anything_ . Just looked at me like I had four heads for about thirty seconds before she gave me a cold smile and backed out of the room.”

“Fuck.”

Neither of them spoke for a long time. Finally, Zaeed looked at Lucy, still not daring to get close to her,  like he was afraid of himself . “What happens now?”

“I don't know... I just don't know.” She bit her lip to keep from crying but the tears came anyway. “You were the one person I always knew I could feel safe with, no matter what. And now I just...” She scrambled to her feet and looked at him for a moment before she turned and ran from the room, snagging a jacket from the coat rack by the front door before she left the apartment. She didn't really know where she was going, wandering for awhile around the Presidium, before she finally found herself in front of a door in the Alliance officers block.

Major Carlson looked mildly surprised when he answered the door, until she lowered the hood on her jacket and she saw a flash of anger in his eyes as he ushered her inside the apartment.

“It wasn't Tony,” she said after awhile.

He nodded. “I figured. I doubt you'd have come  _here_ if it had been.  Who was it? You don't mean Massani...”

She looked down at her hands. “It's... complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

She let out a deep breath before she launched into an account of everything that had happened in the hours since the Major himself had taken her up to Huerta after she'd fallen three stories through a glass fish tank.

He shook his head in disbelief when she was done. “You have a clone? That's what all that with the mercs was before?”

“Please don't make me prove myself,” she said quietly. “I don't think I could do it again.”

He gave her a small smile. “No, I believe you're you.”

“How?”

“Because the clone could have come here and told me all this, and she would have sounded stiff, no emotion whatsoever. She could have tried to fake it, but it wasn't _her husband_ that did this.” He covered her hands with one of his. “It was the same with Massani. It wasn't _what_ you said to him that made him realize who you were, but _how_ you said it. Again, the clone could have told that story about your wedding, there's all sorts of ways she could have found out details. But she wouldn't have told it in the same way. There wouldn't have been any emotion to it at all.”

“If you say so.” Lucy scrubbed her fingers through her hair. “I don't know what to do.”

“Do you love him?”

“Of course I do.”

“Do you trust him?”

The scene flashed through her mind again, Zaeed's hand on her throat, and then the pain in his eyes when he realized what he'd done. “Y-yes.”

Carlson raised an eyebrow at her hesitation. “Do you?”

She nodded slowly. “It might take a little time, but I know it wasn't really his fault, that he wouldn't intentionally hurt me.”

“The clone is out to cause as much chaos as possible, destroy relationships, so she can stand alone.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” Lucy stood up and started for the hallway. She turned and smiled at Carlson. “Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime, Lucy.” He walked her to the front door. “And if you ever need a place to stay, my door is always open.”

The walk back to her uncle's apartment seemed to take hours, though in reality, it was less than five minutes before Lucy was standing on the tiny front step, her hand poised over the keypad to unlock the door. Before she could make a move one way or another, the door slid open and she came face to face with her clone.

“What the hell are you doing here?” they both said at the same time.

“Where is my husband?” Lucy snarled, lunging for the clone.

The clone smiled sweetly as she stepped to the side so that Lucy ended up falling on her face on the floor. “Come in and see,” she said, grabbing Lucy's left arm to drag her to her feet.

Lucy's knees buckled momentarily when pain shot through her arm as the clone pushed her forward into the living room.

“Here's your beloved husband,” the clone said mockingly as she thrust Lucy toward the chair where Zaeed was slumped over and very still. Too still.

Lucy knelt in front of him, keeping an eye on the clone, and breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his pulse. She looked up at the clone. “What did you do to him?”

“Oh relax. He's fine. He just put up too much of a fight, so I had to knock him out.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Of course he put up a fight, you freak. He knew you were a fake.”

“Not for long, I'm not.” The clone pulled out a pistol and aimed it at Lucy's head. “Say your prayers –”

Lucy closed her eyes. A shot rang out and she braced for the hit, but it never came. Instead, she heard a body hit the floor with a heavy _thud_. She looked up to see Chris standing in the doorway, a pistol in his hand and a grim expression on his face. The clone lay at his feet, eyes wide and lifeless.

Chris quickly crossed the room and set the gun on the coffee table before he knelt beside Lucy. “Are you okay?”

She nodded weakly. “I think so. How did you know who was who?”

He shrugged. “Simple. You'd never have risked accidentally shooting Massani by putting the clone this close to him, no matter how upset you were.”

“You're right.” She slowly got to her feet and picked up the gun from the coffee table. “You might want to look away for this,” she said to Chris as she walked over to the clone. He apparently realized what she was about to do as he quickly got up and walked into the back bedroom.

Lucy took a deep breath and shot the clone in the face twice, then once more for good measure, until there was no resemblance left between them.

“What's all the bloody noise for?” Zaeed mumbled as he started awake. He smiled faintly as he saw Lucy across the room. “Glad to see you came back, sweetheart.”

“Glad to see you recognize me now,” she replied bracingly, her feet refusing to move toward him.

He cringed at her words. “I more than deserve that and I'm sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me easily, or ever really. I know you better than I know myself and I should have goddamn realized immediately you were really you.”

“Yes, you should have.” She started across the room and then stopped. “Know what? I can't deal with this right now. I'm heading back to the ship for the night. Before I went to meet Joker at the sushi place, I got a message from Aria. She said they're heading out in the morning to take back Omega.”

“You're not seriously thinking of going with them, are you?”

She shrugged. “I don't know yet.”

“There's not gonna be any goddamn _safe places_ in that battle, Lucy. If you go, there's no guarantee you're coming back.”

“That's kinda the deal with every fight in this war,” she said quietly as she started for the hallway again. “This one included.”


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos :)

“What the hell do you mean she's _in the_ _mech_?” Hackett stared at the lieutenant on his screen. “She actually went into the ocean in that thing?”

“Yes, sir. That's exactly what I mean,” James said. “Cortez and I tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted. Said I wasn't made to fit in something so confining, which is true, and that Cortez had to concentrate on fixing the shuttle.”

“Is she all right?” Hackett asked anxiously. “How long has it been since she went down?”

“About an hour. We lost communication with her long before she reached the bottom, assuming she even did. We're flying blind here, Admiral.”

“Why is she even there with you, Lieutenant? She told me she'd intended to split the command with you, to keep her away from as much fighting as possible.”

“That was the plan as I understood it as well, sir. But she's... changed since the whole clone thing went down.”

“Changed in what way? Is it possible Shepard is... dead, and the clone took her place?”

“No, sir. She is definitely the real Shepard. She's just sort of in a self-destructive mode because of what happened between her and Massani and the clone.”

“ _What_ happened between them?”

James shook his head. “I honestly couldn't tell you, sir. Massani's not on the ship and Shepard won't talk about it.”

“Goddammit.”

Hackett heard a second voice in the background. “Shuttle's fixed. And we've got company, Mr. Vega.”

James swore under his breath as he glanced away from the screen briefly. “Sorry, Admiral, we gotta go.”

“Keep yourselves safe, Lieutenant,” Hackett said. “And let me know the moment that mech resurfaces.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Hackett out.”

The moment the screen cleared, Hackett dialed the communicator in his apartment,  pacing furiously in front of the terminal until it connected .  He wasn't sure if he should  have  be en pleased at the  large bruise that  darkened the left side of  Zaeed's jaw, or disappointed that someone had, literally, beaten him to the punch.

Zaeed paled when he saw Hackett on the screen. “I can ex–”

“Shut up and listen well,” Hackett growled. “You hurt my little girl. I don't know what it was you did, and I likely don't want to know. You do whatever it takes to _fix_ whatever the hell you did, because she's in a tailspin right now and I'm pretty goddamn sure you're the only one who can pull her out of it.”

“It's not that goddamn simple,” Zaeed snapped. “You don't think I've _tried_ to fix it? I can't do anything if she won't talk to me. She's ignored every message I've sent, so I'm giving her space to figure out what she wants.”

Hackett  wasn't sure why, but he found himself asking the question he really didn't want to know the answer to: “What the hell  _did_ you do to her?”

Zaeed sighed heavily. “For a few terrifying moments, I was no better than Tony. It was while Lucy's clone was running around, trying to take over her life. I should have known immediately which was which, but I'd essentially been knocked on my ass by the clone earlier and I wasn't thinking right. Lucy came in and something in me snapped; I assumed she was the clone, come back to try again.”

“And you, what, tried to kill her?”

“She would have fought back against a gun in her face.” Zaeed shook his head. “I put a hand on her throat, got right up in her face and demanded to know who the fuck she was. Scared the hell out of her, and myself when I realized what I'd done.”

Hackett was shaking with fury by the time  Zaeed was done. “You stupid son of a bitch.  I swear,  I'd kill you myself if I didn't know  Lucy wouldn't survive it. I  _warned_ you never to break her trust.”

“And that's why I said it wasn't that simple,” Zaeed shot back. “There's nothing I can do if she doesn't trust me. So for now, she's just gonna have to break out of this _tailspin_ as you said on her own.”

“I'm beginning to see that.” Hackett raised an eyebrow. “Out of curiosity, where'd you get the bruise?”

Zaeed rolled his eyes. “Don't look so goddamn pleased, Admiral. It wasn't like someone decked me on Lucy's behalf. She... took off, I don't know where she went, and not long after that, the clone came back. I immediately recognized her for what she was then and went for my gun, but she was too fast for me. Knocked me out with a single fucking punch.”

“What happened to the clone exactly?”

“Dead, that's all I know for sure. When I came to, Lucy had come back and was standing over the clone with a gun in her hand.” Zaeed grimaced. “And the clone no longer had a face.”

“Christ. And this, all of it, happened in my apartment?”

Zaeed nodded. “And now, Chris and I are in the process of moving out, to the apartment Anderson left to Lucy.” He sighed. “If I have any chance of repairing anything, I knew it wouldn't be in your place.”

“That is a very valid point.”

“Have _you_ talked to her recently?”

Hackett shook his head. “No. I've been getting mission reports from James Vega, but I hadn't heard of any trouble until a few minutes ago, when he called to tell me Lucy had gone down in an old diving mech to talk to some... mythological creature she and Anne Bryson think might help against the Reapers.”

Zaeed slumped in his chair. “Goddammit. This is all my fault.”

“Yes, yes it is.”

“When you talk to her, tell her...” Zaeed sighed. “Tell her I miss her.”

“Tell her yourself, Massani. After this, when she resurfaces, I'm ordering her back to the Citadel for the remainder of the war, whether she likes it or not. I have a feeling Dr. Chakwas will back me up.”

“Thank you.”

“It's not for your benefit, jackass. In case you've forgotten, she's pregnant, and right now, it seems like she just doesn't care anymore. It's for her own good, and that of the baby.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes. “I get that. I just... I'm glad I might have a chance to... help her now.”

“Hopefully you will. As I said, I think you may be the only one who can.” Hackett narrowed his eyes at the mercenary. “But if I _ever_ hear you hurt her again, ever, you won't live long enough to regret it.”

“Understood.”

“Hackett out.”

* * *

> _Inter-Relay Text Chat_
> 
> _Location: Sigurd's Cradle_
> 
> _From: Lt. Vega_
> 
> _To: Admiral Hackett_
> 
> _18:44 V: Sorry for the text chat, sir, but we're having trouble getting the vid-com to work._
> 
> _18:46 H: It's all right. You have news?_
> 
> _18:47 V: Shepard resurfaced about 10 minutes ago, in the middle of two brutes fighting._
> 
> _18:48 H: Each other?_
> 
> _18:50 V: Yes, sir. Whatever the hell happened down there in the ocean, Shepard must have convinced the Leviathan to work with us. A couple of minutes before she resurfaced, all the Reaper troops just stopped firing on us and started fighting each other._
> 
> _18:50 H: Interesting._
> 
> _18:51 H: Is Shepard okay?_
> 
> _18:52 V: Unconscious and freezing at the moment, sir. We docked with the Normandy a couple of minutes before I opened this chat and Cortez and I took her up to the med-bay._
> 
> _18:52 H: Thank you._
> 
> _18:53 H: Tell Joker to head immediately to the Citadel. I'm ordering Shepard to remain there for the duration of the war._
> 
> _18:54 V: Dios. Please don't ask me to be the one to tell her that, sir._
> 
> _18:55 H: No, I think it'd be better coming from Dr. Chakwas. I've already sent her a memo._
> 
> _18:56 H: Good luck out there, Lieutenant._
> 
> _18:57 V: Thank you, sir._
> 
> _18:58 H: Hackett out._
> 
> _18:58 User Has Disconnected._


	49. Chapter 49

Zaeed stood off to the side in the docking bay while Lucy said good-bye to her crew. It had been two weeks since they'd seen or talked to each other and he found he was actually _nervous_ to be around her.

“I didn't go to Omega,” she said quietly when he finally approached her after the Normandy was gone. “I was going to and then I just... I couldn't do it.”

“I'm glad. Aria didn't _need_ you to help her get her goddamn station back, you know.”

She nodded. “I know. She just hated the idea of giving away anything for free, even if it would help her in the long run.”

“Exactly.” He looked down at the railing, at their hands close together but not touching. “So, where do we go from here?”

“I've been thinking a lot about us while we were apart...”

“While you were off doing bloody idiotic things like facing Reapers alone on foot and using rundown diving mechs to talk to sea monsters?”

She cracked a small smile. “Yeah.”

“And? Did you come to any conclusions?”

“I did. I... want to start dating again.”

“Come again?” Zaeed felt his heart stop. “So that's it? You just want to... end it?”

“What?” Lucy rolled her eyes at the look of complete shock that he knew was on his face. “No, idiot. I mean I want to start dating _you_ again.”

“Oh.”

“I just think it would make it easier if we took this in baby steps, like we did when we first started dating.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah, that sounds like it might work.”

“You don't sound so sure.”

He shrugged. “Nothing's a goddamn guarantee, sweetheart. But I'm willing to give it a go.”

“And, for the time being, I think we should sleep in separate bedrooms. There's more than enough space for the three of us.”

“True. So, you wanna head up to the apartment, get settled?”

She nodded. “Yeah. It's been a... long day.”

He frowned when she shivered faintly as they walked to the elevator. “You all right, sweetheart? You don't look so good.”

“Just having a little trouble staying warm since I went down in that stupid diving mech.”

He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. “You want to go up and see Dr. Michel before we go back to the apartment?”

“No, I'll be all right, eventually. Just need some hot tea and a lot of blankets.”

The moment Zaeed opened the door to the apartment, Lucy was swept up in a bear hug from Chris.

“How _are_ you?” he asked almost immediately as he brought her into the living room and settled her on the couch. “You look a little pale. Have you been sleeping?”

She seemed to be trying to evade his line of questioning, giving nondescript answers, as she got up to inspect the lower level of the apartment. “I still can't believe this is Anderson's place,” she said, her voice full of wonder as she looked around the large kitchen. “He doesn't seem the type to have such an... extravagant apartment.”

“He was on the Council for almost two and half years,” Zaeed said. “He probably bought it to keep up appearances with the rest of the Councilors.”

“That's true. I can't imagine theirs places have the same... warmth to them though.”

“Speaking of warmth,” Zaeed said as he saw Lucy shiver again, a bit more violently than before. “I'm gonna go up and get you a blanket.”

She gave him a full smile for the first time since the clone fiasco. “Thanks.” She glanced between him and Chris. “Have y'all eaten? I'm starving,” she said, heading for the fridge.

Zaeed and Chris exchanged a look of terror before the mercenary made a beeline for the stairs with Lucy's bags. In her absence, the fridge had been filled with all the takeout they loved but she didn't approve of.

Sure enough, as Zaeed came back down the stairs with a blanket, he could hear her scolding Chris. “Takeout is for when you don't have time to cook. Y'all have had all the time in the world.”

That was _almost_ true, for Zaeed at least. Chris had been recruited into C-Sec by Commander Bailey after the coup attempt, so he'd been out most hours of the day and night for the last few weeks. But since Aria had left to retake Omega, taking her list of small jobs she needed doing with her, Zaeed had had trouble filling the hours. He'd spent more time than he should in Purgatory, staring into a glass of whiskey and listening to the gossip of soldiers on shore leave. He hadn't gotten to the point of drinking just to have something to do, but if Lucy had been gone much longer, he knew he'd have been in real danger of heading in that direction.

Mention of his name brought Zaeed out of his reverie.

“– Zaeed and I are at Dr. Michel's tomorrow morning, you are gonna go shopping,” Lucy said. “No, don't look at me like that, Chris. I already know you're working the late shift. You'll have plenty of time.”

A moment later, Chris walked out of the kitchen, grumbling to himself. He stopped Zaeed as they passed each other. “Has she always been this strict?”

Zaeed smirked. “About food? Most definitely.” He continued on to the kitchen, stopping short when he saw the look on Lucy's face. “What's wrong, sweetheart?”

She shook her head. “It's nothing... just wondering if I could have persuaded Uncle Steven to let me stay on the Normandy if I relegated myself to just be ship's cook.”

“Never would have worked. He knows you too well. You'd _say_ you were just going to be the ship's cook, and then you'd end up worming your way onto missions, bribing Vega to let you tag along.”

“That is just the...” She rolled her eyes. “All right, yeah that's probably exactly what I would have done.”

“Mhmm.” He glanced at the clock in the fridge door. “What time is this doctor's appointment of yours tomorrow?”

“0900.” She yawned as she looked up at him. “You're gonna be there, right?”

“Of course. I told you I'd be beside you, whatever happened, and I meant that.”

“Good.” She grinned. “Dr. Michel said we'll probably get to hear the heartbeat.”

* * *

“I was beginning to wonder if I was going to get to talk to you ever again,” Hackett said by way of greeting when he answered Lucy's vid-com hail the next morning.

“I'm still mad you kicked me off my own ship, behind my back,” she said with a slight pout. “But Zaeed said I wasn't allowed to deny you a look at the first sonogram picture, so here we are.”

“You two seem awfully _chummy_ already,” he said with a frown, his gaze directed at Zaeed's arm around Lucy's shoulders, his other hand on her stomach, as they sat together in an overstuffed armchair. “You've been together less than a day. I thought you were easing back into your relationship.”

“We are. If you expected us to go back to _no touching_ whatsoever, we'd be at a point before we met.” She rolled her eyes at the almost wistful look her uncle got at that statement. “That's not helpful, Uncle Steven. Again, I'm not sixteen, and Zaeed's not Tony.”

“I'm not so sure about that,” Hackett muttered.

She glared at him. “So help me, I will hang up right now...”

He sighed. “Fine, fine.”

“Thank you.”

“So, you said something about a sonogram picture?”

“It's a vid actually.” Lucy exchanged a smile with Zaeed and laced her fingers with his before she added, “With sound to include the heartbeats.”

Hackett raised an eyebrow. “Did you say heart _beats_ , as in more than one?”

Lucy nodded and her smile widened into a grin. “We're having twins.”


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos and bookmark :)

“0300, right on time,” Zaeed muttered to himself when he heard soft footsteps padding down the back staircase. As they had every night for the past week, the footsteps stopped just outside his bedroom for a few moments before continuing on into the kitchen.

The first night it had happened, after the sonogram appointment, he'd gotten up to investigate and found Lucy dancing around the kitchen in her pajamas as she mixed ingredients for what turned out the next morning to be chocolate chip muffins. Every night since, he'd just left her to it. He knew the revelation that she was carrying twins had increased her stress levels to the point where she couldn't sleep, and just about the only thing that would quickly calm her down was baking.

He still wasn't entirely sure why she paused outside his room every time.

He'd just about drifted off to sleep again when a sound of breaking glass made him bolt upright in bed. A moment later, he heard a string of loud curses, a gunshot and more breaking glass followed by a dull _thud_. He was out of bed in an instant, pulling on a pair of jeans while he grabbed for the pistol he kept bedside. He ran out of the room and up into the kitchen, skidding to a stop when he saw Lucy sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by broken glass and batter.

“What the bloody hell is going on out here?” he asked as he walked around and gently picked her up and set her on the kitchen counter.

She sighed. “Might have... mistaken a shadow thrown by the fireplace as an intruder,” she muttered after she'd watched him picking up pieces of the broken mixing bowl for a couple of minutes.

“So you shot a shadow?” he asked with a smirk.

“Not... exactly. The shadow startled me so bad I dropped the mixing bowl, obviously. I'd been cleaning my pistol earlier and it was still lying on the counter, so I went to pick it up, just in case it _wasn't_ just a shadow. I slipped in the batter, the gun went off and I fell on my ass.”

Zaeed tried very hard not to laugh, considering she could have been seriously injured by a fall like that, but it was a couple of minutes before he could compose himself enough to ask, “What'd the shot hit? I heard glass breaking twice.”

She waved her hand in the general direction of the living room. “I think the bullet may have hit the window. Didn't go through though, that probably would have shattered the whole damn thing if it had.”

The buzzer on the front door made them both jump. Zaeed heard Lucy jump from the counter and follow him as he walked over to the security monitor by the door and turned it on. He was surprised to see Chris and another C-Sec officer standing outside.

“Y'all all right?” Chris asked. “The silent alarm was triggered, and then a couple of minutes later, somebody called in saying they heard a gunshot coming from this apartment.”

“And it took you _this long_ to get here?” Zaeed frowned. “Wait. What d'you mean the silent alarm was triggered?”

Lucy grabbed his arm with both hands. “You mean that was... somebody was actually _in_ here?” Her grip tightened when he went to open the door and found it was indeed already unlocked.

_Shit._

He wrapped his arms around her as she leaned back against him while Chris and his partner went through the apartment room by room.

“Unless they've got an invisibility cloak, whoever it was is gone,” Chris said when they'd finished.

“You mean like _this_?” Lucy said as she tapped a key on her omni-tool  to activate her tactical cloak and Zaeed was left looking like he was holding empty air until she shimmered back into view several seconds later.

“How common are these?” Chris' partner asked.

Lucy shrugged. “I can't imagine they're exactly _rare_ , especially in military and criminal circles; they're extremely useful. Mine was programmed by one of my former crew, who also uses one. And Valern, the salarian Councilor has one, probably from the STG. But neither of them would have any reason to break in.  Even if they did, they'd _never_ be stupid enough to do it when they knew we were home.”

“What about stalker ex-boyfriends?” Chris asked.

“Or Cerberus?” Zaeed added.

“Shit, I didn't even consider Cerberus.” Lucy shook her head in thought. “They're more into being in the public spotlight though. Breaking into my apartment isn't public enough for the Illusive Man. But Tony...” She shuddered. “Yeah, I wouldn't put it past him to have gotten his hands on a tactical cloak, which makes him that much creepier.”

“And that much more dangerous,” Zaeed said, tightening his arms around her ever so slightly when she shuddered again. “In the morning, I'm gonna look into tightening security around here.”

Chris nodded. “Great idea.”

When the two officers had left, Zaeed changed the passcode on the door and messaged it to Chris so he'd be able to get in when his shift was over at noon. As he turned from the door, he glanced over at the window and saw the hole where Lucy had accidentally shot it. Spotting the bullet lying on the floor next to the piano in the corner, he crouched down to pick it up and was surprised to see something else: blood.

“What the hell are you doing, snooping in the corner?” Lucy asked as she walked over to him, a batter-covered sponge in one hand. She knelt beside him and her eyes widened as she looked at the floor. “Is that _blood_?”

He nodded. “Whoever was in here, you clipped the fucker.”

“I dunno if that makes me feel better or worse.” She sighed heavily as she stood up again. “In any case, I'm never gonna get to sleep tonight. Unless...”

“Unless what?” He raised an eyebrow when she started chewing her lip. “What are you thinking about, sweetheart?”

She smiled as she held out a hand to him. “I'm thinking maybe it's time _my_ bed went back to being _our_ bed.”

“That's one thing you can say for Tony,” he muttered as he took her hand and followed her up the stairs. “He may be a goddamn creepy bastard, but he's bloody good at bringing the two of us together.”


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos :)

“What the hell did I ever do to deserve this kind of punishment?” Zaeed grumbled as he painted Lucy's toenails while they watched a biotiball game in the den.

She smirked. “Might as well get used to it, honey. Won't be long before I won't be able to reach my toes and you'll _have_ to do it.”

“It's not the act I object to,” he insisted. “It's the gag-inducing smell of the goddamn polish. All the advances in technology in the last two centuries and nobody's figured a way to change that shit?”

“Are you two seriously talking about _nail polish_?” Chris asked in amusement as he came down the stairs, ready to head out for work. “Somebody should be recording this, put it on the extra-net. Zaeed Massani, badass extraordinaire, talking about lack of advances in beauty products.” 

Lucy laughed so hard she rolled right off the couch when Zaeed shot up, still holding the bottle of nail polish, and ran after Chris as he made for the front door.

She was still sitting on the floor when he came back a couple of minutes later. “Let's go out,” she said as he hauled her to her feet. “We haven't had a date outside of the apartment in weeks, since long before the clone fiasco.”

“You sure you want to risk it?” he teased. “Last time you went _out_ on a date , you fell through a fish tank.”

She rolled her eyes. “So we won't go to the sushi place. I have a feeling I'm banned for life anyway. Also, if you recall, that was a 'date' with Joker, not you, _and_ it was a trap. Worst we're likely to come across is Tony.”

“Goddamn menace. All right, sweetheart. Where d'you want to go?”

“Someplace _nice_ ,” she said with a mischievous grin. “Someplace you have to get dressed up for.”

He groaned. “I knew it. I'm being punished for something. Why the bloody hell would you want to get dressed up? You hate that shit.”

“I hate it when I have no say in the matter, like graduations, other people's weddings, charity fundraisers Uncle Steven _insists_ we go to,” she said as she walked up the stairs. “But this time it's _my choice_ –”

“Definitely not mine,” Zaeed muttered as he followed her up the stairs to the master bedroom.

She ignored his grumbling as she rifled through her clothes and pulled out a dress. “In a couple of months, assuming the galaxy still exists by then, I'm gonna be too fucking big to wear cute stuff like this. And once the babies come, we're not gonna be going out for a  _long_ time.”

He knew she was right, though he'd never hear the end of it if he admitted that. And she did look goddamn gorgeous in her short red satin dress, the skirt flaring out around her as she spun in different directions while she put on her jewelry and looked for shoes.

She raised an eyebrow when she spun back around to face him. “You planning to get dressed or am I going out by myself?”

“I'll get there.” He shook his head as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “I was just thinking, constantly wondering how an old wreck like me got goddamn lucky enough to end up with someone like you.”

“You're not an old wreck, honey. And if you remember, you started it. A girl's bound to pay attention to a guy who saves her life.”

“True, though in the past, that was usually met by the girl running away from the stranger with a gun.”

Lucy smiled. “Then it was definitely their loss. I couldn't imagine my life any other way.”

“Me either.” He reluctantly let her go so he could walk over to the closet. “Are you sure _I_ have to get dressed up?”

“Yes, honey.”

He pulled a suit off the hanger and held it out the door for her inspection. “This good enough?”

“Just the pants and a shirt. You can leave off the jacket and tie.”

_Thank the gods for that._

Zaeed stepped out of the closet dressed all in black a couple of minutes later and smirked when Lucy's eyes glazed over as he walked toward her. “Happy, sweetheart?”

She hummed in approval. “ _Very_.” She bit her lip for a moment before she grabbed his hand and started for the door. “We should go now, before I decide I don't want to go out at all.”

“Where are we going?” he asked when they got to the elevator in the lobby. “I know you don't just intend to prance up and down the Strip.”

“I was thinking the casino. My... the Normandy crew is gonna be there, trying to get a last bit of relaxation in before they hit Cerberus head-on.”

They saw various members of the crew already living it up like it was their last night to be alive, and Zaeed reminded himself that unfortunately, it might just _be_ the last night, for all of them.

He was surprised, though maybe he shouldn't have been, when they found Joker sitting alone at a table on the upper floor. He seemed to be people-watching, though Zaeed noticed he was paying particular attention to a female turian at the bar, and the male turian who looked like he was trying to get up the courage to chat her up.

Zaeed laughed when he realized that the male was Garrus. Lucy was less than amused.

“This was your idea, wasn't it?” she asked as she swatted Joker on the back of the head.

“Ow! And no, it wasn't,” he said indignantly, rubbing the spot she'd hit. “It was his.”

Lucy looked skeptical. “Garrus is putting himself through this torture of his own free will?”

“He figured why the hell not, if we're all gonna go down in flames tomorrow.”

“Y'all sure are an optimistic bunch,” she muttered.

Joker shrugged. “His words, not mine.”

“For fuck's sake, somebody go over there and _save_ him!” Zaeed said as they watched the usually fairly self-confident Garrus stumbling over his words and looking for all the world like he'd rather be facing a Reaper alone than chatting up a woman.

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Have to do everything myself,” she muttered as she stalked off toward the bar.

Zaeed and Joker nearly died laughing at the utter relief that washed over Garrus' face when Lucy walked up and started talking to him. They couldn't hear a word she'd said but from the look on the female turian's face as she walked away from the two friends still talking at the bar, Lucy had made quite an impression.

“I am _never_ doing that again,” Garrus muttered when he and Lucy rejoined Zaeed and Joker at the table. “Thanks for the save, Shepard. I owe you... a few.”

She grinned. “Then you better make sure you keep yourself alive so I can call in the favors.”


	52. Chapter 52

“Guess you two need more room than I thought,” Lucy muttered as she struggled to close the seals on her armor. “My armor's getting too small for you to fit comfortably.”

“You talking to the babies or your breasts?” Zaeed asked with amusement, standing in the doorway of the tiny armory in the master bedroom.

“Both really.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You just gonna stand there smirking or are you gonna help me?”

“Stand here.” He ducked when she threw one of her gloves in his direction. “What the hell are you putting armor on for anyway? You expecting to run into a battle between here and Dr. Michel's?”

The last seal finally closed with a small hiss and she picked up her boots and carried them out to the bed. “It's not for the doctor, smartass,” she said as she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on one of the boots. “I'm going to London, with Major Carlson's squad. We leave in six hours.”

Zaeed picked up her other boot and held it out of reach. “Why the bloody hell would you want to do that?”

“Because I am tired of sitting on my ass, doing nothing to help end this war,” she snapped, jumping up and snatched the boot from his hand. “You are too, Z. I can see it written all over your face, jealous every time Chris goes off to work because he's actually out _doing_ something.”

“Not saying you're wrong, but... I'm not the one who's pregnant and –”

She smirked. “I should hope not. Otherwise, we'd have to stick you in a museum for being some sort of medical marvel.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes. “My point is –”

“I know what your point is, honey.” She stood up again and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I'm not actually going there to fight; I'll 'let others fight for me' as you suggested all those weeks ago.”

“So what's the point of being in London if you're not fighting?”

“I'm going there to help Anderson organize the final assault.”

“Does he know about this?”

She leaned up to kiss him. “If you're so worried, you should come with me.”

“I fucking intend to,” he said, flicking a couple of the seals open again. “But _you_ are not going in _this_.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “You're all worried about me being there in the first place and now you expect me to just walk around in fatigues?”

“Of course not. Sit.” Zaeed walked over to the closet and disappeared for a couple of minutes before he came back and set a large box on the bed.

“What's all this?” Lucy opened the top and gasped. “It's gorgeous!” she said as she lifted the top piece of armor from the box. “Where... how... why?”

“I bought you a new set when I bought my own. It's designed for snipers, so it's lighter and more flexible than... this,” he said as he sat beside her and flicked open the last few seals. “I knew there was a bloody good chance you were going to find some way to weasel your way back into this war, so I figured you might want to be prepared. Of course, if I was a better husband, I'd be trying to talk you out of it, but...”

“But you're smart enough to know it would never work.” She kicked off her boots and began opening the seals on her lower armor. “So if you _knew_ I was going back out, then what the hell was all that about earlier?”

“Couldn't have you thinking I approved of this right off the bat, now could I?” he teased. “Then you'd go around believing you could get away with anything.”

“I love you, so much. Have I mentioned that lately?”

He chuckled. “I love you too, sweetheart. Just promise me you won't go running after a goddamn Reaper on foot again.”

“I promise. Once in a lifetime is more than enough for me.”

* * *

 

> _From: Lucy_
> 
> _To: Uncle Steven_
> 
> _Subj: re: Ignoring a Direct Order_
> 
> _I'm not ignoring anything, Uncle Steven. You may have intended for me to remain on the Citadel for the rest of the war, but that's not the order you gave. You ordered me off of the Normandy for the rest of the war. And I won't be on the Normandy._
> 
> _You know you could have saved yourself a hell of a lot of trouble by not doing everything in your power to convince me to rejoin the Alliance in the first place._
> 
> _Good luck and stay safe. And in case this all ends in disaster, because I never said it enough when I was a kid, thanks for everything. I love you!_
> 
> _-Lucy_
> 
> _PS: Stop blaming Zaeed for decisions I make on my own._
> 
>   
>    
> 


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the lovely comment :)

“Sir? Admiral Anderson is on the vid-com. Says it's about Major Shepard.”

Hackett knew it was bad news the moment Anderson appeared on his screen. “What happened, David?” he asked, tightly gripping the railing in front of him for support.

“Only half of James Carlson's squad has reported to the FOB. So far.”

Hackett's grip relaxed slightly. “There's still a chance?”

Anderson nodded. “The ones who made it told me what happened. A wing of their shuttle got clipped and they subsequently crashed. The entire squad survived, if a little banged up. James split them up into pairs to help mask their movements. Two at a time is a lot easier to get through an enemy line than fourteen all at once.”

“True. Any idea where the rest are, where Shepard is?”

“Not a damn clue. The men said they saw Big Ben not too far off when they crashed, but afterward, they all had to take such roundabout routes to get here, they honestly don't have a damn clue where they started out. Massani and Taylor just left to scout out the area, supposed to be radioing in reports every ten minutes.”

Hackett frowned. “Massani wasn't with Shepard?”

“The squad was already split in half and he ended up on a second transport. They were also shot down but his lot weren't so lucky. He was the only survivor.”

“Jesus.”

“His shuttle crashed not far from Vega, Dr. T'Soni and Vakarian. Coats and I picked up the four of them about ten minutes ago.”

“And the rest of Hammer? How many have reported in?”

“Not nearly enough.” Anderson shook his head. “Less than half.”

Hackett sighed heavily. “This war cannot end soon enough.”

“You're preaching to the choir, Steven.” Anderson turned from the screen for a moment and his expression was even more grave when he turned back. “Taylor and Massani just reported in.”

“And?”

“No sign of Shepard or Carlson, but they found one of the other missing pairs dead alongside a bunch of husks and a brute.”

“Goddammit.”

“She'll be all right, Steven,” Anderson said, clearly making an attempt to sound reassuring. “She's tough, and she's not alone.”

“That's the trouble, David. She's _never_ alone,  not anymore.”

“I know. But you have to trust her; she knows what she's doing.” Hackett heard snippets of the conversation when Anderson turned away again so wasn't surprised when he said, “It's time. Vega and his squad are ready to go.”

Hackett nodded. “Good luck and godspeed. ”

“You too. Anderson out.”

As Hackett walked the short distance from the comm room to the CIC, he had trouble focusing on the battle raging around them instead of what might have happened to Lucy. The fact that she or Carlson hadn't sent even a short message to Anderson was what worried him most.

_They could have ended up near a jamming tower with no way to take it out_ , he reminded himself.  _Then again, why didn't they just move on to a clear spot?_

His mind unhelpfully provided an answer to that as well. _They're trapped, or too injured to move. Or dead._

He mentally slapped himself.  _Get a fucking grip, Steven. There's nothing you can do to help them right now except do everything in your power to get Alenko and Anderson to that beam._

* * *

> _From: Z. Massani_
> 
> _To: S. Hackett_
> 
> _Subj: Test_
> 
> _Comms shorted when the Crucible fired, so no bloody idea if this will go through but figured I'd try anyway._
> 
> _We were pinned down for almost an hour by an endless wave of those goddamn marauders. We're getting back out now that the bastards are falling._
> 
> _If you're on the ground, we're between the FOB and Big Ben, working south toward the tower._
> 
> _-Massani_
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> _From: S. Hackett_
> 
> _To: Z. Massani_
> 
> _Subj: On the Ground_
> 
> _We had to outrun the beam from the Crucible first but we're finally on the ground. My shuttle landed just north of Big Ben, so we should be fairly close to you now._
> 
> _ Have you found  any survivors? _
> 
> _ - Hackett _

 

* * *

Everywhere Hackett looked, there were people  searching the rubble for their loved ones .  But p recious few  survivors  were being found, and of those rescued, it seemed a depressing number ended up dead before they reached the nearest field hospital. 

Minutes turned  in to hours  which  turned  in to a day, then two.  The more time that passed, the more pessimistic everyone became.  Still,  they kept searching,  picking through a maze of rubble mixed with the bodies of soldiers, civilians, and Reapers alike . 

Hackett kept having to remind himself of the fact that, unless they had been disintegrated by a Reaper beam, there had to be  _ some _ sign of Lucy and Carlson.  A few times, he thought he recognized a piece of armor, a boot or a helmet, only to feel a mixture of relief and disappointment when it wasn't he r.

F inally, three long days after the Reapers fell,  someone spotted the squad's shuttle.  Not long after that, Hackett saw a pair of dog tags  near a large pile of rubble . Neither  crashed  shuttles nor dog tags had been an uncommon sight, yet his heart pounded as he crouched down to get a closer look.

T hey were Lucy's. So where the hell was she?


	54. Chapter 54

> _Text Chat_
> 
> _From: Lucy Shepard_
> 
> _To: Zaeed Massani_
> 
> _13:59 LS: You can stop looking for Lucy._
> 
> _14:00 LS: This is Hilary, BTW._
> 
> _14:02 ZM: Where is... um... are you?_
> 
> _14:03 ZM: And why are you on Lucy's omni-tool?_
> 
> _14:05 LS: Lost mine months ago, when we were escaping Vancouver._
> 
> _14:06 LS: We're at the field hospital half a mile north of the FOB._
> 
> _14:07 ZM: How did you find her?_
> 
> _14:08 LS: I've been here almost four days, since just after the Crucible fired._
> 
> _14:10 LS: Lucy & Major Carlson just came in a few minutes ago._
> 
> _14:11 ZM: Are they ok? And are you?_
> 
> _14:12 LS: Sure._
> 
> _14:13 ZM: Hilary..._
> 
> _14:18 LS: I'm fine. And they're... alive._
> 
> _14:19 ZM: Does Lucy know you're using her omni-tool?_
> 
> _14:20 LS: Yep. She says to get your (I am_ _ not typing that!) ass here right now. _
> 
> _ 14:21  LS: Also wants to know if Admiral Hackett's ok. _
> 
> _ 14:21  ZM: Yeah, he's fine. _
> 
> _ 14:22  ZM: Tell her we'll be there in half an hour. _
> 
> _14:22 User Has Disconnected._

* * *

“I'm absolutely fucking _done_ ,” Lucy said the moment Zaeed and Hackett stepped into her “hospital room” – less a room and more one of a set of small partitioned spaces inside a tent.

“Done with what?” Hackett asked innocently, though Zaeed knew he couldn't _actually_ not know what she was talking about.

“The Alliance.” She glared at her uncle. “I never should have let you bully me into rejoining in the first place.”

“If you hadn't, you'd have been stuck alone on that damn island,” he retorted as he sat on one side of her bed, Zaeed already seated on the other.

“So? I'd have been safer there than where I ended up! The Reapers only went after places that had a high concentration of people and/or technology. Our island has neither.” Before Hackett could form another argument, Lucy turned away from him and gave Zaeed a faint smile. “So... hi.”

“Hi, sweetheart. You okay?” he asked apprehensively, glancing at the sling that pinned her left arm tightly to her chest. 

S he nodded. “I'm fine, if completely exhausted. And the babies are fine too,  though I'm in supreme trouble with the doctor over not eating properly the last few days.”

“Well, if you –” Hackett began.

She turned to glare at him again. “Why don't you go yell at Major Carlson? I know you're just dying to.”

“Fine.” He got up and stood in the “doorway” for a moment before he turned and reluctantly walked away.

Lucy sighed heavily and sank back against the pillows.

“So, what happened to you two?” Zaeed asked when they'd sat in silence for awhile. “Figured it had to be something pretty goddamn bad for it to take two career soldiers three and a half days to walk ten miles.”

“Yeah, we ran into trouble from the beginning. After the crash, the whole squad fought off a group of mixed reaper troops, though it was mostly husks and marauders. And only a few minutes after we all split up, Carlson and I ran into another group of marauders.” She gingerly touched the medi-gel-soaked bandage on her left shoulder. “That's when I got shot. It was a through and through though, so it wasn't _too_ bad. Harder to walk through rubble when you're trying to keep something _very still_ though.”

“And Carlson? Hilary made it sound like you two were banged up pretty bad.”

Lucy smirked. “That was my doing, payback for the time I thought you were dead after y'all went to Benning.”

“I had _nothing_ to do with that,” Zaeed protested. “That was all Vega. I wasn't even fucking conscious!”

“I know. But Vega's not here, is he?” She sighed again. “Anyway, Carlson's got a couple of broken ribs. He kinda got his ass handed to him by a brute not two minutes before the Crucible fired. We ended up staying put for about twelve hours after that, but we moved pretty steadily from then on.”

“And why the hell didn't either of you ever send a message?”

She shook her head. “We tried, several times. We couldn't ever get a response. And after the Crucible fired, we figured there was no point. Everything went dead... including my cybernetics.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you serious?”

“I'm _fine_ ,” she said emphatically. “Do I have to kick you out too?”

Zaeed shook his head. “You're not getting rid of me that easily, Luce.”

“So... I haven't heard _anything_ about what happened during the battle. Is everybody okay?”

He was momentarily shocked into silence. He hadn't anticipated that she wouldn't have heard anything yet.

“What?” She frowned at the look on his face. “With Hilary still here, I knew the Normandy hadn't come back yet but... what else?”

“We finally got a message from Bailey yesterday, saying they'd found Alenko, Anderson... and the Illusive Man.”

Her eyes widened. “Together?”

He nodded. “Together, and dead.”

“Shit.”

“No way to know what really went down, though I think your uncle knows more than he's letting on. He was patched into Alenko's comm channel up until the Crucible fired.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Of course he knows more than he's letting on. He always does. And no point asking him, he'll just make up some excuse for not telling me anyway. Anything else I should know?”

“Not that I know of. How long are you stuck here?”

“She's not _stuck_ anywhere, Mr. Massani,” an all-too-familiar voice scolded. They both turned in surprise to see Dr. Michel standing a few feet away. “She's free to leave any time, though I would think she'd want whatever was best for the babies.”

Zaeed raised an eyebrow. “You're a long way from Huerta, Dr. Michel.”

“I go where my patients are, particularly the stubborn ones,” she said with a stern look at Lucy.

Lucy sighed. “Are you here to be helpful or to lecture?”

“That's up to you, Shepard. Are you done making rash decisions and taking risks?”

“Depends on what you consider a rash decision or a risk.”

Dr. Michel rolled her eyes. “I'll take that as a no.”

“Can I go or not?”

“Of course. But the frequency of your doctor's appointments will increase to once a week, all right?”

“Fine.”

“Have you talked to Hilary?” Zaeed asked Lucy after Dr. Michel left to tend to other patients. “About staying with us?”

“Not yet. I was kind of avoiding the subject. Has there been _any_ word on the Normandy?”

“None. Speculation is that they might have crashed on some planet when they were trying to outrun the Crucible beam.”

“Damn. Well, then let's go find her and tell her the plan.”

“Tell who what plan?” Hilary asked as she hobbled into the room.

Zaeed saw for the first time that she hadn't escaped injury either, sporting a cast on her right leg and using crutches. “What the hell happened to you?”

“She had an unfortunate encounter with a rotted out wooden floor. Lucky she didn't break her neck,” Lucy said as she carefully slid off the bed. She looked over at Hilary. “We were just coming to tell you that you're gonna stay with us 'til the Normandy gets back.”

Hilary looked skeptical. “And if it _never_ comes back?”

“Pessimism must run in the family,” Zaeed muttered.

“It's not like we're putting a time limit on how long you can stay,” Lucy said. “You'll stay with us 'til you turn 18, if it comes to that, and then you can decide for yourself. But you'll always be welcome.”


	55. Chapter 55

Two months after the end of the war, life seemed to be returning to a semblance of normalcy. Chris had moved out after he received a message confirming that neither John nor Brandi had survived the destruction of Fort Worth. Hilary had moved into his old room not long after, though she'd spent the first few weeks hunkered down in the den, her eyes glued to the TV as she watched ANN near constantly for any word on the Normandy. Eventually, Lucy had sat her down and told her that, _if_ Joker was gone  for good, it wouldn't do his memory any justice to just sit around and forget to live. The message had obviously gotten through, because it wasn't long before Hilary had fully moved into her room, signed up for school and, after her cast was off, gotten a job at the arcade across from Tiberius Towers.

“It's been awfully bloody quiet here today,” Zaeed said early one evening not long before Christmas, as he and Lucy lay together on the couch, watching a movie. “Hilary out or something?”

Lucy raised an eyebrow as she craned her neck around to look at him. “You just now noticed she was gone? She's been out since this morning.”

“Oh?”

“She was working a double shift at the arcade and then going Christmas shopping with a couple of friends. She said she might – oof!” Lucy grabbed Zaeed's hand and put it on her stomach, which had expanded considerably in the last few weeks.

He quickly but carefully sat up, bringing her with him. “Is that... did one of the babies just kick?”

“Actually, I'm pretty sure they're kicking each other.” She grinned as she shifted around to face him. “Little trouble-makers even before they're born.”

“So, taking after their mum,” he said with a smirk.

“Don't play innocent, Massani,” she said, playfully punching him in the arm. “You get into plenty of trouble yourself.”

He leaned in to close the distance between them and kissed her. “Not lately, sweetheart,” he murmured against her lips. “That's been all you.”

“Name _one_ time I've gotten into trouble.” He started to respond and she quickly added, “Since the war ended.”

“Um...”

“'S what I thought,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him as she got up and walked toward the kitchen. “I've been a perfect angel the last few weeks.”

He got up to follow and almost immediately ran into her as she stood stock still by the back stairs. She was trembling slightly when he grabbed her arms to steady them both. “Sweetheart? What –”

He followed her line of sight and immediately saw _what_.

The front door was open, yet there was no one in the living room.

He called out for Hilary, hoping she'd left the door open to make it easier to bring in everything she'd bought, but there was no answer.

_Shit._

Zaeed and Lucy quickly moved behind the bar to retrieve a couple of pistols they kept in a locked drawer.

“It's Tony, isn't it?” she said in a harsh whisper.

“Wouldn't bloody surprise me.” Zaeed gestured for her to get behind him and began slowly walking up the stairs. “Show yourself, you goddamn coward!”

Still no response, but he hadn't really expected one.

They checked the rooms on the second floor, and the landing, before going back down the front stair case.

Zaeed turned on the lights in the lone bedroom on the main floor and he felt something, or _someone_ he couldn't see brush past him as heavy footsteps ran into the kitchen and back toward the front door.

“There!” Lucy shouted, aiming her pistol at what looked to Zaeed like thin air by the recliner in the living room. She fired and he heard a cry of agony and a heavy _thud_ moments before Tony shimmered into view, both hands pressed against his right thigh. “Told you the next time I saw you, I'd shoot you,” she growled.

“How the bloody hell did you see him?” Zaeed asked in amazement as he sent an emergency message to Commander Bailey. He sent a second to Major Carlson, figuring he'd like to know that Tony was up to his old tricks again.

She shrugged stiffly, her left shoulder still somewhat sore. “I didn't, exactly. I _thought_ I saw a shimmery shadow thing, same as last time, so I took a chance. If I'd actually seen him, I'd have shot him in the fucking head.”

Zaeed knew she sounded more confident than she actually felt, refusing to give Tony the satisfaction of knowing he'd had any effect on her.

Tony suddenly lunged up. “You fucking –” 

A moment later, he lay still on the floor, a bullet between his unseeing eyes.

Zaeed raised an eyebrow at Lucy.

She shrugged again. “Finger slipped.”


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the super-long wait. NaNo, etc.  
> Thanks for the kudos :)

Though everyone had a lot to celebrate with the end of the war, Christmas was subdued. Hackett wasn't able to get out of London, and Lucy and Hilary had had enough of the city to last twenty lifetimes. So they and Zaeed celebrated with James Carlson and Chris, who were – in Lucy's eyes at least – just as much family as Hilary.

Halfway through Christmas dinner, Hilary burst into tears and ran up to her room.

Lucy waddled up the stairs and knocked on the door. “Hils? You all right?” When she didn't get an answer, she knocked again and hacked the lock. She stopped short in the doorway. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Leaving,” Hilary said as she threw a pile of clothes into her suitcase. “I can't stay here anymore.”

“Why not?” Lucy shoved a second pile to the side and sat on the edge of the bed. “Is this because we're celebrating Christmas? You were so excited about it last weekend.”

“Yeah well things change in the heat of the moment, ya know? Shouldn't you be out looking them? Have you just given up on finding your _best friend_ and your _crew_?”

Lucy sighed. “Of course not. But Hilary, what do you expect to do? You can't fly a ship, and besides, you have no idea where to look for them.”

“So help me.”

“Does it look like I can help _anyone_ do _anything_ right now?” Lucy said, gesturing to her ever-growing belly. “I couldn't even cook the goddamn dinner.”

“Come with me!” Hilary insisted. “Jeff would do the same if it was you!”

“I know he would, sweetie. But there's two major differences between your darling brother and myself,” Lucy said with a small smile. “He wouldn't be six months pregnant, with twins no less, and if he was, I'd figure out how to get back all on my own just to fucking see it. But probably more importantly, he's a competent pilot; people don't run screaming in the other direction when he sits in the cockpit.”

“You don't have a bloody ship to scare people off with anyhow,” Zaeed said from the doorway, his arms folded over his chest.

Lucy rolled her eyes. “It's rude to eavesdrop, honey.”

“Sounds to me like it was good I did,” he countered. “Seeing as you two were plotting to run away.”

“Not me, just her.”

“Uh-huh.” Zaeed glanced over at Hilary. “Where you off to in such a hurry, kid? You didn't even stay to open your present.”

She shrugged. “Keep it. Nothing I want or need.”

“You might want to hold that thought 'til you've seen it.”

Lucy narrowed her eyes at her husband. “What's going on?”

“Guess you two will just have to come back downstairs and see for yourselves,” he said with a wink as he walked out into the hall. “Might want to hurry, too.”

There was only one _present_ Lucy could think of that both she and Hilary would want. But it wasn't possible; they'd have heard if the Normandy had been found, or managed to find its way back.

Right?

She paused on the landing to look down at the living room and had to grip the rail to keep upright.

Joker was standing by the enormous Christmas tree, looking incredibly goofy with a big red bow attached to his baseball cap. Lucy didn't know whether to laugh or cry as Hilary tore down the stairs three at a time and nearly bowled her brother over.

He grinned as he glanced up at Lucy. “You just gonna stand up there all night or what?”

* * *

> _From: Uncle Steven_
> 
> _To: Lucy_
> 
> _Subj: re: Christmas Surprise?_
> 
> _Of course I knew. Had one hell of a job keeping it under wraps, so the crew could have a quiet holiday. And no, they were not the (initial) reason I couldn't get out of London._
> 
> _Have a Merry Christmas, sweetheart. I should be able to get up there for New Year's Eve._
> 
> _-Uncle Steven_

* * *

After a loud and slightly obnoxious New Year's Eve party, Lucy was more than ready to head back to Earth, to see how the beach house had fared in the war. She needed some peace and quiet after the stress of the last six months. And she and Zaeed needed time alone before the twins arrived and turned life on its head again.

“Are you insane, Shepard?” Dr. Michel said incredulously when Lucy told her the plan at her next appointment. “You've had entirely too many close calls as it is. I want you to rest these last few weeks.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “That's what I'm trying to do, Doc. Can't get much more relaxing than a _beach_.”

“I might agree with that statement, except as I understand it, your little island is in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, at least an hour's shuttle ride to the nearest hospital.”

“Your point?”

“My _point_ is that carrying twins is a lot different than carrying a singleton. There's more risk for complications, both to you and them, not to mention the fact that twins are notorious for arriving early, as much as four weeks early.” Dr. Michel shook her head slightly. “I would feel much better if you were within arm's reach of a hospital, that's all.”

“It's a valid point, Lucy,” Hackett said from the doorway.

She huffed. Zaeed would have agreed with her, probably, about going to their beach house. But he was out for a few days on a _bounty that couldn't wait_ , according to the message he'd left her. So Hackett was staying with her until Zaeed returned; she had nightmares about Tony when she was home alone.

She glared at her uncle. “Why exactly are you here again?”

“Because you tend to wander instead of going where you're supposed to, when you're let loose by yourself, and you'd never have actually made it to your appointment.”

“As I've said before, I'm not sixteen anymore, Uncle Steven. If I don't want to get yelled at by Chloe –”

“If you don't want to get yelled at, then maybe you should actually listen to her for once.”

“Thank you, Admiral.” Dr. Michel smiled at him and then glanced at Lucy, her expression immediately turning serious. “Honestly, if I knew there was even a small chance you'd follow through, I'd recommend bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy.” She held up a hand when Lucy began to protest. “But I know you well enough to know that would only cause more stress, because you just don't know how to sit still. So, I'm recommending staying on the Citadel and –”

“I'll make it an order if I have to,” Hackett said.

Dr. Michel shook her head slightly and continued. “Staying on the Citadel and relaxing as much as possible.”

“Fine.” Lucy chewed her lip thoughtfully for a moment. “You said I can't go to _our_ beach house, right? But, um... can we go to _a_ beach house? One that's on a populated island with access to a hospital?”

The doctor sighed. “If you insist. It wouldn't be my first choice, but I have a feeling that now the idea is in your head, you're going to do it anyway.”

“ _What_ populated island?” Hackett asked suspiciously.

Lucy grinned. “I was thinking... Corfu?”


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos :)

Because it was after the holiday season when most tourists had gone back to _reality_ , Zaeed managed to rent the same cottage he and Lucy had stayed in for their honeymoon. Secluded and very private, but only a five-minute drive (less if he was driving) to the hospital.

The first few days, Lucy seemed to struggle with the idea of relaxing, though he knew that's what she'd wanted. But after she had to lay down, exhausted, halfway through making dinner one night in their second week on the island, she settled in to a routine of relaxation. 

T hey spent every day in the living room and every evening out on the deck.

“Stop it!”

Zaeed looked down at Lucy with concern. She'd fallen asleep, her head on a pillow in his lap, during a marathon run of her favorite vid series, and now it seemed she was having a nightmare.

He suppressed a laugh a moment later however when she growled softly and muttered, “So help me, I will come in there and separate the two of you myself.”

He put a hand on her belly and almost immediately felt a tiny foot kick him. At seven months, the twins didn't have much room to move now, but it seemed every chance they got, they kicked.

“I know what their names should be,” she said, turning her head slightly to look up at him. “Steven and Kevin.”

“Oh?”

“They're not even here yet and they already remind me of the stories Uncle Steven told me about him and my brother growing up together.”

“Uh-huh. And what if they're not boys?”

She turned away again to avoid his gaze. “They are. Or at least one of them is.”

“How do you – you saw the ultrasound, didn't you?”

She shook her head against the pillow. “Dr. Michel accidentally let it slip at my last appointment before we came here. I was going to tell you, but... well, I just did, I guess.”

“Does Hackett know?”

“No, after we argued over the whole me wanting to go to the beach thing, he left to go to a meeting. It was after that that Dr. Michel said they were likely boys, though she said it's hard to tell with twins, if they aren't _cooperative_ during the ultrasound.” Lucy tilted her head awkwardly to look at Zaeed upside down. “Are you mad?”

“Of course not.” He helped her sit up against his chest. “We never definitely said we didn't want to know, and all I care is that they, and you, are healthy.”

“I love you, so much.”

He gently tilted her head to the side and captured her lips in a heated kiss. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

 

* * *

> _ F rom: Z.  Massani _
> 
> _To: S. Hackett; J. Moreau_
> 
> _ Subj:  It's Time _
> 
> _Thought I'd let you two know Lucy went into labour late last night._
> 
> _ Oh and she 'll do unspeakable things to me if I forget to say this, so: Happy Birthday,  Joker ! _
> 
> _Try not to do anything too stressful... sorry. I've been around these bloody doctors too long. Do whatever the hell you want on your birthday, relaxing or not._
> 
> _-Zaeed_

 

> _From: S. Hackett_
> 
> _To: Z. Massani_
> 
> _Subj: re: It's Time_
> 
> _It's not all that long a flight from London to Corfu. I'll be there in a couple of hours._
> 
> _-Hackett_

* * *

When he finally arrived at the hospital, Hackett was surprised to find Zaeed pacing the maternity ward waiting room.

“What happened?” he asked when the mercenary finally stopped in front of him. “I thought you'd be in the delivery room.”

“They kicked me out, about an hour ago,” Zaeed said quietly.

“What's wrong? Is Lucy all right?” Hackett had seen the man worried, but never _this_ worried.

Zaeed sighed heavily and sank into one of the chairs. “I don't know.”

“What happened that led to you being kicked out of the room?”

“All along, Lucy had had this crazy idea that she was going to do everything _naturally_. No drugs or anything. She's got a very high pain threshold, so she figured she'd be all right.” Zaeed sighed again. “After a few hours though, she couldn't take it anymore and practically bit the nurse's head off when they didn't bring the epidural quick enough after she asked for it.”

“And then she had a reaction to the drugs?” Hackett asked knowingly, sitting next to him.

Zaeed nodded. “She was fine for a couple of minutes, talking and pretty goddamn  _happy_ really. And then, she just... stopped.”

“Stopped?”

“Stopped moving, stopped talking...” Zaeed dug his fingers into his knees and swallowed hard before he added, “Stopped _breathing_.”

“Christ.”

Zaeed put his head in his hands. “After that, it was a  goddamn  blur of people running around,  Dr. Michel yelling orders. S omebody shoved me out of the room  and I've been out here ever since.”

Hackett tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. He didn't think there was anything he could say that would make Zaeed feel better. On the contrary, it was likely to piss him off.

They stayed that way, both men unmoving and staring at the floor, for what felt like an eternity before the door to the ward finally opened. Hackett looked up to see Dr. Michel walking toward them.

She smiled warmly. “Admiral, so glad you made it.”

Zaeed seemed to come out of a  stupor, jumping to his feet at the sound of her voice. “Is Lucy all right? The babies?”

“Everyone's fine. You can both go back and see them if you like.”

Zaeed didn't even wait for her to finish her sentence before he was through the door.

“Thank you, Chloe,” Hackett said as he stood up and walked with her through the door and down the hall. “How is Lucy, really?”

“She's a fighter, Admiral,” she said as they stopped outside Lucy's room. “She'll be weaker for awhile, and have to take it easy, but she'll be fine.”

“And the twins?”

Dr. Michel smiled again as she gestured toward the door. “See for yourself.”

* * *

> _From: Zaeed Massani_
> 
> _To: Multiple Recipients_
> 
> _Subj: We're Parents!_
> 
> _Goddamn scary thought, I know._
> 
> _It wasn't a smooth ride, by any means, but Steven Edward and Kevin Jeffrey are here, six weeks early. I've attached a picture and a vid._
> 
> _They and Lucy will be in hospital for at least a few days, but I'm sure you'll all be hearing from her very soon._
> 
> _Assuming everything goes to plan (it won't, likely), we'll be on the Citadel for a few days in a couple of months so you lot can meet the boys._
> 
> _-Zaeed_


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who's left kudos and comments, bookmarked this, and to everyone who's read this. I love you all!  
> there may be a Valentine's chapter, if I can get it written, but it will be a one-shot if it happens.  
> again, thank you all, for everything. :)
> 
> tw: depression

Lucy stood in the doorway of the nursery, just out of sight, watching Hilary struggling to get the twins to sleep. She nearly cracked a rib trying not to laugh when she heard the seventeen-year-old scolding them with “Why won't you guys sleep? _I_ always went straight to sleep without complaining when I was your age.”

“Spying on the babysitter, sweetheart?” Zaeed muttered as he came up behind Lucy and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Or are you stalling?”

She leaned back against him  and sighed deeply . “Maybe a bit of both.  It's the first time  I'm leaving them, voluntarily, overnight .  It's just... hard. ” 

He  placed a gentle kiss behind her ear as he  tightened his arms around her. “I know, sweetheart. But this is a good thing. You're making progress.”

The first several months after the twins' birth had  overwhelmed  Lucy. She'd fallen into a deep postpartum depression that had nearly consumed her entirely. She'd been in and out of Huerta several times and, for their own safety, the twins had spent more time with J oker and Hilary than with their own parents. 

But now, as the galaxy marked the first anniversary of the end of the Reaper War,  everything finally seemed to be falling into place again.  Though Zaeed hadn't taken any new mercenary contracts since just before the twins were born, he and Lucy had begun working for James Carlson's new security firm. So far, they'd mainly taken on clients whose mercenary guard forces had been decimated by the Reapers.

And  Admiral Hackett had called and practically insisted  they attend the party the Alliance was throwing to celebrate the completion of the new Arcturus Station. So, as much as they still detested formal functions, they'd agreed to go. But just for one night.

“It's not like she'll be alone,” Zaeed said, peeking over Lucy's shoulder when Hilary started singing a lullaby. “Chris is here if anything goes wrong. But it won't,” he added when his wife turned to glare at him.

She sighed again.  “ I know. I t just... it seems like I've missed out on so much, I hate to leave them. ”

“You'll see them when we get back tomorrow night. I promise, they'll still be here.” He gently guided her away from the nursery. “But if we don't leave now, we'll be late for the transport and then –”

She smirked. “And then we'll have to stay.”

He rolled his eyes and propelled her toward the front door where Joker and their suitcases were waiting. “Let's go, sweetheart.”

* * *

> _From: Hilary_
> 
> _To: Lucy_
> 
> _Subj: re: Everything Okay?_
> 
> _The twins are fine. They finally settled down not long after you guys left. I'm hoping they'll sleep through the night, but knowing my luck, they'll be awake again in a couple of hours._
> 
> _Have fun at the party and try not to worry too much, okay? You needed this night out. Enjoy it._
> 
> _-Hilary_

* * *

“Glad to see you were able to convince her to come tonight,” Hackett said as he and Zaeed watched Lucy somewhat awkwardly dancing with Wrex.

“I just hope it's worth it. She's made so much progress in the last few weeks, I'd hate to see her fall back because of one goddamn party.”

“As long as she doesn't turn to alcohol to solve her problems, the way Michael did, she'll be all right.”

Zaeed said nothing , thinking of all the times over the last few months when  Lucy ha d come close to going down that  very  road.

“What did I tell you about frowning like that, honey?” 

He looked up to find Lucy standing in front of him, an amused sort of look on her face. “Finished dancing, sweetheart?”

She  laughed . “Just with Wrex.”

“Oh?”

“It's exhausting trying to dance with him and avoid getting my feet stomped on, and _attempt_ to hold a conversation.”  She chewed her lip a moment and held out a hand. “Dance with me.”

Zaeed took her hand and led her out onto the dance floor  as the band started playing a slow song . They danced in silence for a couple of minutes, lost in the music.  As the song changed, he tipped  her chin up with one  finger so he was looking into her eyes,  surprised to see tears in them. “What's wrong, sweetheart?”

“Nothing. For once, they're happy tears. I swear.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“You. You've just been beyond patient through, well, everything. You've always believed in me, in _us_ , even when I didn't.” She leaned up to kiss him. “I don't say it nearly as much as I should, but I love you, Zaeed.”

He pulled her closer  and deepened the kiss  as they continued to dance . “I love you too,  Lucy . Always.”


End file.
